thinking about the clinic patient who kept visiting her ex husband in her sleep and having sex with him. thinking about sexsomnia in the hilson dynamic while they’re living together after julie

if it was house: wilson wouldn’t know, obviously. but he’s nursing a divorce and would assume it’s some kind of cruel joke. he wouldn’t let him in the first time. the second time he would probably get angry, assuming he’s definitely drunk and/or being an asshole on purpose. both times he wouldn’t ask about it in the morning. the third time around, he would let him in. he would think oh well if it’s happened this many times he must be serious. and he would convince himself it’s not gay because it’s just a guy helping out his bro. he’s not sure which way the help goes. regardless, they “have sex”. it’s lazy frotting and grinding, no kissing (house tries, but wilson doesn’t let him), no penetration. further evidence for wilson to suggest to his mind that it wasn’t gay. in the morning he asks about it. and house has no idea what he’s talking about. and now they’re both freaking out because they think something is wrong with one of them, or it’s some elaborate prank. the fourth time, wilson stops him at the door again. he does like a full drug/alcohol check before letting him in. but he lets him in. and wilson bites his neck to make sure it’s real. in the morning, wilson sees house and goes “aha! it is real! look!” and house sees the mark on his neck and is absolutely mortified because he immediately recognizes that he’s been having sleepsomnia episodes. he apologizes softly and leaves the apartment, not even pausing to think that maybe if wilson was letting him in, that meant he actually did want it. now wilson is confused and frustrated. angst ensues.

if it was wilson: house would give him that wide-eyed puppy dog “seriously?” expecting the bone to be yanked away from him. but wilson would sidle into bed with him and nuzzle his nose into house’s neck. he would be sickeningly sweet, kissing his face and touching him gently. house would welcome it, and he would cum in his pants. he wouldn’t mention it EVER. it would just keep happening. eventually house would figure out what was going on. he would start flinching at wilson’s touch during the day. he would lock his door at night. he would cry and shiver and jerk off, thinking about how none of it was really real. and he would try to set wilson up with women so he would stop trying to get into his room. not that he doesn’t want to have sex, but it hurts too much. the realization that they are both using each other and wilson doesn’t even know. and of course the urge to just keep letting it happen tugs at him. and of course he doesn’t shut it down the first couple times. but at some point it becomes too much like living in a dream. he’s so disconnected from waking reality, he can’t let it continue. his mind is too scrambled to think that maybe there’s a reason wilson keeps going to his room. the fact that he is the desired one, not just the subconscious mind’s need for sexual contact, doesn’t even cross his mind. angst ensues.

it’s cold outside (means it’s time for a house rewatch)

another thing I will never tire of thinking about is that despite anything anyone on the show says house is inarguably better at relationships than wilson is. his relationship with stacy is batshit crazy but it’s more sustainable than wilson and his wives because they actually know each other. house has all of her tells and she knows he’s insane. when he lets it slip that he stole her psych’s notes she’s appalled but not shocked. it’s a thing they move past, and crazy easily. Wilson’s wives don’t really know him and house knows them better as actual people than wilson does for all his disdain and not actually being the one in relationships with them. Wilson’s one other “friend” we see plays him into donating an organ. oh wait he does have one more other friend and it’s STACY. that’s it. house has regular poker nights with multiple people. when he’s cut off from wilson he’s not actually all alone as he believes he would be he develops other friendships (lucas, Lin Manuel Miranda). yes they’re not as deep but it’s still a stark contrast to wilson who’s never shown to find a house substitute. then we have house’s fellows who all have insane relationships with him crossing professional boundaries. it’s not colleagues it’s a family gathering and we don’t choose our family we’re just stuck with them except house chose all of them and he bred this environment. and Wilson is famously NOT followed by an army of obsessed minions at work he is hanging out with house’s obsessed minions because they’re house’s proxy. do you see what I’m getting at. Wilson’s social life might be rich or whatever but it is superficial with the exception of amber, cuddy (who loses to house), and a constant that is house. house might claim that he doesn’t care about people but he has a wide web of genuinely personal not surface-level relationships. but well in the end. they all lose to wilson too :)

house md // how far we've come

WIP........

