Florence Pugh at the EE BAFTA Film Awards (2023)

How many people do you think have lezzed out in Antarctica

not enough

millions of penguins probably have

This is so true and such a good point

do you want to play substance abuse with me after work

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

i am listening to the starling outside go through his repertoire of learned songs from other birds…what have i done

oh ok

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)

why were you at mad at me island

DEPOPULATING IT

Woah mama watch out!!

“Oh boo hoo you shouldn’t ask your friends for favors we’re all adults”

I just spent three hours pulling up carpet and staples for a friend’s home renovation and we all did nothing but chat and joke and have wonderful conversation the whole time.

Helping somebody move or renovate or giving them a ride to the airport is functionally the same as going mini-golfing or playing a board game: it’s an activity that you do that is made more fun by having good company, and which provides something to talk about when the conversation lulls.

this genuinely has me in tears

(AND FUCK THEM KIDS)

A bad photoshop will always be funnier than an AI image no matter what

i was drafting a post that said “a single boba tea can replace up to two meals if you are pure of heart” and the reason i didn’t post it is because as i was typing those words i got so dizzy i felt like i was being abducted by aliens

Swiss wunk

authentic and delicious homegrown cheese now only $5.99!

So basically for this spell to work we have to get naked and rub our dicks together. Yeah for mana. so its not gay i prommy

okay but i should be able to keep whatever stuff they take out of my body. wisdom teeth? bag em up, they're mine. tumor? slide it into a jar, i grew it. can't believe my own bits get classified as "medical waste." you're wasting them, doc. i want them back.