evolution dysphoria

1) this art is fucking adorable

2) why do I feel this

fuck I really do feel this when I dress up

Didn’t know I would be crying over trans sylveon tonight

the "who am I kidding" really gets you

there is something so crazy and powerful about having art of your oc that was made by anyone other than yourself. like oh my god you actually exist outside of my own brain that's WILD

one of the best haircut videos i have seen

I would absolutely ADORE if you guys reblogged this with some stuff you drew using this mixed-resolution workflow ^v^

HI HELLO HOWDIEEEEEE as some of yall know im TRYNA GET OUTTA an inCREASINGLY FACIST COUNTRY WIT @me-beef

we both have a lOTTA plans we wanna get JIGGIE WIT THE SAUCE

but we nEED SOME DOUGH TA HELP BUST US OUTTA HERE IF U GOT SOME SPARE DOLLARS AN WANNA HELP SOME TGIRLS FOLLOW THEIR DREAMS THEN YIPPEEEE

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

Same as it ever was

Same as it ever was

And the d*cks go by...

A Visit to W.R.A.T.H.

Behr fiddles with her large claw, head bobbing side to side to a song that wasn’t playing. Her tongue pushes through her lips as she follows after the tiger. He’s speaking to her, but her mind isn’t fully there at the moment as she walks alongside him. Finally a little bit of the conversation breaks through. “-rrent litigation is of no consequence to us. We do not wish to dissuade or encourage you in your current lawsuit.” He presses a button on an old elevator, it somehow looks more outdated than the one from her old condo. “We’re merely reaching out to offer support and get information on what occurred.”

“I’m really sorry Mr. T, but I don’t really know what you’re talking about.” She raises her paw up, grinning wide as she looks at her large clawed mitt. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about… um… what was it…”

As Behr muses over where her train of thought went, another song loads up in her mind and she begins to tap her foot to it, once again distracted from her line of thought. “We were just discussing what we’ll be doing here. Stopping by my office to pick up some suppressants and then discu-”

“Oh! This is my favorite part!” Behr chuckles a bit, humming out some music for a few moments, then quickly returning to her quiet smile. “Sorry, hehe, I love this song…”

The tiger chuckles a bit, a bit bemused by the oddity in instinct he was witnessing. “It’s quite a nice one. What band is it by again?”

“Rare Americans! Hehe, their new album came out like… a month or two ago…” She pauses for a moment. “Wait… July… August…” She counts it out on her fingers, a somber expression coming over her face. “It’s been almost a year since… How did I…”

She looks at T, a small bit of fear on her face. He nods and gives her a reassuring smile. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s ok. We’ll take this slowly. I promise.”

“Y-Yeah, um… you said something about suppressants, what do those do again?” Behr puts her hand on the side of her head, trying to hold herself in place.

“Oh, well, they suppress instincts, things like predator and prey response…” He lists off a few other things in quick succession but it isn’t really sinking in. “We haven’t ramped up production on them, but they’re nearing a point where they can be sold over the counter.”

“Right… cool.” She taps her chin. “But I’m a plant and… would it work on…” She looks up towards the fluorescent light at the top of the elevator, her voice trailing off a bit as she straightens her back and leans forward onto the balls of her feet. “Work on…”

The tiger, she thinks his name is T, or it could be Ty, or Todd… you know these things just work out in the end, so she should lay off trying to worry about it and just bask in the light. The words fade back into background noise as another track picks up in her mind, and she’s once again tapping her toes and swaying her head to a silent symphony. The stupor continues as the tiger leads her past some cubicles and to another elevator. Gosh, this place is high, higher than the first time she smoked weed. Wasn’t she watching The Eric Andre Show for that? Right, yeah, and then… she hadn’t watched that show since. Probably cause she didn’t remember what episodes she actually watched cause of how h-

Behr pauses as she’s handed an open water bottle. She sniffs it, purified, nice, cold. She moves to chug it down, maybe even eat the metal bottle that the water is sitting in, but she has two pills placed into her paw. She instinctively takes them, using just enough water to wash them down before handing the bottle back to whomever gave it to her. The music in her brain doesn’t disappear, slowly fading into the background as she gets a little bit of tunnel vision.

She focuses more on what’s in front of her, a level of clarity she didn’t have when still human filling her mind as she stares up at the tiger. “Oh! Um, hello there, I didn’t wander into your garden, did I?”

“Oh, no, you just were talking about a game called Tactical Breach Wizards for the bulk of the time from the elevator to my office.” The tiger chuckles a bit.

Behr looks mortified, flushing a dark blue. “I’m so sorry, I… I’ve been having some issues with… and…” She looks towards the pill bottle on the desk, and the bottle in his hand. “What did you give me? Is it a new medication?”

