I'm just-

we classified the colossal squid in 1925, put together from pieces found in sperm whale stomachs.

we've found them dead or dying or in distress, floating on the surface or entangled by trawlers.

but now

in 2025

100 years later

we finally find one alive and thriving in the deep Antarctic sea

and it's a baby.

If you're in the US military or National Guard, and are given an illegal or unconstitutional order, the GI Rights hotline (1-877-447-4487) is there to help give you the support you need to do the right thing by refusing it. It would be good to think about this now before it becomes a live issue for you and it would be smart of you to memorize that number.

You can reblog this without your thoughts about the US Military, btw, that's allowed.

felt the sun on my face +100000000hp

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

excuse me, no I wasn't???

congratulations to today’s lucky 10000

I wanna edit some videos together and I searched “how to edit videos together” and trusty Reddit said “use iMovie” and I thought “okay :). Can do :)” and I searched iMovie and Wow it’s on my phone time to open it for the first time ever to make video :)

Open iMovie. 6 second video of mold in app.

I don’t know what this is??

Why is it titled like this

“Um 🤓👆that’s a Homestuck reference-“ I KNOW it’s a Homestuck reference I didn’t do that

Also this is not my house nor any place I have ever lived.

why are all the tags assigning me a magnus archives fearsona :(

hey

old people are allowed to be horny. so what if your elderly neighbor posted her cowboy sex fantasy on Facebook. so what if your nana only watches westerns where the main character is shirtless 40% of the time. so what if your great aunt reads bodice rippers voraciously. they’re loving life.

what, you think your granny had 2 husbands and 5 kids by praying them into existence?

Good post. Are all of the old women in your life really into cowboys?

Hellllllll yeahhhhhhhh. North Carolina, baby.

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

Nicole Cliffe has a whole twitter thread about funny/horrifying anaesthesia stories that you should read all of, but this is definitely my favourite  

Judging from the way the stripes go, that scarf was knitted sideways. Meaning the person cast on 17 feet’s worth of stitches and knitted those 17 feet back & forth for three inches. I’m in awe.

The next Doctor’s costume looks great.

You forgot the best part

I preface this by saying I have a weird metabolism that clears through anaesthesia crazy fast (I heal quickly too; my spouse has accused me many times of being other than human).

So when I got my wisdom teeth out, my darling warned them not to leave me unattended while in recovery. “She will not take as long as you think to come out of it,” he said. “She will not stay put.”

The medical staff dismissed this as implausible. When my surgery was done, they shuffled me into recovery, ensured I was stable, and left me alone to sleep it off.

I did not take as long as they thought to come out of it. I did not stay put. A startled and slightly horrified nurse intercepted me staggering towards what I was apparently convinced was the exit, but was in fact (I am told) the gent’s.

They bundled me out to the car with embarrassing haste, probably eager to let me be someone else’s problem, and my best beloved took me home, aided by our friend Mathilda, who had volunteered to help wrangle.

They got me home and I immediately passed out on the sofa for round two of my drug nap. They ran out very quickly to the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions, figuring they’d be back before I woke up again (I have also been accused, again by my spouse, of being likely to sleep through the apocalypse).

The fools.

So… Backstory: we, as a group of friends, had been trying for a while to beat the last level of a video game, and nobody had managed it yet.

When m'darling and Mathilda got back, I was no longer on the sofa. The TV was on, displaying the screen where I had victoriously finished the game. The whiteboard in the hall had been wiped clean of any trace of grocery list or memos, and instead had a huge, smug SUCK IT, BITCHES written on it in multiple colors, and I was unconscious and snoring, facedown in the hallway, halfway through the bedroom door.

This was over ten years ago. I have yet to live it down.

take the shame out of enjoying urban animals. nothing wrong with watching sparrow/starlings/pigeons; you’re still going birdwatching. check out the antics of the squirrels; rats are super entertaining if you’re out at night. they’re all good creatures man

Do you get it now? Without due process, everyone is at risk. How are you going to prove your citizenship otherwise?

You ever see a fresh gimmick blog that has an actually somewhat funny first post and you know in your heart that

alright fine i guess. and here i was excited making my first gimmick blog. byeeeeeeee