Jaycub Simin

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

additions from the og artist (credit)

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

Rebirth 🐝

I know I’ve featured this scene on the Nazi Punch of the Day, but this version seemed particularly timely given the ongoing attacks on education.

no no no

obsessed with this

reaction image potential

The “How could you?!” in that little face is audible

oh ok

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

a rouge pipe cleaner.... escaped from the craft supplies

worm off the string

@onenicebugperday

@otiksimr

No one owes artists anything.

But existence is lonely and sometime you throw hours and hours of effort into a void, on the slim chance it will say something back.

I'm amused at the ones which finally took him out

*stabs julius caesar in the back* you're bleeding because you don't floss

Y'all help

Uh oh

Wat tf does this mean?????

Wait you haven’t heard of the pop tart incident? Hold on- here

(Yes I know it’s a secondary article- the original tweet was deleted but this entire incident is recounted in “Liftoff: Elon Musk and the Desperate Early Days That Launched SpaceX”)

Anyway yeah, like always: Don’t worry, you couldn’t possibly do worse than Musk!

ok well I knew not to do that at least but who the fuck toasts a pop tart

no they're tarts u pop out of the package, obviously

& I'm sry u have wrong opinions. We all have room to grow I suppose

from the official poptarts website (poptarts.com):

from the wikipedia page on poptarts:

how the fuck have you not used a toaster before oh 4% of poll responders

no real reason to

delicious warm buttered toast????????

I prefer my bread raw

ahh yes, let me put my bread in the microwave and warm it up and then slather butter on it, i just love eating raw bread

no

no microwave

I mean RAW

Sometimes, I am forced to learn things against my will about people I have known for years

use the stove????

like i’ve never used a toaster

Stove or microwave

I literally just used my toaster today after considering not using it today

glad I could help?????

okay so like.

not using a toaster is weird, but I get it. you don't always need to toast something. I barely use toasters myself, I get it.

now. who the FUCK uses the STOVETOP in place of a toaster???? that is more dangerous and less effective for almost every single case. not needing to hold your fucking sliced bread above an open flame to make it crispy is literally what the toaster is for?????? @amethyst-aster please explain. it makes no sense

secondarily, WHO IN THE GODDAMN HELL MICROWAVES BREAD??? @theboredvoid where the FUCK did you get the idea to microwave bread??? do you microwave bread??? why??? what the fuck?????

what do you mean “more dangerous”???

sure, it sticks to the pan despite the amount of pam spray that attempts to prevent it

But it works every single time

butter your toast and put it in the pan

microwaving bread just makes it soggy and less “breadlike”

Wait i’m sorry what kind of fucking stove do you have where you stand there with tongs over an open flame holding a slice of bread???

There are pans

indoors

That make things crispy because that’s what pans are for

Also microwaving bread to defrost it for the time it takes without going overboard to fucking melt the bread is the second way to do it

I just don’t because the bread doesn’t become crispy

wh-

wut do u mean defrost

r u toasting ur bread directly out of the freezer???

no come on. Don't b shy

Frozen bread lasts longer, but takes time to defrost. And sometimes you want a sandwich RIGHT NOW.

So what do you do?

Toaster.

It will defrost the bread fast.

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

no one tell him

And it’s back

In the back. 

And the front.

And the sides…

Y'all help

Uh oh

Wat tf does this mean?????

Wait you haven’t heard of the pop tart incident? Hold on- here

(Yes I know it’s a secondary article- the original tweet was deleted but this entire incident is recounted in “Liftoff: Elon Musk and the Desperate Early Days That Launched SpaceX”)

Anyway yeah, like always: Don’t worry, you couldn’t possibly do worse than Musk!

ok well I knew not to do that at least but who the fuck toasts a pop tart

no they're tarts u pop out of the package, obviously

& I'm sry u have wrong opinions. We all have room to grow I suppose

from the official poptarts website (poptarts.com):

from the wikipedia page on poptarts:

how the fuck have you not used a toaster before oh 4% of poll responders

no real reason to

delicious warm buttered toast????????

I prefer my bread raw

ahh yes, let me put my bread in the microwave and warm it up and then slather butter on it, i just love eating raw bread

no

no microwave

I mean RAW

Sometimes, I am forced to learn things against my will about people I have known for years

use the stove????

like i’ve never used a toaster

Stove or microwave

I literally just used my toaster today after considering not using it today

glad I could help?????

okay so like.

not using a toaster is weird, but I get it. you don't always need to toast something. I barely use toasters myself, I get it.

now. who the FUCK uses the STOVETOP in place of a toaster???? that is more dangerous and less effective for almost every single case. not needing to hold your fucking sliced bread above an open flame to make it crispy is literally what the toaster is for?????? @amethyst-aster please explain. it makes no sense

secondarily, WHO IN THE GODDAMN HELL MICROWAVES BREAD??? @theboredvoid where the FUCK did you get the idea to microwave bread??? do you microwave bread??? why??? what the fuck?????

what do you mean “more dangerous”???

sure, it sticks to the pan despite the amount of pam spray that attempts to prevent it

But it works every single time

butter your toast and put it in the pan

microwaving bread just makes it soggy and less “breadlike”

Wait i’m sorry what kind of fucking stove do you have where you stand there with tongs over an open flame holding a slice of bread???

There are pans

indoors

That make things crispy because that’s what pans are for

Also microwaving bread to defrost it for the time it takes without going overboard to fucking melt the bread is the second way to do it

I just don’t because the bread doesn’t become crispy

wh-

wut do u mean defrost

r u toasting ur bread directly out of the freezer???

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

I have a piece of tumblr history on my blog now

What the-

I haven’t seen this in about 4 years. I’m glad it’s back.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

@iamfuckingweeping