Kat's Writing!

Kneesvember Day 11

Now I want to know about the hat research!

One of those situations where, 'you're turning into your father' is the furthest thing from a insult possible.

Steve Irwin’s son? I’m guessing?

tiny death roll

Like Mand’alor Din Djarin who is completely politically incompetent is very funny and good but what about Mand’alor Din Djarin who just comes out of nowhere and absolutely slaughters (metaphorical) these career politicians across the negotiating table bc he has 20 years of experience cutting contracts with the worst and most unbearable people in the galaxy. And he had to figure out ways to say I Am Not Fucking Doing That without ever technically breaking his code of honor by violating his contract or whatever. 

Snow White is the only Disney remake that has managed to offend EVERYONE

It offends the anti-woke crowd because of Rachel Zegler’s ethnicity and political opinions

It offends progressive people because of Gal Gadot’s political opinions and participation in the IDF

It offends animation enjoyers because of its very existence and Zegler seemingly bashing the original Snow White

It offends fashion/hair/makeup enjoyers because of the ugly dress and Farquaad-esque haircut

It offends little people because roles were taken away from them in favor of CGI dwarves

It offends kids because said CGI dwarves are horrifying and will probably give them nightmares

It offends adults because it’s just another shameless cash grab from Hollywood and Gadot’s horrible acting (and the CGI dwarves are horrifying even as an adult)

Hopefully this will be Disney’s wake up call to stop doing remakes, but we all know that Lilo and Stitch is gonna make a billion dollars. Anyways go watch the day the earth blew up or something

Well…to be pretty fair, the Mulan remake did a decent job at offending everyone too.

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I think...you might be right

what the fuck

much like the way "Gary" owes much of its popularity to actor Gary Cooper, born Frank James Cooper, who took the name on the advice of his agent who got it from the town of Gary, Indiana, which was named after American industrialist Elbert Henry Gary, who also gave his named to Gary, West Virginia.

In the 1700s, writer James McPherson discovered a work of ancient Scottish epic poetry by a bard named Ossian. Ossian's work became incredibly popular across Europe; he was hailed as an equal to Homer. In particular, Napoleon was major admirer of Ossian's, and named his godson Oscar after a character from the poem. This Oscar eventually became King Oscar I of Sweden, which popularized the name Oscar overnight. It remains a common name to this day in many countries, despite the fact that it is now broadly known Ossian was a hoax and that James McPherson wrote the supposed ancient epics himself.

cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it

"The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist; a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain."

-Ursula K. LeGuin, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas

"Evil is boring. Right? I kinda believe in the banality and mundaneness of evil. Evil is just selfish impulses, which at the end of the day are really easy to understand. It’s easy to understand why people do bad things. It’s like “yeah, ok, you’re selfish and scared and cruel, I get it”. Being good is complex and beautiful and hard." - Brennan Lee Mulligan

there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.

like this one dude just made a fake taxidermy and spread it around as a hoax for a good ass while and it lead to this really cool fantasy creature and i am genuinely dissapointed that it never gets used in anything

THE BOY

Rabbirds, by the amazing @tkingfisher/Ursula Vernon (source).  

The lack of skvaders is particularly frustrating when you realize it forms the third point of a wonderful cryptid trifecta.

You got the jackalopes, which are rabbits with antlers.

And you got the wolpertingers, which are rabbits with antlers and wings.

And then… what? Do you escalate? That’s unbalanced, those two rabbit cryptids don’t have the same number of extra things, the wolpertinger is clearly the jackalope But More.

BUT with the skvader on the other side, balance is restored. Antler rabbit, winged rabbit, winged antler rabbit. It’s a classic Venn diagram of imaginary lapine beasts, and it’s only complete if you acknowledge the fucking skvader.

Good thing Ursula’s got our back, at least.

This is a really excellent point and I applaud your advancements in Cryptid Theory.