“Just some instinct suppressants. Glad they work the same on you as everyone else.” He grins at her, putting out a paw. “In case your memory is a bit shaky, I’m T. I’m an Agent at WRATH, you’re in our headquarters to answer a few questions and maybe receive some improved treatment.”

“Oh, is this part of the GND induction? My boyfriend has been filling most of that out for me because of… well…” She motions towards herself.

“No, actually this is in reference to your lawsuit against Dr. Erian.” As T brings that up, Behr’s expression sours. “We just need to know what happened, he was a registered provider for a portion of your treatment.”

“Right, I mean, I guess I can answer some questions… just so long as you can get me a mountain of those pills.” She motions towards the bottle, chuckling a bit, the tunnel vision slowly giving way to allow her to see around her. “So, what exactly do you need to ask?”

“It’s not me who’s going to be asking them, I just want to prep you before you go in, since it can be a bit weird and no one deserves to be thrown into procedure without fair warning.” T pauses and Behr gives him a curt nod, ready for the explanation. “It’s a panel, a few leaders of different departments, just making sure that any issues regarding your treatment are documented for future production.”

“Future production!” Behr smiles and practically bolts upwards. “Erian said it was being canned after my coma. There’ll be other plants?”

T smiles at her new level of excitement and animation. “Possibly! But seeing as you are the first person to undergo the change, we really do need you to answer candidly.”

She nods, a determined look crossing her face. “we intend to be as forthcoming as we can be”

“Of course” He hands over the bottle of pills, motioning for her to follow once more. “You can keep those, GND should have some in stock the next time you have an appointment.”

“Ah! You’re a lifesaver… like, literally, I think last week I flopped down in the middle of the road after it rained.” Behr rubs the back of her head chuckling. “Oh I definitely did… crumbs”

The pair walk through a few hallways, passing by a number of Therians in different states of transition as well as dress. Some wore masks to hide their faces, others were barely in business casual clothing. Behr’s focus starts to fade a bit, the heavy lights and rather busy corridor making it harder to stay present.

She snaps back as the ID Badge on her collar is scanned by a security staff member. “Ah, this is the one?” The uniformed person asks T.

“Yep, this is Behr… what’s she entered into the system as?” T asks out of curiosity. Behr was puzzled, why would she be in this system? Wasn’t she just one of Erian’s patients? She hadn’t ever been told about WRATH.

“ProjectFlora, at least that’s how it’s displayed on my end.” The figure in kevlar shrugs and looks over towards Behr.

“Project…” She frowns a bit, it was a bit demeaning to be classified as a project. “I mean, I guess I signed up for a medical study, but still…”

“That’s just how your files got submitted, it likely won’t stick if you start receiving treatment through WRATH directly.”

She shrugs a bit, nodding towards the door. “Let’s just get to the questions, I’m hoping that I can get through this before jumping into a decorative fountain.”

“Is that something I need to worry about you doing?” T asks, a joking tone to his voice.

“Uh, yes, it is. I fall into mud puddles. If I’m truly out of it I will fling myself into the nearest body of freshwater.” Behr responds seriously.

“Well, I’ll keep you away from our fountain room.” T tries to joke a gain, this time getting a chuckle out of her.

She rolls her eyes, holding two fingers parallel to each other. “If you had one, I’d have dowsed it and not gone anywhere till I saw it.”

The pair chuckle a bit together at the thought, rounding the corner into a room with several figures in suits. All except for a large red wyvern are wearing masks.

“Oh, uh, hello!” Behr waves at them, looking for a place for her to sit down. She fumbles with the pill bottle, taking another two capsules assuming that this process would take much longer than anticipated.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Mu-” The wyvern begins, only for Behr to cut her off.

“It’s just Behr actually. No last name… Can’t really remove it from IDs.” She looks down a bit pensively. “It’s a bit of why I’m a plant, I prefer to just be, no need for things that complicated.” 

“My apologies, It’s a pleasure to meet you Behr. I’m A.” The wyvern smiles and looks across the room of suits. “I hope you don’t mind us asking a few questions before we start, just to make sure your mental status is in a place where we aren’t overstressing you.”

Behr nods, sighing a bit. “You can ask anything you want. Though with how the last month has gone, I can’t really say if this will go well.”

A nods and gives a kind smile. “This is a place of acceptance and growth, you can’t fail this test in any way.”

The cactus doesn’t respond, nodding and putting her head back up, hair flopping over her eyes.

“Alright, let’s do this rapid fire so we don’t take up too much of your time.” A looks at a small leaflet of paper. “What is your date of birth?”

“Oh-three, oh-five, oh-one.” Behr can feel the pitch of their voice change, but lets Theo do what its best at.

“When did you begin your treatment?”

“May 2024, after nearly four months of prescreening and psychiatric evaluation.”

“Do you know why you are here?”

