tumblr media criticism

Pictish drip was insane. Look at this choker:

Chances are thats going to be the only thing a Pict warrior is wearing as he charges at you naked covered in blue paint and screaming with a sword in hand

Loveee that illustration on the left with the chain on. Definitely worn by the sexiest bitch above the Antonine Wall circa 400 AD.

Question. Did they really not wear clothes or was that an outsider trying to make them seem subhuman creating a fake reason? (Source: Julius Caesar making impossible shit up about at least one island in the Mediterranean and two in the Atlantic)

They wore clothes but fought naked, generally speaking. They were a people of northern Scotland and they farmed sheep so I assume they dressed warmly and in a lot of wool though depictions of their clothing are scant. They made very beautiful brooches/cloak pins. Fighting naked was an intimidation tactic practiced by many Celtic cultures. The reason Picts are usually depicted as naked and painted is because that was how they went into battle and generally speaking, that was the only time outsiders saw them.

(Detail of a Pictish brooch and a recreation of the piece available on Etsy.)

Right, like Celtic tribes were viewed as barbaric and uncivilized and uncultured for fighting naked but it was genuinely a very effective intimidation tactic, especially in the late Iron Age. Even though the Celts of Anglesey weren’t the same culture as the Picts we have descriptions from Roman sources of Roman soldiers suffering heavy casualties because they were frozen in terror and unable to move at the sight of Celtic soldiers running at them naked and screaming and seemingly without fear. Because when an armed individual runs at you in a murderous frenzy wearing only jewelry, it’s scary as fuck. And it would be in the modern day too.

Clothes would also have been incredibly valuable, and this way, none of it got ruined while fighting

Yeah, I believe there is a Roman source that says the Celts abruptly and violently removed their clothes right before going into battle (instead of like. walking there with their dick out.) so it might have also been a way of keeping their clothes from being damaged and/or keeping clothing fibers from getting in their wounds. Or it could have been a “fuck this, these are getting in my way” type instinct. Many advantages to going to battle nude in the late Iron Age. And they did carry large shields so it’s not like they had absolutely zero protection on the battlefield.

If you're not wearing armour or padding, clothes in battle are not only a risk to the clothes (which are incredibly labour-intensive to produce) but also an infection risk (a wound with dirty cloth driven into it is a bigger threat than one without). Of course throughout history most people have fought clothed regardless, but it's like, it's not a bad idea not to if the climate allows for it and you're foregoing armour.

thinking about creatures.

look at this thing

Tumblr users will see some kind of animal or beast and just slam the reblog button

That is a banded linsang.

They sit very politely.

@otiksimr

This is a banded palm civet.

They look very anxious.

No, Google Docs, there is a distinct difference between "cussing" and "cursing."

Calling google ‘googie’ is such a power move imo

Tis indeed! Thank you for this addition. Here are some photo examples of the Googie style.

IT HAS A PROPER NAME?!

posts that provide surprise knowledge, balancing out posts that provide net zero knowledge gained, what a rich ecosystem we live in

MOUSE YAOI REAL

@mousepregnant

target audience

i hope after doing nothing about bird flu some kind of alfred hitchcock scenario arises where rfk jr. is trapped in an enclosed space with many angry, sickly birds

I think we all really want to see RFK jr die of either some easily preventable illness or some equally ironic. Sick birds would be a nice one.

singing house of the rising sun at the pub last night and when the song ended the musicians just kept playing while people ad-libbed more verses about various pubs they knew

(with ominous hurdy-gurdy accompaniment): "there is a pub in walthamstow, it's called the fox and mole, but we don't go there (long pause) any more. Because the manager is an arsehole."

I think one of Pratchett's great skills in writing was being able to make silly things serious, in different ways. Like, there's a fairy godmother forcing everyone into fairystales, how fun! Except in the process, she has stopped seeing them as people. She's forcing people to live lives they don't want to because she decides that's how it has to be. Sometimes she goes so far as to violate her victim's minds and deform and puppet their bodies so they'll play their part right, and anyone who doesn't do their job gets mercilessly killed. And there's a zombie activist named Reg Shoe who buries himself every year out of solidarity for the dead, how funny! Except he is filled with a genuine passion for justice and improvement in the world, and that's why he literally refuses to die. And he buries himself on a holiday that happens to be the anniversery of his own death, and he does it next to the bodies of the friends and strangers he fought alongside, the ones who didn't get to come back, so he spends one day with them. There is still a lot of silliness in discworld, a lot that's wacky and funny, but a lot of it, when you think about it, is oddly beautiful or touching or disturbing or something else entirely.

Discworld Heritage Post

Determined to fits

The opposite of “manic pixie dream girl” is “depressed goblin nightmare man,” and, judging by this site, it’s just as attractive to some.

People have known this for decades

asbestos-free cornflakes

I actually know this one!

There's a traditional coconut farming technique in Thailand where they send monkeys into the trees to pick the coconuts. This is like a traditional centuries old thing that doesn't hurt the monkeys at all. Since Thailand is in asia, animal rights groups have been focusing on it the last few years as some kind of issue even though if a monkey doesn't want to do something there's nothing you can really do to make it do that because it's a monkey.

Nonetheless racist "animal rights" groups go around discussing it as though it's slavery or a labour rights issue. Personally I think they're being paid by people who get coconuts some other way but I can't prove anything.

Anyway, it's basically MSG again in that it catches on because of anti-asian stereotyping and none of the allegations are true or really even make sense when you look at them. Animal labour in agriculture is really well-established. That's where we get the term "horsepower". Because horses were doing the. The power. But there are no monkeys in Europe so Europeans didn't do that so it's an evil rights issue.

We domesticate animals and use them for labour. Big if true.

We domesticate

animals and use them for

labour. Big if true.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Like. As far as I can tell the monkeys in question are macaques, which... Yeah you're not getting a macaque, the monkey known primarily for attacking humans, to do anything it doesn't want to do, especially through violence. They use violence to establish dominance and that's a battle the macaque will always win. This npr article says every couple of trees the monkeys get inspected for ants and a little massage, and every other link in the search I did was from PETA, so. Yeah pretty sure the monkeys are fine.

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

Don’t tell me delayed orgasms aren’t a thing

learning new things about the german rail system today

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

looking at that one booktok post and didn’t realize how funny this is. uou do not know what a safe word is

some highlights from the notes

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

Happy 2 year anniversary to the post that my old boss allegedly now has framed in his office, next to the recovered photo of his children.