big man disturbing the peace. excuse me sir | source

Well you see, what you've done is install a boar enrichment toy instead of a trash can

biggest reason i make so many flop posts on here is because everything i do reeks of the desperation to make a popular tumblr post. this is deliberate, because it is what protects me from ACTUALLY making a popular tumblr post. so long as i crave it, tumblr fame will never find me. it is only when i turn away, and accept my fate of obscurity, that people will lay their eyes upon me. and it WILL be because i tripped and fell on my stupid face while i was turning

time for people to do the funniest thing ever

Do not.

The best cosplay I ever saw at a convention was two kids in a dual stroller, who as their parents pushed them past me were whaling on each other, just, calmly but continually fighting like they didn’t know how not to fight, and as they drew closer I realized these tiny violent toddlers were dressed as Cyclops and Wolverine. 

I think about those parents a lot. 

#parenting#so uh#as a child who was of an age and a birth order to have been in a double stroller#if you are in a double stroller you are either a) very close in age#or b) in the rolling jail FOR A GOOD REASON#fighting and/or bickering is kind of like breathing at that stage (via @librarian-amy)

this is the funniest fucking thing, god bless elton

(tw: f slur, even though it’s not really used in that context)

FULL VIDEO

you can see the EXACT moment where he decides oh this is going to be so fucking funny if i say this

mario'sa saw an ad in the newspaper for'a part time job

thinking about how my old university's automatic email generation gave my friend Andy Ryan the email address ARYAN88

Way, way back in the day, because I am ancient, our university assigned us email addresses you couldn't have changed, which included your first initial, middle initial, part of your surname, and the last five digits of your social security number. They stopped doing that after people kicked up a huge fucking fuss, but...

... I think I'd still rather have that one than your friend's. Damn.

My old job assigned me "cajones" and I had to very, very gently tell them that I could not and would not send professional emails with it because my email would be balls@company.com

I just cackled so loud it scared the dogs.

My mom had a colleague whose name was something like Sara Tan and was given "satan@job.com"

When I was in college, Windows used to leave the username of the last user who logged in in the login form, and a bunch of my friends became obsessed with he username (not the person, just the username) of some poor young woman named (I believe) Sarah M Boomgartner.

The username was "BOOMGASM"

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh, you meant they literally did, ok

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

...

this is the only funny addition to this post

this callout couldve been a block button

this callout couldve been a private conversation

When I see a video of a cat minding its own business with nothing else going on I unmute immediately cause I know that mf is about to make a funny noise

pushed over by ghosts! sad

I was driving earlier and I saw a car with a bumper sticker on it that said "The MILF Of Human Kindness" so, of course, I followed the car for miles and miles until I ran out of gas and it just kept driving beautifully away from me.

kinda funny that there's no tariffs on the vatican but at least 10% on all other microstates in EU

italy about to invent levels of catholic corruption never seen since the 17th century

i need pepple to understand that in the first place leather has always been made from the byproducts of butchering animals for meat, otherwise the skin is just tossed and unused. there were some companies farming for leather for a while, particuarly alligator leather, but those were not the norm. peta did so much harm in their campaigns against leather as a concept (its not unethical. yoi get the skin when an animal dies. thats why most leather clothes in the usa are cow leather, bc thats the biggest meat animal here) that its almost impossible to buy anything "leather" that isnt made of plastic that it so fragile and shitty that the very Thread Holding It Together rips the fibers apart. it will last for maybe a year two if youre lucky, and wont biodegrade and was made out of something that isnt naturally occurring in the first place and is one of the biggest causes of pollution globally

i do not care if you personally think nobody should slaughter or eat animals, it is Going to happen anyway. you cannot be so obtuse thst you think making more plastic that causes pollution endless damage to the animals you claim to care about so much is better than omnivorous human beings eating other animals and using their bodies completely.

THIS BLOG IS SO BACK, BABY! (Sadly, that means that we are all experiencing the emergence of a dystopian hellscape. But hey, look at this funny trader. He's so sad. Haha.)

Why is there no man arching his back with his butt in the air emoji

back in my day we just typed orz to make a little stick figure man doing that (or we would type or2 to give him a dumptruck). And we LIKED it that way!

Taking notes 📝

Monster Hunter Wilds

Gore Magala ✦

Prints + Support = 💙

Merci beaucoup 🙏

More coming soon. Thanks, have a great day ⚡

That a major social media platform that's been around for two decades going down without proper archiving would represent a greater loss of human culture than any library that's ever burned is undeniably true, but it's also a very funny observation to make about Tumblr in particular.

tumblr has been brute-force archived by archive.org so many times, i really cannot believe there aren't a thousand complete copies of the whole site scattered around already.

library of alexandia can't say the same. imagine if anybody had tried to mob-rush the doors of that library to brute-force-copy its contents before it burned to the ground.

We shouldn't expect or depend on archive.org to be complete. I just checked my own URL, and it was only captured once each in the years 2021, 2022, and 2023. Then I looked at the snapshot from 2023 -- the first page looks fine, but the second page jumps straight back to 2016. What happened to all the years in between? I posted, and archive.org took occasional snapshots, but neither is reflected by how the pages are served up.

Yeah, I was about to say – I routinely run into posts from purged blogs I'm trying to dig up that archive.org didn't manage to catch before @staff hit the delete button. Archive.org's archival of Tumblr is absolutely nothing like complete.