“Uh… um…” She sputters a bit, she never really knew that, this wasn’t like the other questions! This was something about today! “I think it has to do with my treatment, but I wasn’t very lucid until a few minutes ago.”

“Perfectly all right. Just please repeat this in your own words and to the best of your understanding. You are going to be answering questions about your treatments through Dr. Erian.” A was being more patient with Behr than most would.

“I’m here because Dr. Erian dropped me into a crumbing coma for nine days and I need to answer some questions about it.” Behr clears her throat.

“Alright, I would consider that evidence enough of mental acuity.” A nods towards the suits, one of whom is already writing down notes. One of them turns towards Behr, they smell fox-like, though that could be any of them in the room. There’s also an owl and a mouse that are easy to sniff out. “Miss Behr, you began your first treatment in May of 2024, what was the name of the medication you were on?”

“Oh, uh…” She taps her cheek. “Well, it didn’t have a name until the second time I went. I think the first time around it was a skin patch and a pill. The pill was Generelacton, 50 mg, and the patch was just referred to as Substance F. I don’t think I ever learned the dosage.”

There’s a bit of talking between the others. “I don’t recall ever testing anything like this…”

“Well, not on a patient, but we had some tissue samples to confirm it was possible.” Another one responds.

They turn back towards Behr. “What was it eventually named?”

“Well, Dryacaryophyllate. That was at least the name on the pill bottles… Still no dosage, at least in a capacity I could read.”

There’s far less talk about this, the next question comes quickly. “How did your treatment progress?”

“A… Ahead of schedule.” Behr grimaces a bit. “Originally it was marketed as something slow, that would occur over the course of two years.” She pauses and shrugs. “By month six my eyes stopped working and I was already mostly green. I was happy with the results, just surprised.”

“Was it distressing in any way?” The question is posed so innocently. It was probably too easy to just say no. Behr liked her body, but… that wouldn’t be truthful.

“It… was. No matter how much I liked the results or how happy I am with the outcome, waking up and not being able to see, was terrifying. Suddenly not being able to sleep made me vomit from stress. And then… well…” She points to her hand. “Finding out I didn’t have bones and could regrow myself didn’t go the best, I think my boyfriend is still squeamish after my hand just sloughed off.”

“Your hand sloughed off?” Came the moment she finished her thought.

“Yes, month six was… a fun month.” She gives a grim chuckle. “Blind, blankets sticking to me, and then my hand goes numb, I ask for a massage, and off it comes. Replaced by this lovely thing!” Behr waggles her four claws. “This was actually the end result I was going for, four fingers, big and soft, but it wasn’t really supposed to happen until 2026.”

“That’s… quite the difference in time. Did Erian every lower the dose?”

Behr thinks about it. “Yes… and no.” She trails off trying to think of how to word it best. It isn’t really helping much.

“Miss Behr?” A steps in, seeing the plant looking off towards the light. “Do you need to take a break?”

“Er… no, I think I just need a better way to phrase it. So, yes, he did lower my dosage eventually, but I never got a lower dose of Dryacaryophyllate.”

A looks a bit intrigued, and there’s definitely a lot more cross talk and note taking after that statement. “What do you mean by that?”

“I… Don’t know all the details, though, to the best of my knowledge, because my medication was bespoke, when he changed the dosage, it did more than just… change how much medicine I received?”

One of the suits in back, either the mouse or owl one pulled out a paper. “I recalled reading something about that. Your dosage was cut back because of how quickly you were progressing. There’s no mention about side effects until after your nine month appointment.”

“That’s because there weren’t any until January.” Behr looks to the side. “My transition progressed semi-normally, I lost my circadian rhythm in November, but… at the start of January I couldn’t sleep. Not even with the lights off. After that, I had an appointment and… it was off, but I wasn’t fully there, none of us were.”

“And then four days later you were in a coma.” One of the suits finishes.

“Yes, five days in a row where I didn’t even get a second of micro sleep, after a month of restless sleep.” Behr looks at the others. “What was left of my body was rejecting parts of my transition. It led to an overproduction of histamines which… were basically just like overdosing on Benadryl.”

There’s more note taking. “You said parts of your transition?”

“I don’t know what you have in your file, but… I was unintentionally hybridized. I was originally taking a dose of 90% Carnegiea gigantea and about 10% Opuntia ficus-indica. I was never told anything changed about my species or dosage… however, a genetic test I had performed at the hospital showed that I genetically matched Aloe vera, Cotyledon tomentosa, Cylindropuntia bigelovii, and Echinocactus grusonii. It’s likely I’m more hybridized, though I have no way of knowing.”

“Hybridization is a common process, how would this have resulted in such a negative reaction?”

“Maybe it was the speed? Nine months for six species is rough.”

