aimé malgré soi-même

big man disturbing the peace. excuse me sir | source

Well you see, what you've done is install a boar enrichment toy instead of a trash can

voice acting as a profession is so funny because you'll see someone being like "voice actors need to be paid better! like [obscure person you've never heard of]" and you're like "oh I wonder who that person is, maybe I've heard them voice a character" and you look it up and it turns out they voice 137 characters in Futurama and 94 characters in The Simpsons and 96 characters in Adventure Time and every one of the My Little Ponies and 27 characters in Arcane and 96 characters in Kim Possible and 4 characters in Phineas and Ferb and 296 characters in Dexter's Laboratory and all of the main cast of Fairly Odd Parents and at least 6 characters in every Pixar movie and almost every animated depiction of Superman and 473 SpongeBob characters and they've been in every installment of Mass Effect and Halo and The Elder Scrolls and Fallout and Call of Duty and they were in Star Trek and Law & Order and they were 12 characters in the MCU and they also invented t-shirts and the colour green and they got paid a sum total of $3.27 and a mothball for all of it combined. then you go burn down David Zaslav's house with him inside

Today's birds are these Australasian swamphen aka Pūkeko and a lot of Coots

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

Stop listening to folk punk

my dream is for u to have a restful lil time

we can still be the next pdf give us another chance

I would put that on my cv

i hope after doing nothing about bird flu some kind of alfred hitchcock scenario arises where rfk jr. is trapped in an enclosed space with many angry, sickly birds

I love all books but sometimes you read a book and you’re like so were all 21 thousand of you blindfolded and at gun point when you rated it 5 stars

im gods weakest faggot

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

Switching between these every day

the thing is in hindsight i do think the hipster vs fandom blog dichotomy was a completely real and true phenomenon because to this day i will come across a social media post, youtube video, trend forecast article, etc that namedrops "2013 tumblr" and with the absolute bare minimum of context clues you can IMMEDIATELY tell whether they had a soft grunge blog or whether they were yelling about their ovaries exploding in the reblogs of a benedict cumberbatch gifset and it is ALWAYS one of those two extremes

it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.

this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!

I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??

the absolutely wild implication of this, that god was previously playing fast and loose with his own acts of good and evil but then had to start being considerate about what he was doing because now mankind is watching and we know.

God's worst mistake was opening our eyes and mouths, for now we can turn to him and name his sins

one of the lines of all time