Good Boy's get head... pats <3

i love you amber volakis

From a poetry collection by Mary Oliver, where after a hundred poems showcasing gentle observations on nature and animals, she hits you with this:

April fools I drew them as people lol

Joining the "House md but furry" camp House would be a stinky yote

House MD sketch scraps

your conscience bleeds more freely than my head.

*the ducklings walk in on house and wilson making out in house’s office*

chase: aur naur, we’ve interrupted- CRIKEY IS THAT WILSON?!?

cameron: wait… house slept with… or i guess is sleeping with?? a MAN???

foreman: which one of them do u think is the bottom

Transportation

Okay but I love pictures of animals carrying their babies in slightly precarious looking ways, and the baby looks mildly concerned or displeased

so the thing is, amber and chase are more similar characters than they’re usually given credit for. the show, and chase, seem to realize this. chase can often be quite sneaky and manipulative in his way — he’s less overt than amber and has more of a catch flies with honey approach: where she’s aggressive and overt he tends to be smarmy and surface level charismatic, and there’s definitely something also to be said about how chase can get away with being smarmy, as a man, where amber is full of performative femininity (always in pearls and soft cardigans) but is dismissed as a bitch.

chase is often accused of being fake, of not caring: while we know this isn’t true and he cares intensely, it is also very much the attitude he projects. even when he is not chatting up a patient and oozing false charm, he is blatantly self serving; he pointedly betrays house to vogler to save his job, and even though he never does that again, even in s3 he is fairly unapologetic. contrast amber’s aggressive version of manipulation, her overt ambition and do-what-it takes attitude: she is also, often, accused of not caring, but in her case (and i’d argue in chase’s), her apathy and ruthlessness are performative: she cares almost too much, enough that she can’t stand to lose or be hurt.

and. again. for real. something about how chase is called insincere and an assisted but is basically liked. how amber is hated and made fun of for doing very similar things, but as a woman. but aggressively. he is performatively charming; she is performatively cold and cruel. chase hides who he is with ass kissing and jokes; she hides herself with bluster and aggression.

interestingly, chase very much seems to recognize and appreciate amber for this. in 97 seconds, he succinctly calls her out for trying to manipulate him (with a smart, if misguided, appeal to his desire for revenge); she admits it and he agrees to help her, refusing to apologize or back down when house later is angry at him for it. amber is also one of the candidates chase chooses when house asks him who he would hire; chase is the only one to drop amber’s name. she’ll get things done, he tells house: chase is also rather ruthless. rather pragmatic. in their interaction, he is blunt with her (itself an interesting change — chase is more assertive in s4 than previously, and is less prone to hiding behind smarm, but amber is the first time we really see it), but he does not insult her. he calls her out on her game.

although s5 amber isn’t amber, is just a hallucination version of her, it is interesting that she ends up being tied to chase again by trying to kill him — again, it really isn’t her and the real amber wouldn’t do that. but they are more alike than they’re given credit for. i think they respected one another. i think they undrerstood one another, not as friends, but as people who feel like they need to manipulate and lie to earn respect.

could also say some really interesting things about amber’s ‘i thought i had to choose between being respected and being loved” re chase, who i think very easily might also say that, except — just like amber — he never quite earns respect despite his manipulative attempts at winning it.

hilson is so funny because if you stuck house in a time loop wilson would ask him “ wait … are you stuck in a time loop ?? “ after house stretched out on his office couch and spoke in riddles for a minute or two but if you stuck wilson in a time loop house would fuck around and do some insane shit after wilson told him and be annoyed that wilson knew the outcome every time

headcanons about dating james wilson <3