Reblogged insufficiently-advanced
i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please
NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious
Reblogged discountprophet
It's so funny that Misa is famous. Imagine that you're a normal ass cop and you get put on a special task force to catch a mass murderer. And you meet with the expert detective in charge. And he tells you your top 2 suspects are a random teenager and like. Ariana grande
Sorry, the actual plot is funnier bc the options are actually Ariana Geande and Your Son.
Reblogged jelloapocalypse
this is basically a short horror film
Reblogged jelloapocalypse
my favourite tumblr phenomenon
Reblogged bethanythebogwitch
official cephalopod post
Reblogged bethanythebogwitch
“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do
Make her shorter if you must
Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward
Take your male alien bodytype, make her like 4 feet taller, give her an extra set of arms and sharper teeth, and as muscular as shit.
Boom.
Give her natural camouflage and make the man like this
Make them exactly the same size and shape but different colors
Give him a huge flock of babies following him around to show off what a great lay he is
Surprise mPreganté
Exactly the same but one of them has a cool hat (you decide which)
Give her a sensible haircut for successful hunting while he has a big dumb mullet so big and dumb the food can see him coming and book it
Please just for the love of pie do not begin and end with boobs
Reblogged spelldealer
Reblogged bethanythebogwitch
what "no sugar added" should mean: the natural sugars of the other ingredients like fruit are the only source of sweetness in this product
what is actually means: we added a fuckton of artificial sweeteners
i see we are all angry about this
Reblogged bethanythebogwitch
first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.
Reblogged pangur-and-grim
Horse breed of the day: Exmoor
Height: 11-12 hh
Common coat colors: Seal bay, dun and bay
Place of origin: England
prev tags!
can i blow ur mind real quick?
top left to bottom right
1) peacock appaloosa
2) reverse brindle
3) tetrarch
4) pintaloosa
5) silver dapple
6) classic champagne
#6 reminded me of lacing!! :))
Lacing is sometimes called reverse dapple, giraffe pattern, cobweb, or catbacked.
Another cool coat is chimera, I'm sure all of us are familiar with Stetson's Mr Blue; his photos have been going around the internet for years!
Unfortunately I don't know the origins of these photos. I can only assume they're from his breeder.
Reblogged charlesoberonn
Okay okay okay so I’m changing like every recognizable detail of this for privacy purposes but yall need to appreciate this
So I know how to retain CCTV footage, right? It doesn’t come up everywhere but I know my way around- and if someone gets jumped in a parking lot or whatever I can go backwards and see whodunnit
So I’m at this one place, right? And I get a call that an older woman in a wheelchair got hurt somehow and we need to see what happened.
Nobody remembers the exact time, because of course not, but they tell me she was wearing like a massive hot pink jacket and she’s in a wheelchair and she left with a medic round 09:45ish, so I figure I’ll start there.
So I find the incident itself no problem, but they need ALL footage for liability and insurance and stuff, so I have to keep going
And about ten minutes backwards, I lose her. She comes into view past a single shelf on one of the worse cameras and vanishes.
like. VANISHES. Hot pink jacket, big bulky black chair, gonzo. No idea where she came from.
So, I pull up entry cams. Zoom backwards till I see her come in… at like 06:15.
THREE AND A HALF HOURS EARLIER.
So first off, this is gonna take me like two hours minimum to write down, forget retention. And I’m kind of dying in my soul a bit but I start over there, watching her come in and meander and whatever.
At about 08:30ish she disappears.
Doesn’t leave. Doesn’t head to a bathroom. Doesn’t take her coat off. Her trail just stops.
Now, I’ve done this before. Typically, a location only has the mandatory minimum amount of room for a chair or walker to get around, so a person using one can only go forwards and it’s hard to 180. That limits options and makes it easier to follow, whereas a little unattended and fully mobile kid will zoom around in circles and shit and go who the hell knows where.
Then I see her again on the other ass end of the building, and I have to go back again to see how she GOT there.
My guys.
Her two and three-point turns are INCREDIBLE.
She’s popping on the wheels, flip, zoom, she’s out somewhere I didn’t think she could even GET to. I’ve been planning my search for places that fit a wheelchair or least-resistance fast-paths from A to B and she’s like… doing some Tokyo Drift shit.
I don’t know WHY. The whole place is basically completely accessible so long as you put up with having to reverse, but no. No, she goes where she wants.
I’ve been at this for half the day, and I still have no idea where she went for like an hour and a half.
Fuck me, I’m taking a lunch break
This is barely an exaggeration