hurts so bad when you finally know
8x14 coda (eddie's version | chimney's version)
It’s not anything, Eddie tells himself. Buck is at work. They probably just got called out, and Buck can’t pick up because he’s busy hauling a hose line or keeping someone’s blood inside of their body. He’ll call back when they’re back in the engine, or maybe when he’s back at the station and has some privacy.
And besides, it’s not like Eddie has anything urgent to tell him. He can wait. It’ll be fine.
He drums his fingers all through the next passenger, has one star docked off his rating for it. Driver seemed distracted, the comment says. The atmosphere was kind of tense.
Which is ridiculous, because he’s not tense. He’s—normal. Just a normal guy waiting for his—waiting for a friend to return a call. Like people normally do.
He tries Buck again, gets his voicemail again. The message is so familiar he can mouth along with it, word for word, and usually the smile in Buck’s voice coaxes a matching smile out of him, but not today.
Which is ridiculous, he tells himself again. There’s nothing to distinguish today from any other day.
But it doesn’t make the tension go away.
Buck doesn’t call back during his next passenger, or the one after that. Eddie tries to call again, and at this point he’s not surprised when he gets voicemail again.
Doesn’t necessarily mean anything, he tries to rationalise, but he doesn’t believe it anymore.
It’s been hours. Buck should have called back by now. Texted, at least, a quick note to say he’s on a call. The fact that he hasn’t means—
Eddie doesn’t want to think about what it means.
He clocks out on the rideshare app and turns towards home. It’s about to hit rush hour and he should really keep driving for a couple of hours more, but he’s not—he can’t—
It’s been hours since he’s heard from Buck, and he can’t—
The TV is on when he lets himself into the house, Christopher parked frozen in front of it. “What’s goi—” Eddie starts to ask, and trails off as his eyes focus on the screen.
On the chyron: LOS ANGELES FIREFIGHTERS TRAPPED INSIDE BIOHAZARD FACILITY.
On the engines parked outside the building, bright red against the pavement, the number 118 clearly emblazoned across them.
“Is—” he starts to ask, and the word comes out as a croak, the rest of them stuck somewhere in his throat. He doesn’t even know what he was going to ask, doesn’t know if Christopher would have answers, doesn’t know if he even wants the answers. If it would be better to teeter on the edge of the chasm forever than to fall into it.
But the decision isn’t his to make. The television cuts back to a reporter clutching a microphone, her expression grim. “We’ve just received word that at least one of the firefighters trapped inside the facility has contracted a deadly viral disease. At least one firefighter is known to be otherwise injured. Authorities remain tight-lipped, but we’ll bring you more information as soon as we get it. There is no word yet on when—or if—these firefighters can be extricated.”
Eddie’s heart drops into his stomach, falls out the bottom and keeps going. Buck is—Buck might be—
Buck could be dead. Buck could be dying at this very moment, and Eddie is—
Eddie is eight hundred miles away, gripping the back of the sofa like it’s the only thing keeping him upright.
Buck could be dead, and all Eddie wants to do is pick up the phone and call him, pray that this time, by some miracle, he actually answers. All he wants is to see Buck, to hear his voice, to tell him—