This gem was left in a comment section on a post I was interacting with. I think it nails down Azriel’s character 100%. It’s just wild to ask “If Azriel only wants a mate, then why is he going after Elain when she already has a mate?” as if digging a little deeper into his character won’t give you the obvious answer.
“His belief that Elain is the key to replicating his brothers' happiness stems from his childhood trauma. The severe abandonment and brutal abuse he suffered has haunted him his entire existence. He's watching his brothers build lives with their mates and his loneliness is crippling. He says he's just as evil/bad as the Asteri. He probably hates torturing people but will do whatever to serve his court in order to be useful, no matter the cost to himself. He has no regard for his safety or his life. He has no idea what real love is. He does not believe anyone can look at all of him, see all he has done and love him. I can't wait for his healing journey. I know it will be raw and painful but beautiful.”
Let’s unpack a little:
- He sees Elain as the obvious choice. She’s the third sister, he’s the third brother. It fits. She’s beautiful. She seems to be attracted to him as well, so he wonders why she wasn’t given to him. He sees how his brothers have made a life and found hapiness with their mates, and he thinks getting one of his own will fix the loneliness he’s feeling right now. He thinks a mate will make him deserving of good things, as if self worth could come from somewhere outside of himself. Elain is just a fixation, the solution to his problem. But even in his head, he can’t tell us a single thing he likes about Elain and her character, other than her beauty. He cannot tell us if he loves her or why. It’s not even about him not planning beyond the lusty thoughts of Elain, it’s that he cannot explain why he likes her; and Rhys saw right through it. It was never love, just an unhealthy obssession, like the Tylenol powder.
- All he knows is abandonement, so in his own mind there must be something wrong with him and that’s why no one ever wanted him. He believes he’s not worthy of anything, so he fixes his attention on women who are unavailable to bypass the inevitable rejection he “knows” is coming. It’s easier like this.
- His hero complex comes into play here too. He’s the one always throwing himself head first into danger to make the people around him need him so he can feel useful, loved, and like he belongs. Elain’s rescue might have given him the idea that he’s meant to over protect Elain. And by protecting Elain and attaching himself to her, he now fits into the 3 brothers/3 sisters theory he has in his head.
- He has no idea what true love is. He has never experienced it…he never let anyone in, not even his brothers. Yes, they grew up together and all, but all of them always remark how closed off Azriel is, and no one has ever made him talk about his true feelings just because “he doesn’t want to”. With Elain, it’s the same. They talk about nothing important (when they do talk), but nothing in depth. It’s easy, comfortable, he doesn’t have to dig deep and it mantains his status quo. But sadly, this isn’t how Sarah writes her endgame couples.
Azriel’s healing journey must be uncomfortable for him. He won’t heal from his traumas unless he deals with all these issues head on, ripping off the bandaid. And his relationship with Elain isn’t pointing in this direction.
His journey is taking him on another path, dealing with his past, his feelings, his family, his heritage, his place in the IC. It will be rough, difficult and raw…but that’s what will make it even more beautiful indeed.
