I wear loud dangly belt chains and accessories for the same reason some people put a bell around their cat's neck. Doesn't keep me from decimating the local bird population but trains me to be more stealthy about it. And if they ever come off it's like Rock Lee's ankle weights - good luck having any idea where the fuck I am at any given time.

The people who say shit like "I don't dream about labour" when asked about their dream job make me sad. It's not their fault and it's an obvious conclusion to come to in the environment that we live in, but they really do seem to make no difference between work, and being exploited. You do want to work, it is inherent human nature to want to do things, you just don't want to slave for shit wages while making profit for someone else.

If art wasn't an option and I didn't have to worry about being profitable, I know what I would be doing: Keep a little shop selling secondhand-thirdhand buttons and buckles.

Thrift shops and secondhand stores could dump (or sell, whatever) their unsold and unwanted goods to me, and I could spend all day going through the heaps and picking them apart, plucking the still-perfectly-good buttons, zippers and buckles out of discarded things with threadbare fabrics and sell them.

Probably also making those little trinket storage boxes out of hollowed-out books. By hollowing out books that nobody wanted or read.

"I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy" nah fuck that I would. Actually if I could choose to have any superpower, I'd want the power to make people feel whatever I've felt at any point of my life, at my choice. Someone mildly inconveniences me, I'm letting them have 30 minutes of being five years old and trying to learn how to cry silently because you know nobody's coming to help you and if someone hears you, they're coming to make it worse. Fuck you and your eyebrows.

finding solace 🌼

Autumn axolotl 🍂

I just know that the dudes who make those "girls get 500 compliments a day vs. guy gets one compliment once and cherishes it for the rest of his life" memes put zero effort into their appearance. Like what exactly do you expect people to say? Wow nice plain ill-fitting hoodie, goes great with your basic-ass blue jeans and nondescript haircut. Got some real cool Grey Man vibes going on, you could seamlessly blend into any crowd ever without being seen at all.

Like nobody has any obligation to look any certain way, but you can't expect to be praised for doing something you're not even trying to do. I dress like I got tarred and feathered in a Tim Burton film costume department discard scrap pile, and someone saying they like my style is a biweekly occurrence.

hey bestie i heard your 1850s doctor diagnosed you with hysteria and i’m here to help

you are invited to their party!

this is a part 2 of this | tw: stalking, voyeurism, baby trapping, pervy simon!

stalker simon! who went home with you that night, ripping off your dress the moment the two of you made it through the door. you didn't seem to question how he knew exactly which way your bedroom was or where you kept your toys, you were just too consumed by your lust for the mysterious and sexy stranger man before you.

stalker simon! who pulled orgasm after orgasm from you that night, your lips set in an almost permanent o and cunt covered in a glistening sheen of your juices. he watched your face scrunch up at every thrust to your cervix and your tits jiggle with every pump, savouring the close ups. No picture or grainy hidden camera footage had anything on this, the sight of you fucked out right beneath him was a gift granted to him by god for all the suffering he'd had to endure, he was sure of it.

stalker simon! who'd practically milked himself dry that night, filling and stuffing your poor cunny with his fat cock and milky cum. Every thrust of his cock was met with your background vocals, mewling and pleading for more. And who was he to deny you your pleasure? He savoured every sound that fell from your lips and every arch of your back, fucking in and out of you till his dick was practically chafing, he didn't want it to end.. and it never would as long as he had anything to say.

stalker simon! who always had a trick up his sleeve, a sneaky cunning little plan. He was oh so happy he’d replaced all your birth control with placebos a couple of weeks back, his plan being setting in motion long ago. he'd planned on perhaps a less intimate and direct approach... but who was he to say no when you'd been served on a platter, clad in a too-short dress right for him to eat. he knew pumping you full of his sticky semen tonight was bound to take, he was a very virile man after all.

stalker simon! who didn't end up staying the night, even if he wanted to. he needed to create a bit of mystery a bit of angst for his plan to work... and he could watch you, pants down from the comfort of his room anyways.

stalker simon! who went home long before you awoke, watched the tapes of you two fucking making love and fisted his cock at the sight. he filed and encrypted them for only his (and his equally filthy friends) eyes to see.

stalker simon! who a couple weeks later watched you, on the bathroom cameras, as you took the test. Positive.

stalker simon! who knew it was time to step up and be a daddy, to the two of you. there was no way you'd be getting rid of him now, never getting out of his tightly wound clutches and sharp jaws.

stalker simon! who accidentally bumped into you at the pharmacy and acted oh so surprised when you told him the news...

