Where the tumbls go

like this post if u are cringe and free

I'm reading Persuasion again, and I am just tickled by the complete takedown of Sir Walter Elliot that is his introduction.

Jane Austen said, "Meet Sir Walter Elliot. He's very pretty and he has a baronetcy and he sucks so bad. He's just so self-absorbed and all he cares about is how pretty he is and the fact that he has a baronetcy. The only reason that he should actually be proud of these things is because they probably scored him his very awesome (and tragically dead) wife, whose only major flaw was that she married him."

I don't think I'll ever understand people who claim that persuasion isn't as funny as her other novels.

"if I ended up in a fantasy world I'd reinvent guns" SHUT THE FUCK UP AND INVENT AN ENTIRELY METALLIC LATHE WITH A SLIDE RACK FIRST, IDIOT

"Ohhh if I got isekai'd I'd fuck around for ages perfecting the ratio and granularity of smokeless powder for some crappy cast iron cannons" DEAR SIR OR SIRETTE, HAST THOU CONSIDERED BUILDING UP SOME STREET CRED BY USING ALCOHOL AND ZINC SULFATE TO PURIFY INSULIN FROM THE PANCREAS OF LIVESTOCK??? LIKE A NORMAL PERSON??

...

Yes I want to write, okay?? But uniberbity

#even worse is when they 'invent' shit that would 100% definitely already exist but doesn't yet so that the smarty-pants protag can invent it#like. knitting#noped tf out of ascendance of a bookworm partway thru volume 1 bc the author had the GALL to claim knitting didn't exist yet#I'm sorry but if you're gonna disrespect fibre arts like that I'm out. I'm out

Yeah I noped out shortly after the same point. Like the paper, fine, that's logical; there's a whole lot of steps in making paper that a largely non-literate society that already has vellum probably isn't going to develop. It's a complicated process and there needs to be a need for it; I'll buy paper, the paper's fine. But then they're like "nobody has thought to crochet in shapes before"? Really? You have a thriving textile industry and the third dimension is new to you? The idea of making little flowers is something that these professional weavers who spend their winters indoors making baskets and ribbons and stuff have never tried? I'm sorry but that's simply Not Possible.

yeah bookworm lost me with the cooking stuff. Why have these people never thought of like. Basic principles of cooking. Come on.

I don't like to be mean to that story because everyone goes on and on about how fantastic the worldbuilding is so I have to assume that these must be translation issues and maybe these problems don't exist in the original Japanese or something? Because the English translations I've got my hands on are not... I mean the worldbuilding is passable, mostly, when it's not being dragged down by this stuff, but it's not good. (It doesn't have to be -- passable worldbuilding is fine if that's not what your story's about, but I'm baffled as to why people keep saying it's so good so I have to assume it's a translation issue.) And then they have stuff like that that's like. This society must not have soups or vegetable stock. These people are struggling to keep their families fed but they don't have the most basic methods of nutrient and calorie retention, there's food that can be so easily made delicious that's instead considered inedible and used only as chicken feed. Cleaning hair with salt and oil is revolutionary even though they have incredibly easy sources of vegetable oil. The main character's already inventing paper and the printing press, a perfectly reasonable thing for this society to not already have and a perfectly reasonable way for her to change it. Why don't they know how to properly render the fat that they make their winter candles with every single year. Why is 'boiling stuff in water will impart some of its flavour into the water' so revolutionary to them that the main character manages to create the best food they've ever eaten by using it. WHY HAS NOBODY IN THIS TOWN WITH A THRIVING TEXTILE INDUSTRY EVER THOUGHT TO CROCHET A THREE DIMENSIONAL SHAPE.

#...now im kind of tempted to like make a mini guide/book thing thats like#all the actually useful and helpful stuff someone sent back in time could 'invent' and how to do that with whats available#notes about like when something was created and the earliest youll be able to do it easily and what not#...maybe in the style of that one diana wynn jones book that was like a guide to fantasy tropes#find that one post about how to create penicillin and stuff like that#introduction like 'heres a list all the stuff that people will already know how to do#'with some exceptions if youve already got the skill and the tools are not very complex youre not going to be ahead of them#'so heres some things you can actually introduce people to that will help you here

I used to have this tshirt:

Good news! Someone has written this book, its called "How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Timetraveler" by Ryan North, the guy who does Dinosaur Comics and the person who is behind this very shirt!

Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

Some recent commission examples + a new YCH commission option

so the current commission is, and i quote "The mind killer but as like art a catholic grandma might have on her wall"

what do we think so far lads this is the biggest illustration I've ever done for a piece holy shit normally it's 90% stylistic drop capital work and borders with teeny tiny illustrations of people

lineart is done i am SO afraid of the inkwash shading stage holy shitttttttttt

aaaand done! the commissioner gave me the thumbs up to make this into a print so I'll get this together fast as I can and hopefully no one tries to hunt my shit down for a C&D lmao (thats why the holy hand grenade print is off the shop lol)

OKAYOKAY I GOT IT DONNNEEEE ITS AVAILABLE AS A PRINT NOW

I hope this email finds you, binds you, ties you to a pole and breaks your fingers to splinters, drags you to a hole until you wake up naked, clawing at the ceiling of your grave

just wanted to share the National Down Syndrome Society’s message for this year’s World Down Syndrome Day (21st March) 💛💙

Powerful message that lovingly includes multiple disabilities, united. I love this.

“Leg in the air - Parthenon” by Edgard Alsteens, used on a postcard, 1986.

via Reddit

your honor i was just furthering the plot

i miss boops and i crave violence

if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.

#one day an igor forgets the lock the cage and a pack of penises escapes into ankh-morpork#the watch spends the next three weeks rounding them up

how DARE you leave this in the tags (affectionate)

Everyone knew it was best not to look too closely at Igor's jars.

Vimes was beginning to wish he had looked more closely at the most recent additions before Igor came lurching up the stairs to inform him:

"They have ethcaped, thir."

"Escaped. What has escaped, Igor."

"Thome of my.. appendageth, thir."

"Appendages."

"Yeth, thir. Of the... intimate variety."

"Of the intimate..." Vimes trailed off as the dawning horror overwhelmed his vocal cords.

He rallied. "Igor. HOW have they escaped? They are not known for their... perambulatory abilities."

"Really, thir? I've alwayth found them to have a mind of their own at timeth."

Vimes was staying calm. Yes. That was it. He was staying very calm. Definitely NOT thinking AT ALL about how Vetinari and... Good lord, The Times, would react to marauding pack of penises. Would it be a pack? Or would they go off on their own?

"I wath exthperimenting with cuthtom grown oneth, you know. For thothe who cannot grow their own."

"Err... what? Of course you were. I mean. Very good."

Pictured: An Igor harvesting appendages

#[a loud crash is heard from the lab] #[another igor runs past with a giant butterfly net. stopping briefly at the door to shriek 'THE VULVATHS''] (via @the-wave-finally-broke)

It turns out to be a brilliant feat of advertisement, as the people too shy or uncertain to go visit Igor rightaway effectively get a chance to discretely window-shop in public.

An unfortunate side effect being that a small girl, denied of her rightful need to be a Horse Girl by the limitations of being a native Ankh-Morpork child[1], would have adopted one of the larger Appendages of the pack and named it Free Willy. Her insistence that she could understand her pet through a bond of mutual sympathy was both touching and troubling, as was her announcement that Free Willy did not want to be attached to a governing body and forced into service, saddled with clothing, or made to perform tricks for audiences. With no Igor having the heart [2] to take it from her, the child was allowed to keep Free Willy, who lived for five healthy years in her family’s pigeon loft and eventually passed away from natural causes after a battle with another fighting cock. The child went on to write a well-acclaimed children’s book, The Willy that Would Be Free, which was, necessarily, a pop-up book.

[1] where an ordinary working class child CAN form a magical bond with a horse, in the form of a pie, labeled as beef.

[2] ha

Look, it got longer.

So did Free Willy.