Being an evil doppelganger has to be so fucked up like imagine meeting a better version of yourself. Some chain of events going differently that led to "you" being a better person in a way you can never achieve. Personally I'd have no other option but to try and kill them

It's always "oh no my evil clone or twin or whatever is trying to kill me" and never How is my evil clone? Says a lot about society

Me, crashing the fuck out: you think you're better than me? You think you're fucking better than me???

My good clone, dodging a glass: I mean like objectively yeah

kinda funny that there's no tariffs on the vatican but at least 10% on all other microstates in EU

italy about to invent levels of catholic corruption never seen since the 17th century

hashtag hire trans actresses to play cis characters

first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.

the thing is in hindsight i do think the hipster vs fandom blog dichotomy was a completely real and true phenomenon because to this day i will come across a social media post, youtube video, trend forecast article, etc that namedrops "2013 tumblr" and with the absolute bare minimum of context clues you can IMMEDIATELY tell whether they had a soft grunge blog or whether they were yelling about their ovaries exploding in the reblogs of a benedict cumberbatch gifset and it is ALWAYS one of those two extremes

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

happy 100k to this bastard post

Dandelions have a symbiotic relationship with little kids who make wishes

this is... not entirely false, actually 

*wrinkles nose* shouldnt you be repressing that

Can we get a round of applause for goldenrod yellow

image: goldenrod yellow with color name label and hex code #DAA520 in white. end id

checked in on my months old phone browser tabs and theyve developed computer religion? can i do a trade in

wet dog

AHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHHH MY BEL:OVED SOGGY DOGGY

ID. semi-realistic art of the pokemon vaporeon, colored in soft colors. it is chunky like a seal is, with a thick tail, short clawed toes, and a large ruff of fin-like fur around its neck. it has large red eyes, and dark blue fluff at all its joints. End ID.

mood.

[ID: A silver tabby kitten wearing a miniature fluffy leopard print coat and a gold charm around its neck. End ID.]

is he talking about his kids or the justice league? probably both

og text post

[ID: Fanart of Batman with his head in his hands saying via text post by @/nymphoutofwater, "fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit." End ID]

A friend of mine went out of town, so I'm looking after their Houndoom until they get back. He is a joyful beast, but I have yet to meet another Pokémon with such sadness in their eyes.

[image description: two pixel art illustrations of the pokemon, houndoom, inside a house. in one, it sniffs at the kitchen floor, and in the other, it looks up at the viewer with big, sparkling eyes. end description.]

[image id: a screenshot of tumblr text post draft reading "my phone glitched out and now this horrible 18th century screaming bust won't leave me alone" with a cursor visible at the end. In the bottom left of the screen, there is a half-opacity picture-in-picture overlay of a photo of a bust in a museum case. It is bald, its eyes are scrunched up, and its mouth is open in a horrible scream.]

[ID: red and white text on a background reading: "I will be vampire posting telepathically today. So if you think of sexy sexy vampires that was me." the lines "vampire posting" and "sexy sexy vampires" are red. /end ID]

official vampire post