Avatar

hjalp meh

@ineedhjalp / ineedhjalp.tumblr.com

currently mourning dead boy detectives

intro!!

hi!!!!!!!!!

I’m INeedHjalp, but you can call me Adele or Hjalp.

I’m a 22 year old currently finishing up my Master’s in Elizabethan literature. I graduated from Middlebury College in Vermont on a partial scholarship and am working through a TON of student debt. I’m from Colorado, in El Paso County. I’m trying to become a screen actor but right now I’m working at a local ice cream place.

My favorite things are Shakespeare (particularly M*cbeth), Hozier, Columbo, and my current hyperfixation, Dead Boy Detectives. (FUCK YOU NETFLIX!!!!!!)

Depending on when it crosses my dash, I also reboot stuff from NBC Hannibal, Good Omens, Doctor Who, or some of my old fandoms like Magnus Chase or Night At the Museum.

I’m queer! I’m some flavor of bisexual and biromantic, but I’m also on the aroace spectrum. (I might be demi, I think?) I’m also on the nonbinary spectrum (I’m a guy. But I’m also a girl. It’s complicated).

My preferred pronouns are she/her, though I’m fine with anything, really.

Some of my LOVELY mutuals are @flowers-of-anise, @thequeerforest, @gayoticbeing, @homoquartz, @hooliganhiccups @judeisunsure, @ineffablefood, @understand-some-thing-some-time, @that-one-greml1n, @lunarsolar1, @mirellapryce, and @andiv3r. (I’m forgetting SO MANY PEOPLE. If you are a moot and see this post and you aren’t included, PLEASE reach out. I’m quite forgetful.

I have undiagnosed ADHD. I would go to the doctor, but Money.

My tags:

#ineedhjalp — my tag for posts I make myself.

#hjalp lives — personal posts

#hjalp writes — my fics (check out my new dbda multichap!

#hjalp draws — nothing on here yet!!!!! I do do art though.

#hjalp answers — my asks! PLEASE ask me things!!

I do a LOT or reblogging. A LOT. You have been warned. It’s 99% reblogs on this blog, folks.

As of this moment, I have 2,823 Dead Boy Detectives photos saved to my camera roll.

I support queer people and their rights. I support intersex people and their rights. I support disabled & chronically ill people and their rights. I support women’s rights.

I DO NOT condone Neil Gaiman’s disgusting behavior. He’s dead to me.

I do not condone racism or sexism of any kind.

I don’t get the hate towards furries and therians. While I’m not one myself, bullying is never ok and people should just live their lives.

Trans women are women and trans men are men. Fuck the TERFs!

I will be voting for Kamala Harris in November. KEEP TRUMP AND THE CONSERVATIVES OUT OF OFFICE!!!!!!

FREE PALESTINE!!!! 🇵🇸

Avatar
Reblogged

At the function zoning out thinking about isopods daydreaming about being an isopod

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

Avatar
Reblogged

Some of you aren't keeping the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul and it really shows

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but i’m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

“why do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?” -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

“why do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?” -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. “PLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIES” (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i don’t think it really hammered home until i said “okay everyone gets ONE cookie, that’s fair, right?” and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasn’t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit 🥺

got briefly distracted (…for over half an hour…) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but it’s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tiny……….

the class went well and they asked if i wanted to do another one in a couple weeks and i said yeah, and they’re taking uh… fuck, what’s the word for inventory when it’s people?? attendance?? whatever, they’re trying to see who’s interested to get a feel of if it’d be 1 three hour class again or if there’s too many kids so we’d do a couple classes. anyways, i love the emails from Concerned Parents.

“will there be knives involved?” we are baking cookies.

“what temperatures does the oven get to/will it be hot enough to burn?” we are baking cookies.

“will there be [insert ingredient used in cookies]?” we are baking cookies.

“are you using fahrenheit or celsius?” ??????? d-does it matter?? it’s going to get Hot. (also celsius; this is ontario)

“are the ovens childproof?” no?? i’m assuming you’re asking if i’m going to let your kids reach into the ovens while i’m staring out a window in another room. i will not be allowing your children to use the ovens. they will not be left unattended. 

“why is the library baking class taking place at the high school?” the library does not have 10 ovens. the library does not even have 1 oven. the high school has many ovens.

“what if i don’t want my child to have cookies? can you let her make muffins instead?” this is a baking class for cookies. we are baking cookies.

“cookies aren’t healthy. why don’t you make [insert whatever]” do you know how many cookies i can make with a $40 budget and a trip to the bulk store? we are making cookies.

“who needs a class to bake a cookie, why not teach something more valuable?” IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE COOKIES, KAREN, IT’S ABOUT FAMILIARIZING CHILDREN WITH THE ART AND SCIENCE OF BAKING/COOKING/FOOD, ABOUT TRYING NEW THINGS, MAKING MISTAKES AND REALIZING THAT THE MISTAKES ARE NOT ONLY OKAY TO MAKE BUT VALUABLE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, FAMILIARIZING THEM WITH INDEPENDENCE, THE UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS CAN COME TOGETHER TO FORM A NEW AND BETTER WHOLE, ALL WHILE HAVING TRYING TO INJECT A MODICUM OF JOY INTO THEIR LITTLE LIVES. SORRY THAT THERE ARE CONCEPTS AT PLAY YOU CAN’T SEEN TO UNDERSTAND HERE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD COME JOIN AND I’LL LET YOU MAKE A FUCKING COOKIE.

I think Edwin loves Charles' optimism. I think for all he feels a little rejected when Charles says he hates being dead, Charles' zest for life and love for the world grounds Edwin in a way he wouldn't be able to ground himself. He made it out of hell and into a world that was completely unfamiliar, and it would have been so easy for him to close it off completely, but instead he was reintroduced to it by someone with a genuine love and passion for life, someone who was excited about the music scene and passionate about food and wanted to show him what he'd missed.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.