Cryptic on Main

happy Thursday the 20th

I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?

next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th

August 2015

October 2016

April 2017

July 2017

September 2018

December 2018

June 2019

February 2020

August 2020

You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years

It’s tomorrow. For me it’s only 10:43 so I’ll leave this here

Guys its the end of the list D:

The last Thursday the 20th

Here are the next 6 years!

May 2021

January 2022

October 2022

April 2023

July 2023

June 2024

February 2025

March 2025

November 2025

August 2026

You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years

the next 6 years

May 2027

January 2028

April 2028

July 2028

September 2029

December 2029

June 2030

February 2031

March 2031

November 2031

May 2032

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

her voice was as silky as silken tofu. but her words were as firm as extra firm tofu

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

[club mix] another horse fly. another horse fly

Imagine scarfing down chinese food like a rabid animal only for jeff bezos to come and sit next to you and insult your dead wife, so you go home and get a lobotomy about it

Tumblr severance spoilers are so incoherent I don’t even know what this could mean

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

holy shit is that kate bush

why am i so haunted

sorry hold on i couldnt find the gif I wanted but I found this one instead, why is he so cunty?

I remember meeting a guy at a bar a year or so ago who told me he worked at the international consortium that does the porn parodies of all the top-grossing film releases. He said that the whole Barbenheimer situation presented his combine with some spectacular highs and lows. Because he said that with Barbie, right, the thing about Barbie is that there's already kind of a three-way ideatic, structural parallel between the curated artificiality of Barbie as a children's toy, the curated artificiality of Barbie as a mass market film, and the curated artificiality of pornography as a genre. Add on top of that that Barbie as a film is already feeling this tension, right where it's trying to be about a character graduating from the platonic sexlessness of a children's franchise to the functional-and-frank sexuality of being a living human woman, but it's also being bogged down in the "Everyone-is-beautiful-no-one-is-horny" aesthetic restrictions of any contemporary big-budget mass-market film so the two states end up looking pretty similar, he said. I mean the film itself is very aware of that tension, right, with that joke about how "casting Margot Robbie is the wrong move if you want to make that point," all that jazz. So, all that in mind, Barbie-themed pornography, he said, is in a weird way actually kind of complementary to the extant project, gesturing at unaddressed tensions and ideas, a dark mirror, the shadow self it wants to deny but can't, there's a lot of room to play in the space. He used the adjective "Lynchian" a couple of times, he seemed super stoked, he was talking with his hands. Oppenheimer, on the other hand. Oppenheimer he said presented a problem. Because obviously you can eroticize the detonation of an atomic bomb, we're all probably three mutuals removed from someone on this site who does exactly that, but obviously that's a niche market, and moreover it's a market that has a ton of overlap with high-minded thinkers who treat the historical use of atomic weapons against Japan with the level of gravity that atrocity demands. So they were stuck. They were really stuck. He told me that they'd been pulling their hair out for months trying to square the circle and all they had to show for it was a big whiteboard with the phrase "Grope-nheimer" written on it

Jennifer’s Body (2009) || Hannibal (2013-2015)

severance once again proving that a twist is still good even after everyone already called it and that changing something just because the audience figured it out is the dumbest thing they started doing on television

Was talking with my therapist about how I get myself some sense of achievement in everyday life, and I told her that I occasionally give myself little secret self-appointed tasks, where the only goal is to manage to achieve some completely random, pointless, arbitrary goal without anyone else finding out or asking me about the whatever weird shit I am currently in the middle of doing. There's no punishment for failing to do so, I don't dread any kind of an outcome, nor is there any other reward for succeeding the task, than managing to succeed in it - a little challenge with no other goal or purpose than being a little challenge.

She said that this is very interesting, and asked me to name an example of one of these quests that I've given myself. I froze, drawing blank, since my current arbitrary goal is to see how long I can go on without having to explain to her what furries are.

This does not end the way it begins

lost in the moss

I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

all I use my powers for is making rats salute me when I walk by and they all hate it