like to charge reblog to cast

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

🕯️🕯️ may all 🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️corrupt politicians🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ meet their fate 🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ ‧͙☆༓happy ides༓☆‧͙🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ to all 🕯️🕯️

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

Duke, coming to 38 hours later, unable to feel his hands, with a suspect in handcuffs: Wh- What just happened?

Tim: Magic my friend, magic.

Commission Info / Kofi

Jason and Bruce are out late one night in Gotham as civilians. They get cornered by a mugger and Jason nearly pisses himself, he’s so amused. He teases the would-be mugger about their hand placement, even tries to goad the mugger into a fight because he’s Red Hood. He can disarm anyone in seconds. It doesn’t matter if you have a gun — he has two.

He’s Red Hood, and he has the literal Bat of Gotham standing behind him like a wall of muscle. They’re as close to invincible as humans get, in this town. And that kind of confidence scares off their would-be mugger.

But then Jason turns around, a smile stretching across his face, and Bruce is white. Bone white and so so quiet, eyes wide and trained on where the mugger had been standing.

Dick: You have a brother?? Is he Talia and Bruce’s too?

Damian: Of course, we share the same parentage after all.

Tim: How old is he?

Damian: He says it reset after he went into the Lazarus pit. So he’s 3.

(Bruce is in the background blue screening that he has another child with Talia that he didn’t know about.)

——-

3 years ago

——

Damian: How old are you?

Jason, unsure if he can count those 6 months in the ground: I’m a few days, cause I went into the Lazarus pit and it went back to 0.

Damian, precisely ten (10) apples tall: this is my little brother. He’s 4. Make him cry and I’ll gut you

Jason in Red Hood gear, 6’4, built like a fridge: Ḧ̶̢̫͖̗͈̘̗̣͚͙í̶̝̦͚͕ͅ 🥰

an incomplete list of times a bat has yelled for superman’s help

- six years after they met, batman called for superman’s help for the first time, when he realized he couldn’t save a child from a fire

- dick grayson, age 8, called for superman to save batman from a death trap

- dick grayson, age 9, called superman to open a jam jar (strawberry)

- alfred, age lots, called superman to save batman from a death trap

- dick grayson, age 11, called superman to open a jam jar (grape)

- bruce wayne called superman to comfort dick grayson, who had just been fired as robin

- ace the bathound barked for superman to save batman from a death trap

- bruce wayne called superman to ask why, precisely, dick grayson was now superhero-ing under a kryptonian name

- jason todd called superman to save batman from a death trap

- batman called superman to save jason todd from a death trap. superman was in a different solar system.  he didn’t hear his name.

- barbara gordon called superman to help subdue supergirl, who was mind-controlled at the time

- dick grayson, age 19, called superman to open a jam jar (raspberry)

- tim drake called superman to save batman from a death trap

- stephanie brown called superman to see if she could

- tim drake called superman to tell superboy to take his earbuds out

- batman called superman because the batplane had just exploded at 17,000 feet, and he can’t fly, at all

- jason todd called superman to save batman from a death trap that he had himself set up

- dick grayson, age 24, called superman to open a jam jar (fig)

- dick grayson called superman to ask him why he hadn’t saved his father

- damian wayne called superman to save batman (dick grayson) from a death trap

- cassandra cain called superman so he could interpret her signs for a particularly skeevy alleyway ruffian.  he refused to interpret some of the signs.

- batman called superman to tell him to get lois some damn flowers already so she would stop texting him

- a failsafe device made by barbara gordon and tim drake automatically called superman to save batman from a death trap

- duke thomas called superman because he was dared to and he didn’t think it would work (it did)

- dick grayson, age 26, called superman to open a jam jar (apricot)

- damian wayne called superman to tell superboy (jon kent) to take his earbuds out

- selina kyle called superman to save a kitten from a tree

- dick grayson, age 28, called superman to save batman from a jam jar (giant, acid-filled)

Jason ‘big bro Jay’ Todd

okay but what if Jason just never became red hood and instead became Damian’s older brother first and foremost? After Talia Al Ghul revived him, he may Damian and decided ‘fuck Batman, I’m adopting the kid’

Damian has not clue why everyone looks so terrified when his big brother comes over- and who on earth is ‘Master Todd’? Its ’big Brother Jay’ duh!

on Jason’s first visit back to the manor, Damian introduces him to Bruce, expecting them to get along due to their ‘gloom doom and serious energy’

instead Bruce just looks like he’s seen a ghost, and Jason (who has firmly decided he will protect this demon child, and batman is just a small roadblock) sticks out his hand and says

“Jay. Nice to meet you. I’m Damian’s older brother, what did you say your name was? Brian?”

