problems are mounting.. it is time to solve everything at once

oh boy i sure do love having tons of trinkets

the nefarious dust particle:

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

if you post from the heart you will get a Like.. maybe two

i like that we see ^_^ as a smile even though its mouth is totally straight. Its happiness is so radiant it need not smile to let us know!

my epic dwindling lifespan

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

people have been saying squidward on this all day but this is the first one that made me laugh

have you ever shipped something so hard that you become irrationally happy and make a sound akin to steam escaping from a kettle everytime they so much as stand next to eachother

[grandma voice] back in my day, sonny, we called it “squeeing”.

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

VAGINA!!!!

Being insane but cognitively aware of how insane you are is a special kind of hell because you know that you aren't normal and you can pinpoint the behaviors that label you as other and make people kinda go quiet and twitchy around you but you can't change them or your neurosis so you're stuck in a brutal cycle of trying to emulate normal people and failing horribly cus you know in theory how normal people look and act but in practice you can never change what you are and everyone else knows it too and this goes on forever until you die

being abused or neglected really makes it clear how many things are skills that nobody really treats as. skills. exercising autonomy is a skill. listening to your body is a skill. resting is a skill. being liked and being loved are skills. nobody tells you how to do this shit because nobody even told me I was supposed to have learnt these things when I was a kid. I kind of just have to manually figure out what makes me freak out and work from there. unfair as shit

Currently doing an Insomniac's Gambit. For those of you who don't know, this is when you mess up your sleep schedule badly enough that you attempt to fix it by skipping an entire night of sleep then going to bed at a reasonable hour the next day. Crucially, it does not work