Been thinking about this more and I think it's like, the second commandment should be a natural outflow of the first. Love your neighbor as a consequence of how you thoroughly love the Lord. If you love God with everything you are, you can't help but love your neighbor. However, the manner in which you love your neighbor will then align with God's concept of love, which doesn't perfectly match up with the world's. That's where the "speak the truth in love" thing comes in (to reference OP's tags); real love has boundaries, it does not compromise on truth, it is gentle but also firm. If I love my neighbor the way God loves him, it's so much more challenging than the way I would love him by the world's standards, it's selfless and desires and works for his ultimate good, and it's going to point upward toward our Maker even when that might feel inconvenient (or even feel "unloving" in the moment) for either or both of us.