Bruce dosent come out from his room for another three days

dick: you were gone for months, everyone though you were insane or else, dead even, you cut off all of the contacts with your family, friends and colleagues. and now turns out you what. almost joined an ancient murderous cult? lost an organ? have committed a few terroristic attacks? and fraud?

tim: it was my hot girl summer

dick: you've been banned from seven different countries

tim: not me being a girlypop

dick:

tim: also, is it a terroristic attack if you attack terrorists?

Being a Batkid doesn’t mean pushing through pain just for the ego or superiority win. It means pushing through pain long enough to make it somewhere safe to get help. It means not giving anyone, even an ally, a chance to parse weakness.

Dick finishes a rough mission with the Titans where he got thrown hard into a wall, smiles and jokes with everyone, and then zetas back to the Cave where he promptly throws up and collapses because almost every bone in his left arm is broken and not a single person noticed.

I'm telling you, for people who traffic in shadows and secrets and world ending conspiracies, the most classified information, the most closely guarded secret, is the contents of the Bat-issued field medical kit.

In case of grievous injury (see: field medicine manual, triage: arterial bleeding, pneumothorax, blunt trauma): Open the foil packet in the top right and consume the entire contents. Count sixty seconds, then remove the aerosol tube from the bottom compartment, pull the tab to break the seal, and spray any wound still bleeding for no more than five seconds each. You may experience auditory noise and disorientation. Apply the field dressings as needed. Once your vision clears, immediately extract to a secure location, lie supine, and crack the capsule embedded in your left instep to activate the homing beacon and initiate removal. If extraction is delayed, at thirty minutes, use the inhaler located in the far left pocket: shake three seconds, spray into the mouth while inhaling, repeat four times. Repeat at one minute intervals until your pulse stabilizes.

And never tell anyone outside of the Batcave what it takes to fight gods and win.

I think Alfred “the Butler” Pennyworth absolutely drilled good manners into Bruce he just consciously chooses to ignore them. This means that you can tell when he’s really and truly sleep deprived by when he’s relying on instincts and he pulls out the chair for Clark

Just saw someone saying that Damian's love for animals comes from Dick??? Bro have you ever read Damian's origin??? Do you know who his family is????

His family is fricking Al Ghuls. The famous eco-terrorist family. The family who has sanctuaries for endengared animals and plants. The family who wants to save the Earth from humans. Damian's love for animals comes from the Al Ghuls.

Dick stans love to attribute Damian's everything to Dick even if it is related or not.

RIP Jason Todd (again apparently)

+ Prints available

Wonder Woman and Superman trying to recruit Batman to the Justice League: Excuse me, but my partner and I saw you from across the battlefield and were wondering-

Bruce Wayne 100% certain he's being propositioned: Yes.

#Bruce mistakes it for a threesome and it somewhat disappointed when they explain it more #He's also too embarrassed to say why he agreed so quickly and pretends he already knew about the JLA #You know like a liar

Jason promises Bruce he's not gonna use guns this time, so he shows up with a rocket launcher.

this is the best possible version of fred

himbo

Didn’t he like end up perfectly fine but like killed like five people instead?? All those bones that he broke were not his?

Can someone find those screenshots for me?

So glad more himbo Fred content is appearing on my dash. People are finally learning the truth!

Fred killed Dick Grayson’s parents

Fred killed Dick Grayson’s Parents

thats it. thats all he learned.

this image means a lot more to me now that i know the truth. 

Oh, no….oh, god!😱

I don't know how to explain this I just wanted Jason to adopt an ugly cat

Something that will never not be funny to me is how in almost every fic I read which is Tim Drake centric, he /always/ loses his spleen. No matter if he’s a civilian in a coffee shop or a villain or any other au, there’s always some event that sneaks it in in fics.

‘DC stands for disregard canon but this one lil guy lost an organ and he has forever lost that privilege :/‘