previously @lottieurl

study group is not going so well

What was interesting to me as a parent was watching how in episode 4 we see the father mirroring Jamie's behaviour in episode 3. It's in so many subtle and more obvious ways.

The way that hour of t.v. in episode 4 is slow so that we can steadily watch the father and watch how closely his wife monitors his emotions so that she can step in to regulate them for him. She pushes her emotions aside to monitor his because his potential to blow up and get violent verbally or physically is potentially dangerous for her and her daughter.

Jamie switches from screaming to apologising in episode 3. Then we see the father apologise in episode 4 for spilling the water from the bucket after blowing up at his wife. He apologises for the wrong things. His son does the same.

His father hasn't shared with his wife what he saw Jamie do on the video and she says he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. In the same way Jamie hasn't spoken to any of his family about how he and his friends have been bullied at school - spat on and ridiculed in real life and online.

Episode 4 is so fascinating to me. Watching each person's individual roles in relation to each other in that regular family. Lisa especially monitoring the emotional state of her parents, so that she can intervene to soothe them or distract them to calm them down. She does the same with Jamie on the phone and still claiming Jamie as theirs. The parents think they've raised their kids the same. But they themselves have gendered roles in the family. The kids have mirrored their mother and father respectively.

Cynthia Erivo accepts the Stephen F. Kolzak Award at the 36th annual GLAAD Media Awards (x)

Episode 3 as a whole is a punch to the gut, but I believe one of the most important parts of it to me was the way they perfectly portrayed how violent men and boys will take advantage of “not perfect” victims to try and rid themselves of any responsibility for their violence.

Even at 13, Jamie is aware of that, subconsciously or not. He uses words like “bitch” and “slut” to refer to a 13 year old girl—a child he killed. He brings up her leaked photos again and again, talks about her comments and her treatment of him as if any of that should exempt him from his crime.

He already knows he has an advantage, for being a boy and having hurt a girl who’s not perfect and “pure”. The show drives this point home when that store’s employee tells Jamie’s dad he suports his son and talks badly about Katie. He says there’s more people who agree with him.

Because there are. The whole time, Jamie brings up “Katie was flat”, “she took nude pictures”, “she rejected me”, “she bullied me”. He still tries to paint her as the villain when he was the one who admitted he only pursued her because she was fragile and he wanted to take advantage of that.

He even claps himself in the back because he didn’t sexually assault her after he murdered her, as if that makes him a good person. (When he did in fact commit a sexual crime by looking at her naked pictures without her consent).

I think that’s the most vital part of the show. The way Jamie can’t comprehend what he did was wrong because he doesn’t view Katie as a person, not even in death. That’s his understanding.

that moment when you cross the point of no return with a character should be accompanied by a specific chime i think. like 🔔 congratulations! this one has been installed in the Permanent Collection and you will never stop thinking about them as long as you live

assorted gelphie sketches. because the madness is upon me

it was a long time ago

JONATHAN BAILEY Behind the scenes of WICKED (2024)

“It was the bees,” was the mutter, and the implication was clear.  You, too."

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I saw this old painting of mine was getting notes again, and thought I might do a new version inspired by Cynthia's Elphie!

i just watched wicked and you literally cannot tell me that glinda and elphaba aren't in love

just had such an ultimate ao3 experience

> i open the fic

> it's a 20k explicit one shot

> in the notes the author says this is a break from their usual omegaverse stuff

> enticing enough promise of repressed lesbianism so i read it

> finish reading with psychic damage worse than from particularly intense therapy sessions

> devastating character study through smut gets you everytime

> i scroll to comments then back up because there's another authors note

> author says their mother died a few days ago and then thanks for reading