taglist: @popppylove @marimoares @havoc973 @jmivenus @rerejunebug @helichopter @bakedpotato12 @viscade @vanillarosekiss @punkkture

stalker! simon who saw you on your way home from work one day and hadn't stopped following you since. he lurks in the bushes on your morning runs, tails you at the supermarket (he just wants to know what your favourite chocolate is duh!), he ogles you at the local pool in your skimpy, little bikinis and even tracks your cycle (thats what a good boyfriend does duh!).

stalker! simon who saw you as his girlfriend since that very first day he'd spotted you and would beat any man who attempted to talk to you, to an absolute pulp. he had permanent scuffs and scratches on his knuckles, but there was nothinh he wouldn't do to protect his girl. nothing.

stalker! simon who knows your routine off by heart, meaning he's never too far behind you. in the mornings he's following you to work, in the afternoons catching glimpses of you having lunch with your coworkers (it drives him absolutely wild, he hates how your male coworkers drool and fawn over you. thats his job. only his.), in the evenings he watches you through your window as you lounge half naked on the sofa with one hand stuffed down your shorts and the other pinching your tit.

stalker! simon who moved in accross the block to make sure you're okay at all times of the day, or so he tells himself (the fact he could watch you at any time of day and he was so close that he could sneak in whenever was just an added bonus). he was around you so often, that this was the most logical next step.

stalker! simon who made it a habit to sneak in when you were sleeping, almost every night (the man just wanted some close up pictures of you, what can he say). he'd stolen a few panties on his visits, even replaced your old dildo with a replica of his own cock too (good boyfriend duties duh!).

stalker! simon who had hundreds and hundreds of pictures of you, some from afar and some from close up, some taken through your window and others while you were out and about. but his favourites were from inside your apartment, thos etaken when your guard was down and you looked seren as ever, absolutely clueless to the man inside your apartment.

stalker! simon who cherished the close up he'd taken of your puffy cunt, still leaking with your juices most. he'd caught you using the cock replica he'd oh so kindly gifted you, on the cameras he'd oh so kindly installed in your apartemnt, and watched you knock out quickly after orgasming. so what was a man to do excpet claim his prize (because you had essentailly came on his cock...). he even carried a print out of it in his wallet, rutting away to it in public bathrooms, alleyways and his car.

stalker! simon who tailed you like clockwork, monday evening was hot yoga, friday night laundry and saturday was either clubbing with your girlfriends or watching reality tv in bed... in your underwear and with a vibrator close by (saturday nights in were indeed his favourite).

stalker! simon who despised crowds and roudy drunks, but followed you to the club nontheless. he was an obedioent mut after all, desperate to be near his owner. he'd watch you dance in your barely there dresses, grinding your perky ass on other men and it made him furious and... painfully hard. the sight of your hips swaying to the music, head thrown back with your neck exposed and plush lips mouthing along to the lyrics lit a fire in his core each and every time and left him with a painful boner pleading with pre to be released from the confines of his boxers.

stalker! simon who'd scurry away to the bathroom stalls and pump his thick cock to the thought of you. he'd whimper and whine your name and cum more each and every time you went out. it was as though the longer he was around you and the closer in proximity you were, the hornier he got and the more out of control.

stalker! simon who'd pledged to never actually approach you, he knew he wasn't the right man for you and enjoyed the adrenaline courising through his veins on his nightly break ins, but he just could'nt help himslef any longer. so he slipped his flushed cock back into his boxers and made his way to the dance floor, slipping his arms arund your waist and mouth finding latching on to your neck....

something about stalker! simon drives me absolutely wild.. ALSO been thinking of making a tag list, pls let me know if you'd maybe be interested in being added to it <333

like how dare I have hobbies, right?

Once you start thinking about humans as a species in a biome, it affects your entire way of looking at normal things.

The other day I referred to female morning joggers as an 'indicator species' in that if you see women jogging in the dark it means that the environment provides migration pathways (sidewalks, clear signs) and doesn't have any known predators of female morning joggers (guy with knife, bear, BigTruck, male morning joggers).

Though, I think that people consider framing humans as animals reacting to their environment as rude.

Hey you all know about that fungus that possesses ants to make them climb on the tip of grass blades in hopes of getting eaten by a cow, so that the fungus can continue its life cycle in the cow's guts? Because I think that's the kind of thing that's wrong with cave divers.

We don't know what's down there. We don't know what's gotten into their heads that makes them so determined to physically, personally go down there to find out. But I wouldn't entirely dismiss the possibility that whatever has gotten into them is very invested in getting eaten by whatever is down there.

@catscraftsandcommentary @help-help-i-need-an-adult @0dde11eth @fandom-junk-drawer @thequeeninyellowlace @awitcheress