Gentleman, if I might add:

yes you may add this

I think balance in crypdids is VERY IMPORTANT.

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance

now all my Youtube recommendations are filled with Miss Piggy interviews. I’m not complaining. Miss Piggy what’s your secret to ageing so graciously

It's not just the audience; professional journalists, hosts, and actors report it is legitimately difficult to not see the Muppet as a person, and it is, in fact, incredibly easy to interview or act with them once the performer gets properly set up.

Like that one time they couldn't figure out why Kermit's audio was so garbage... then realized they'd put the mic on him instead of the performer.

this has been a very longstanding issue - before the muppet show was even a thing some muppets appeared in commercials, such as rolf the dog they had a continual problem where when people directing/shooting the dogfood commercial would give dirrection to rolf that they would be speaking to the muppet, to which rolf REPEATEDLY had to tell them ‘i cant hear you, you have to talk to him’ and point at the performer underneath him rolf is one of the most embarrassing muppets to need this direction as the performer is this, damn, obvious when not on camera

‘sir, i am a bathroom mat, the man you need to talk to is back there’

I did an interview with Gonzo one time, and when I got into the Zoom call, it was the actor on screen trying to figure out his audio. And then once he did, he went like “OKAY!” and then just like dove to the floor and it was Gonzo and there was never a moment when I doubted that the dude was just Gonzo’s tech guy 

I have met a muppet-like puppet in real life and when I tell you that my brain was hacked FUCKING INSTANTLY..... It was a person, I swear it was a person. I asked it for a hug (no i was not 5 years old, i was like 28 at this time). i genuinely don't know what came over me, it was just. It was a person???? Witchcraft

A couple years ago, I was invited to the birthday party of one of my former preschool students. I decided to bring my teaching puppet (a big rat) along because I knew several other kids from that class would be there, and she was always a huge hit with them.

They were, of course, very excited to see her. But what surprised me was that after the kids ran off to play in the sprinkler, the parents around me struck up conversation with the puppet. They continued for at least fifteen minutes, asking her questions like, "how long have you been teaching?" and "eaten out of any good dumpsters lately?" until one dad exclaimed "why have I been talking to a rat puppet this whole time!"

There's a guy who comes to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science with life size Skeleton puppets of mammoth/young T-Rex that he wears. You can fully see him in the middle of the skeleton, and it's a SKELETON, but absolutely everyone interacts with the puppets like they're living, breathing animals. I watched multiple people attempt to feed pretzels to the baby rex.

Great moments in corporate synergy: Disney released their Super Bowl ad imagining what the world would be like without Iconic Disney Moments and it included a single Disney animated film. Frozen obviously. Otherwise it's entirely films made by companies they bought and one live action remake. "Remember when Disney brought you Star Wars" and it's the original and no. Bc they very much did not bring us that one

There's two things here. For one it's weird how Hollywood's baffling distaste for animation has spread to Disney now. But also the way they retroactively claim things they bought were not just made by them, but are core aspects of their identity.

Without Disney, would Star Wars exist? And like. Yes. There are three trilogies of films and the two best-liked were not made by Disney. But now "Disney Took You to a Galaxy Far, Far Away" is A Thing. We all remember that right. We all remember when Disney gave us Star Wars (the 1977 one and not Rise of Skywalker & the Star Wars Hotel)

Marvel was bought by Disney earlier but: the first phase of the MCU, so everything up to The Avengers, wasn't made by Disney. It was made by Marvel themselves, and then they entered into distribution deals with various studios (mainly Paramount, one by Universal). Anyway now Disney brought you Marvel. It's one of the main things they brought you, remember? Look at this clip from The Avengers (a film already in production that Disney bought out the distribution rights for when they bought Marvel). That's what people think of when they think of Disney: Star Wars, Marvel, Pixar, Hulu, and live action remakes

