Narwhals Disguised

CREATURE????

just when you think it couldn’t be worse, you have to battle a creature

I’m choosing to believe him because I think there should still be mystery and adventure in the world

Okay I looked this one up. He said he talked to God, made up some songs, and lost nine kilos during his 20ish hours in the water. He was also completely nude when he was rescued.

hero’s journey

and this man? Odysseus

he also ate some kind of stick

this website is so funny because every couple years we repeat the discourse of "which marginalised group is it morally okay for us to shit on?" and somehow nobody ever learns from it. we just look back and go, "hey, remember that time when everyone was joking about how ace people should all be put in meat grinders? that was so messed up. we should not have done that. anyway, here's my topical joke about how polyamorous people should all be put in meat grinders."

And this time it's Family Guy Kin

Spheal Stain Glass Window

Things that work in fiction but not real life

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

happy april foold everyone did you know about………………… bofa

haha… bofa them 

Can I just say this weird social media push of "girl cat boy cat" pisses me off there was this girl i overheard who was petting a cat who was showing her a lot of love and talking about adopting her but when she found out she was a girl cat she was like "I don't like girl cats" like what the fuck are we doing misogyny against cats now

^^ Also this “orange cat behaviour” crap. Orange cats aren’t unusually dumb or goofy, the orange ones are just easier to notice being dumb ‘cause they’re fucking fluorescent

nintendo: can't have alcohol in our child gambling games!!! solution???

Me after consuming nineteen (19) glasses of vacation juice:

today i went for a drive and saw a big ass Jeep with the license plate P@P@ BE@R and a window sticker that said “Bought with Daddy’s Money…and I’m Daddy” and I sped up my car a bit to look through the driver’s window and prayed that I’d see what i hoped to see and sure enough there was a big chunky bear with a big ol beard driving the car with this twink chewing gum on his phone in the passenger seat and even though the window was tinted i could see was another one in the back seat…and the world was right for that single moment

At the Dressing Table

“Hozier is a lesbian” “Hozier is a man written by a woman” “Hozier is like if a man was raised by lesbian mothers” “Hozier is like if a man was a woman” quick give me one reason why a man can’t be soft and gentle and poetic and in love without sounding like a terf or a misogynist

“They’re written by a woman” “they’re written by a man” is just another way gen z has reinvented gender norms but make it cool and edgy and a little queer and hopefully no one will notice that they’ve reinvented gender norms and actually are misogynistic

good for her

good for her

Good for them

A step by step process of this will be available at my Patreon on january 1st!

Daisy commission 🐶