The Muppet Joker and Strange Æons having an official meetup/showdown scheduled in the ball pit of Dash Con 2 is like Infinity War for people who are chronically online in an incredibly specific way

Her Highness Has Arrived

Another very special guest.

Hi all,

We are so, SO excited to share this special guest announcement. If you’ve watched Strange Aeons’DashCon: An Extensive Oral History video—if you haven’t, how did you end up here?—then you know her already.

Introducing, Lochlan O’Neil!

Lochlan, or Nessie as she goes by online, is DashCon’s original creator. The mythical fifteen-year-old that started it all. DashCon expanded out from under her beyond her wildest dreams (and nightmares), but we are so excited to show her what our team can do in her stead.

Also referred to as ‘The Ballpit Queen’, Lochlan came up with the original idea for having a ball pit at the con after watching a YouTube video where strangers befriend one another in an outdoor ball pit. Obviously, the final product was not supposed to be Like That (sorry). Nowadays, she channels her energy into raccoon biology, studying human-raccoon interaction and the conservation of the critically endangered Cozumel raccoon.

Apparently Toronto is the racoon diabetes capital of the world?? As such, Lochlan is absolutely giddy to visit. This explains a lot about the attacks on our green bins.

You can find her @lochnessofficial on TikTok and @racoonmilf on Tumblr.

Wait - do YOU want to learn about raccoon biology?

Calling all rabiosexuals: Lochlan is hosting her very own panel at DashCon 2! Enter the trash panda extravaganza at her panel, Rabid, AND Loving! Intro to All Things Racoon. Despite their bandit-like appearance, raccoons are truly wonderful creatures, and we have so much to learn from them!

We wanted to bring a live raccoon to the facilities to participate, but there are these annoying things called “laws” we have to follow. Truly a shame.

A Note On DashProm

For the unaware, the original DashCon held a massive dance party on the first night of the con, themed around prom. We can confirm that DashCon 2 will be having a dance party! However, the theme will be very different... and you can probably guess it; we’ve given you the clues in this post :) Theme confirmation will be coming next week!

Volunteer Applications: Still Open!

Would you like to be involved with DashCon 2? Are you a local who didn’t manage to snag tickets? Do you want to keep vigil over the ball pit? Volunteering is the best way to get involved with the in-person DashCon 2 convention! You can apply now through this form, or learn more on our website!

All regular volunteers will be assigned to at least one 4-hour shift between 7 AM and 11:30 PM on July 5th, 2025. This shift includes one 15-minute break, which will be taken at the Volunteer and their Team Leader’s discretion. Volunteers must work for at least 4 hours to receive a ticket for the convention.

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

date of origin: 2015

Official graveyard post

my day job is at a college, and this morning my boss was like "go collect all the suggestion slips from our suggestion boxes around the school and create a document and a spreadsheet outlining the needs of the student body."

Ok cool very easy! fun, even!

there were two. two suggestions.

"spring fling should be steampunk themed :3 I'd like to see more pipes and gears with no discernible function"

and

"free food. starbocks. privitized resturaunts."

I can't wait to turn in my 1/8th page report with "pipes and gears with no discernible function" and three out of five words misspelled on it. the students have spoken, boss; such are the needs of the student body.

Report complete I'm off to grab lunch at a privitized resturaunt

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.

And some highlights from the notes:

Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

Me when I'm a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats

OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME

You know what you are so right... We have a bond, these 50 rats and I....

OH SHIT OH NO

WAIT

I CAN'T FEED THIS MANY RATS

Oh wait I'm a fuckin wizard lol

Yay :) Enough treats for everyone :)

Happy rat day to my most popular post ever

you! the person reading this! please tell me one good thing that happened to you today

the best kind of ships are the ones that have something aromantic going on

Ghosts that should exist soon if not already

Finally someone gets it. Yes, taxi ghosts are already a thing. But! Their stories tend to be that they get into the cab and ride it a fair distance before disamappearing. This flavor only approaches your car and asks the question without actually getting in.

#i mean the boring answer is that many people go to college here and experience the epic highs and lows of being late teens early 20s. #the less boring answer is it's the molasses curse ( @burins)

Official Post of Massachusetts

evolution dysphoria

Having community helps

found a ballpoint pen brush i rlly like so i drew these bozos :3

also soz my art always looks different, still figuring this style stuff out :P

Dehumanizing bigots is bad, not because I want to be nice to them, but because they are human beings and they serve as a reminder that anyone is capable of evil ideation and action. Violent bigots are not fundamentally different beings from you. They are human beings, who have developed a reactionary and destructive belief system due to their circumstances combined with their biases. In a different timeline, that could've been you. Anyone can be radicalized. Nobody is immune to propaganda, not even the person reading this.

being mutuals is like we’ve never talked but i saw your vent post and do you want me to kill that person for you. still won’t talk to you tho bc that is scary sorry. love you

[trying to insult a person's dog-like devotion to someone but not wanting to make them sound too cool about it] keep your fucking dog in a purse