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Who Up Interviewing Their Vampire?

@ipad-baby-armand

23
She/they
Filled with dirt
So so so normal about vampires (lying)

after watching episode 5 i'm starting to wonder if it wasn't the 'rebound of my life' comment that set louis off but rather

subconsciously reminding him a little too much of

10 absolutely unhinged things Armand has done

  • dressed up as a slutty version of his real life employee
  • Let his husband "suck him off" in front of his ex-boyfriend
  • Potentially posed as his ex boyfriend's ex wife
  • Had an aerobic evening in the back row of a movie theater with a father and a son
  • Wrote sexy fanfiction in his head about himself with his husband's ex husband then told it to his reporter ex boyfriend
  • told Louis his fictional week-long fling with Lestat was the same as their 30-year-long marriage
  • Quoted Shakespeare just to be made fun of by his boyfriend via his boyfriend's dead husband's hallucination
  • Tortured a bright young reporter so he would teach him how to be fascinating
  • Took a full grown Magnolia tree with him when he got kicked out of his ex husband's apartment
  • is an iPad baby despite being 514 years old

Daniel Molloy is so funny because in the present he’s like yeah fine I met you at a gay bar. But that’s because it was the only place to get drugs. And then you see the flashback to the 70s and he’s like oh you want to come back to my house and be interviewed? and I assume you’ll want to fuck me btw? In exchange for the drugs of course. No? Okay well let me know if you change your mind. And then when it all goes to shit and he’s being tortured for five days he’s like damn. Would love to get out of this. Maybe by sucking a dick? The closet isn’t so much glass as it is the unreliable memory of glass.

Messy messy sex between Daniel and Armand after a hunt where one or both of them are covered in blood while they fuck nasty style and the bed looks like a crime scene after (they have got to go through a concerning amount of sheets)

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armand seeing daniel coated in blood from a victim for the first time & his pupils blowing out before launching at daniel n dragging him home to soak the sheets in blood

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