slow and painful death to my enemies!

quick and merciful death to my friends!

standard type of death to everyone else

finally completed a full piece of mocha my fursona/selfsona

done completely on procreate by myself!

adults being totally useless in kids media is also a reflection of how adults interact with kids irl, adults are often deeply uncaring toward the needs and problems that children face so this is just a reflection of reality for children.

when a kid is being abused by a peer and an adult says to “just ignore it” or “he just has a crush on you”, when an adult is abusing a child and another adult says “you need to respect your elders” or “you are making this up for attention”, when a child experiences injustice adults will say “life was never meant to be easy” or “you’ll understand when you’re older”, when a child experiences something dangerous or traumatizing an authority figure says “kids say the darndest things”, when children are merely curious about the world they get told “i’ll tell you when you’re older” or “stop asking weird questions”. no wonder children resonate with stories that tell them adults are useless - they are useless a lot of the time!

bat at hornets nest maybe but "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" refers to low income communities needing to choose between survival vs being eco friendly. not you continuing to watch the harry potter movies

See also: death of the author is a form of literary theory and analysis not an excuse to give J.K. Rowling money

You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

God this makes me think of this screenshot:

"it minimizes you as a person" really wraps up my entire discomfort with the whole "oh but i'm just a girl" thing when used in most situations.

at the next inconvenience, i'm going to become a fish

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

jokerkind specibus ass

But you still recognized that as a Homestuck reference.

What were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?

i googled the words & got results from the homestuck wiki. that’s not attending the devil’s sacrament that’s investigating suspicious noises in the woods by lanternlight

there’s a big difference between “i’m sad because a character i was emotionally invested in was killed off” and “this character’s death served no purpose, was used for shock value, and is the product of bad writing and i’m upset about that”

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life

I had him, I fucking had him till he pulled the third card and I’m like “Ahhhh fuck.”

I have been looking for this clip for SO LONG

“You owe me seven dollars now”

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

Oh.

OH

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

hello, i am the top secret replier! well done for finding me - you may never see me again!

REBLOG OF SHAME since the replies are turned off D:

@madsbo its you

reblog to give prev a notification

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.

None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.

wish the human body had like a crash log or something so I could pin shit down. Why am I having a sudden spike of anxiety when I’m just sitting here? Well it looks like there’s a conflict here between my medication and the better foliage mod

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.