Tbh the actual worst moment of "Disney has always been responsible for the exciting IP 'war with Eastasia'" synergy was when Disney bought Fox and they started retroactively calling Anastasia a Disney movie

You know that movie everyone in 1997 & for decades afterward had to keep explaining wasn't a Disney movie? There's now official Disney anniversary merch of it

Lilo & Stitch is now also about boasting about companies Disney owns. Stitch is posing near Logos and Brand Signifiers and the lamp from Aladdin...'s live action remake (they did character posters, but live action remakes only)

The original was #synergy too, but as a joke, "all the Disney characters are scared bc Disney now has a Nasty Alien Boy" works a lot better than uh, Stitch destroying a 20th Century Fox logo. It was fun because the ads for it were little skits where he interacted with other characters, and the new one is uh. Him posing besides props and logos

Also the original Lilo & Stitch promos strongly implied that if Jasmine from Aladdin ever met Stitch, she would feel uncontrollable lust and have no choice but to drop that nerd and run away with the little blue fuck machine

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

OP this is EXCELLENT

Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.

i wanted to share maybe the funniest thing ive ever read with you guys

Okay I found the thread and some of these are pretty good lmao

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

(and the prev tags)

#Pride and prejudice#fuuuuuuuck#Yeah you both kinda stupid#I forgot some shit don’t hate me#Also yes I forgot Mary but I’m gonna say Darcy did too just to cover my ass

…Yeah. That’s just about it, isn’t it?

(And then she nukes him from orbit. Which, despite the absolutely correct summing-up of the background, is still deeply satisfying.) 😏

One under-appreciated breed of fic writer are the ones who hyperfocus on logistics to the exclusion of all canon shortcuts, and thus usually strike upon an awesome way to flesh out the worldbuilding or characters.

Like, I’m not necessarily talking realism here since often it’s still pretty far from realistic, but more like, “someone has to be running spies in this fantasy kingdom, and we’ve seen the whole royal court, so which background character is it? How does that change these three major interactions?” Or “real life historical nobility did in fact have some things to do that were like jobs, how does this human disaster cope with running an estate?” Or “there’s no reason for a sci-fi robot detective to know how to whitewater kayak, where’d she learn?” Or “if this guy is serving the emperor directly he has to be way high up in the space empire servant hierarchy, why is he doing this menial task for someone else? What’s his motive? Does he perhaps have the secret space telepathy?”

Anyway I’m always DELIGHTED to find a fic or writer who asks these questions because the fics themselves are universally bangers.

person who knows how logistical things works has picked up the cannon, hefted it thoughtfully, and put a single chalk mark precisely on the problem.

Thats actually really cool

It's really a Digital Lich- it's corpse is being resurrected over and over via arcane rituals.

:)

got told at lunch "you feel like Tumblr Incarnate" and i had to tell them i've been here for 13 years and counting. i was here three years before dashcon happened. i saw the mishapocalypse. i survived the gigapause. i've been here longer than the shoelaces post. i've been here since it was hipsters versus fandom and i played both sides extensively by overdoing the sepia filters on everything and making my own flashing galaxy gif edits for my fandom posts. i'm every tumblr. it's all in me

Oh ancient one what wisdom do you hold?

Natla gave us a cold/asshole Kyoshi with Aang (fanon kyoshi) when actually in the canon series she's like this

Aang's mom ❤

Seriously, every single past life adore Aang and i hope we'll have more scenes with them in the new movies/comics!

"Escape from the spirit world" should have been an episode bruh

Fuck you Bryke for ruining everything in tlok

#If you think about it #Aang is the youngest avatar we know of #everyone else has been 16+ up until this point #And all the past avatars knows how heavy the burden of being the avatar is #they know it personally #and they can understand how heavy it must be for a 12 year old to carry it #especially regarding the shit circumstances #They are his past lives #and they see themselves in him #And they know that if they were 12 and in the situation that Aang is in #then they would have really wanted someone to be kind and understanding of them