Mettallon

To: professor@schoolname.edu Subject: CLASS3290 Question

are you mad at me

Yes

Sent from my Galaxy Dishwasher

it really is crazy how quickly people were willing to just let chatgpt do everything for them. i have never even tried it. brother i don't even know if it's just a website you go to or what. i do not know where chatgpt actually lives, because i can decide my own grocery list.

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

i remember being 13 and being told that horrific joint pain during periods is normal but it turns out my joints were almost dislocating and that's not normal

Sorry, I could never be a capitalist, I suffer from “wanting humans to have their basic needs met” disorder, where I care about people who aren’t me.

Someone once asked me if, assuming we got universal healthcare, I would be okay with the rise in “healthcare tourism” where people who are sick come to our country to get their medical bills taken care of and life-saving medical treatment cheaper than in their home countries. I was just like, yeah thats fine, I’d actually prefer it if 0 people died from preventable causes kept behind a paywall for no reason.

“even the addicts?” yeah dude did i fucking stutter

Someone should put that on a statue, like along the lines of “bring us your sick, your tired, your hungry…” or something

i actually think it's rly cool for people getting an abortion to joke about the abortion, and it's not tasteless or bad. btw. they are allowed to joke about it. and it's funny.

ok this post is about this tweet i saw and found fucking hilarious:

percabeth making 'you give me grey hairs' jokes would be peak comedy

reply guys

this looks so good!

Hey what the FUCK is this audio?

i desperately want to believe that the person who made this thought it was good music

the ray charles replicant is undergoing a severe system malfunction because of how sexy that crêpe looks

For the love of God do NOT unmute

yeah you gotta unmute or it's just some pancake, surely you've seen a pancake before.

but you ain't heard this sound before.

i feel like i would regret unmuting this if my brain didn't immediately block out the memory like some kind of cognito hazard

"sorry that probably doesn't make much sense" <- for perfectly intelligible & logical statements relevant to the present conversation

"you get what I mean." <- for unparsable non sequiturs

“as you do” <- for incredibly eccentric and even impossible actions

Random a-spec meme

Image description: cartoon of the character Sayori going like "nah" to using "aspec people can still date!" to ship aspec-coded characters, and going like "yeah" to using "aspec people can still date!" to headcanon an allo-coded character as aspec.

I wish there was some clear, efficient and polite way to express "please do not suggest any ideas that specifically circumvent the limitations that I have just specified". Like if someone says that they don't want kids, and on top of that clarifies that they can't have kids anyhow, it's not clever, productive or useful to go "oh, but you could always adopt! :)" without knowing whether they even could if they wanted to.

Because sometimes people who can't have biological children, and do not want any children, also are not mentally, physically, or financially eligible to adopt them. Also if someone gives you advice that specifically circumvents the limits you just dictated, and then gets upset and insulted when you shoot down their suggestions of how they think you could still do the thing that you can't, won't, and wouldn't want to do, it should be socially acceptable to just grab the nearest blunt object and beat them with it.

As an alternative to 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'

I present: 'salt, vinegar, and everything sinister'

born to prance in the glade forced to guard the royal capital

stop thinking about "glades" and cross your "glaive" with mine boy. a traveller approaches

*sigh* who goes there..

Hey kid, look at me.

I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.

Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.

These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.