“I doubt that, if the cells were changing at that rate, why would it cause a rejection rather than anything else? Cancer would have been the co-”

Behr clears her throat. “Um… It’s because it stalled my human cells. They were supposed to start fading away around the time I stopped sleeping like a human. But for three months my plant cells were rewritten… several times.” She looks down. “Look, I’m thankful that you’re all interested in figuring out what’s wrong with this process to iron out the kinks for the next batch… but genuinely, the only thing wrong with it was my doctor.”

“But there are very obvious improvements that could be made. Your mental capacity is severely inhibited without suppressants.”

“That’s because, while I was in my coma I received a high dose of medication, after thirty two hours, I was moved onto a variant that would have made me feral.” She pauses, wiping at her eyes. “I am alive because of it, but to claim it was a fault of the treatment is wrong.”

“Th-There’s not a mention of this in your medical records…” One of the suits responds, pointing to a piece of paper.

“Figures, someone who doesn’t care to read the letters DNR before trying to defibrillate someone wouldn’t chart well either.”

A’s eyes go wide, as do T’s. The others are wearing masks, so she can’t really gauge their reactions. “You had a Do Not Resuscitate order? And he violated it?”

“Yes, it was a hold over from being human. It’s since been removed from my file.” She looks back forward. “And… yes. Due to the increased dosage, the last of my human cells faded, this included what remained of my heart. The ECG in the room read that as flat lining… which is medically not something a defibrillator can fix. So it calls a lot more into question than the several large purple signs being ignored.”

“He was one hundred percent trying to keep her death off of his records.” There’s murmuring and cross talk that’s not directed at Behr, she takes this moment to look back at T.

“T… I would like to get some air, if that’s ok.” Behr tugs at her collar, feeling a wave of discomfort in this room as she listens to people discussing her.

The tiger nods and stands up, whispering something to A before ushering Behr out of the room. He gives a half hearted smile to Behr. “That’s some pretty heavy stuff.”

“Hah… yeah, I’m lighter than a feather if that’s just heavy.” She sighs, combing her claw through her hair. “I haven’t really had time to… process it at all.”

“Well, we have therapy and support groups through WRATH.” T smiles and motions around the compound. “If you need support we can offer it.”

“Thank you for the offer, but I am currently unable to make the commute, THEMS is sometimes a chore to get to with my condition. Though I do like the set up you all have. I wish I could… I could…”

“Behr?” T asks, waving a hand in front of the plant’s face. His face showed his concern. “I could… That I could visit.” She snaps back to attention, looking at him puzzled. “T, are you ok?”

“I was about to ask the same thing of you. You kinda zoned out there for a moment.”

“Huh… I guess I did?” She pats her cheek again. “I might be experiencing things like instincts… but I don’t really… know if…”

She rocks back onto her heels, staring off towards the windows. Behr waddles past T and leans against a railing, smiling as she takes a deep breath. “I guess we need to do more research… How are you holding up?”

“Fine, thank you mister.” She sticks her tongue out once more, leaning most of her weight onto the railing. “It’s just a bit cold.”

“Well, it’s still winter.” T takes up a post next to her. “So, it’s not really surprising that it’s cold.”

“Am I livin' a lie? i ask me myself and I.” Behr hums to the music in her head, slowly coming back to, blinking a bit. “'Cause everybody knows, courage comes and goes. brother hold on for the next supply” She looks over at T. “I’m sorry, I keep losing myself… I apologize for making your job as hard as I’ve made it today.”

“You’re not making my job difficult. And if we’re gonna talk pity olympics, I think you’ve got it difficult if you’re losing time this often.” T hands Behr his water bottle again. “I think we’ll need to develop another form of our suppressants for you. If you’re willing to test them.”

“Honestly, in for a penny in for a pound you already know that im willing to sell my body for results” She cracks her neck, letting out a low groan. “Ugh… plus these current ones are making me feel so stiff…”

“Stiff, really?”

“Yeah, like… it’s making the fibers in my body tighten more than they normally do. It’s kinda hard to explain, but it’s like if your bones suddenly decided to be harder than normal.”

“That’s definitely a unique experience.” T shrugs. “Like I said, we have to make a new version for you.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll hold onto this bottle, I just know I need to be sparing with them.” Behr downs the rest of the water in the bottle. “I think I’m ready to go back in… though I might not be able to answer questions as well as earlier.”

“That’s fine, you gave them basically everything they asked for. Let’s just wrap the meeting up.” T takes Behr’s paw and walks her back into the meeting room. She wakes back up nearly twenty hours later, wrapped around her boyfriend, with no real memory of anything preceding it. Perhaps the suppressants had other side effects because this was the first time she lost whole events rather than the thread they belonged to.

“That’s something I can worry about in the future.” She clasps back against Carter, smiling happily as she stays with the sleeping human until he wakes.

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W.R.A.T.H., T, and A are made by @koalaphoenix

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