Fandom Was A Mistake

This April Fools, I'm choosing honesty: ask me anything

this is not a bit, you can actually ask me anything

Where the fuck is my mouse? I was watching stuff on the computer before bed and I had it on my mattress with me. I fell asleep and when I woke up it just wasn't anywhere anymore. I spent all day looking for it, I turned my bedroom upside down, took everything out and put it back in in a different order, and I still haven't found it. I spent eight hours on it. My room isn't even that big. What can I do to summon it back to the realm of the living?

This April Fools, I'm choosing honesty: ask me anything

this is not a bit, you can actually ask me anything

Being a scifi writer is like being a techbro with a cheat code

Those idiots are all out there designing the Truck of the Future and libertarian ocean cities where everyone lives in pods and AI-monitored linear cities in the desert and then falling on their faces because they can't actually fucking build it or make it work. With scifi you can skip that shit. I can just be like "Arborea Atlantica is a massive floating island made of genetically engineered trees and its population's main industry is maintaining their engineered ecosystem and do I have to try to engineer any trees? No. All these Future City and Ocean Civilisation and AI Utopia people are giving themselves extra impossible tasks for no reason.

Nobody would've laughed at cryptocurrency if it had shown up in Snow Crash instead of the real world.

I'm pretty sure it did but they called them designer avatars

How the hell did I see the word crypto currency and read nft

Same reason you see lululemon and think essential oils. Same scam different garbage.

I always thought lululemon was a children's TV show

Envisioning a cocomelon-based pyramid scheme now

My apologies to lululemon, a presumably innocent (of this particular thing) clothing store chain.

Maybe being good at social media should not be the main qualifier for all creative work

Seeing the notes on this talk about all the other careers that I hadn't even considered being affected by this is just depressing. What do you mean you need to be Instagram famous to have a career as a hairdresser?

as much as I love portrayals of the sun and moon as a (lesbian) couple, the greeks were really on to something when they said "actually they're siblings who disapprove of each other's life choices"

everything I know about My Little Pony I have learned against my will

All knowledge of greek mythology I learn from others and I devour with glee

people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

my dearly beloved mutual you cant just leave this in the tags

While exploring a vast and inscrutable city which seems to predate life on earth I am gently picked up by something incomprehensible with the higher-dimensional equivalent of a cup and piece of paper, then lovingly set outside in my natural habitat. Unfortunately the being exists outside of time and can't really tell human cities apart from one another so I appear without warning in ancient sumer.

Comic I made a few years ago for an anthology

oh my god this is wonderful

the state of the job search these days is something fucking else man

Im sorry but it is so funny how people outside of tumblr view us. Like why are the tiktokers treating tumblr like some professional ass website you need to do extensive prep before you begin posting on. And the follower farming advice is so fucking funny to me when this is the website where people actively hate getting new followers

Tumblr is the website where you ramble to yourself like a madman until someone decides they like you and put you into their pocket like a shiny rock. That's how you get followers

If someone hasn’t already, one of these days we’ll have to do a poll-based tournament for all the various kink metas that Tumblr has cycled through in the last couple years to find the best one.

I was a particular fan of the mech pilots myself, the current maid/princess thing doesn’t do much for me.

i think a loving thing u can do for yourself before a solo trip is to have a line item in ur budget, as critical and untouchable as Plane Tickets and Lodging, called Stupid. this money cannot be used for anything other than bailing u out of stupid situations

sometimes the Stupid moments are obvious like “my designated in-bag phone charger™️ is missing and my phone’s dying” or “i can’t find the goddamn bus stop it’s getting really late”, but sometimes they’re small like “huh the food at this bar i wanted to go to is pretty expensive”. the temptation to do the risky but cheap thing (walking around with a dead phone, getting lost, drinking on an empty stomach) over the expensive but safe thing (buy another charger at the closest shop, call a cab, pay too much for some mid-ass chicken gyozas bc though you do want to try the signature local beer it’s been a minute since you ate anything) is mitigated. it’s fine, u can assure yourself. take it out of the Stupid Budget

Bill Watterson is an insightful dude…

Calvin’s dad is a radical anti capitalist.

Calvin’s dad is secretly Theodor W. Adorno

For context: this was published in the 90s. C&H ended in 1995. This biting social commentary is probably at least 30 years old.

Do not obey in advance, but do not obey at all! "until there are legally enacted rules..." EVEN THEN! Do you think when crossdressing laws were on the books everyone agreed to stop doing it until it was fought in court? when sodomy laws were on the books do you think everyone stopped having sex with their partners until it was fought in court? For everyone who lived in a state a mere 10 years ago who could not legally marry their partners, do you think they accepted that or married elsewhere, protested publicly, and held secret ceremonies anyway?

People love to invoke Stonewall for their #Resistance stance but do you realize that the laws were broken before the first brick/bottle/rock/shoe was even thrown? That cops raided bars because of how people dressed, who they were cozied up to, what they looked like. Our peers and elders have been brutalized by cops for wearing ties or heels and our peers and elders have been brutalized for where they piss.

Do not comply at all with unjust law! Never!

Do not relent to unjust laws! Do not simply resist when there is a loophole--fight like hell when the law is clear and precise and you know that the law is wrong.

Much of the worst atrocity committed in this country and by this country was "legal" -- that doesn't mean shit. Protect each other, run cover for each other, and do not yield to the law when the Law of the Land says your existence is illegal.

ao3 mcu a:aou abo bdsm ot3 hs au pwp

the fact that this is completely understandable and rather descriptive makes me rethink what i’ve done with my life

#i understand it perfectly but you couldn’t fucking pay me to read it

this post has ended up in at least 2 masters theses and 1 presentation and im not sure how i feel about that

World Heritage Post

imagining an alternate timeline where shakespeare wrote a play about king arthur. we would be so unwell

yeah cause thou art so well otherwise, tumblr user currently crying about Lancelot

you know what verily i deserv’d this

scam texts aren't even trying any more. i have to pay my taxes? at latina fiesta dot co???

I’m not sure if this counts as a healthy coping mechanism, but every time I have a shitty interaction with a doctor or my insurance provider I open up the crackfic Deathstroke flower shop AU I started messing around with after I had a dream inspired by reading too many Nightwing comics/playing too much Garden Life simulator before bed, and I get Deathstroke to shoot the fucker.

Not fatally. Just somewhere really painful that would make you reframe how you treat chronic pain patients as “drug seeking” and hand them leaflets about mindfulness instead of offering actual help :)

Anyway. I’m having a normal one today. How are all of you?

My therapist seems to have forgotten our appointment, so I guess I'll be sitting here writing idle violence in Ellipsus for the next hour.

Mindfulness exercises in a body with chronic pain be like:

I feel all of the places I was trying to ignore are in pain. The pain will not pass. The position I'm in is uncomfortable. There isn't a comfortable position for me. Okay enough mindfulness time to focus really hard on anything else.

That’s it. That's exactly what it’s like.

And then, if you’re me, you start disassociating to escape the pain, and then you hurt yourself worse because you’re blocking out your body, and the cycle continues.

And yet, I keep getting given mindfulness pamphlets by fucksticks. Aaaaahhhhh