what the fuck

sweet, might base an agricultural civilisation on this river, hope it behaves itself

might just fuck around and find out

Diversity win! This river has ADHD

Nile: You would not believe how long term you have to mismanage agriculture on my banks to start experiencing soil depletion. I will always be here for you Egypt.

Huang He: *kicks in the door* FUCK YOUR DYNASTY IT'S FAMINE TIME!!!

In Prince's funky name, amen.

Millennial here. All the above and:

Please send me the training or tutorial in a written format with maybe some screenshots if necessary. I don't want a video tutorial. I don't want to waste time trying to scroll to the exact moment in the instructions that I need and then have to pause and replay it because I missed the .01 seconds of actually relevant information.

Please. Text. Maybe some images for clarification. I can read. I promise.

Skimmable, SEARCHABLE instructions. If they're long, there should be a hyperlinked table of contents.

Elder Millennial here cosigning HARD

If you really need to show a movement, embed a gif or 15-scond-or-less video in the text, like Jod intended.

I'm really going to miss this hellsite (affectionate)

WAIT WUT

Apparently they fired the remaining senior devs, leaving very few people maintaining [tumblr], so... really no idea how much longer this beloved hellsite has left.

hello tumblrheads. with the ongoing shitshow i remembered im the spokesperson for this tumblr alternative so,

WAFRN.NET, a tumblr-style, queer-safe, alternative

wafrn is a fediverse-based* social media consisting of majorly of queer people, it has an active userbase, a ton of them doing fuck-all and having fun :]

perks!

Kingfisher and Great Egret lined up just right

Happy Birthday Big Bill!

funny you should mention that

voice acting as a profession is so funny because you'll see someone being like "voice actors need to be paid better! like [obscure person you've never heard of]" and you're like "oh I wonder who that person is, maybe I've heard them voice a character" and you look it up and it turns out they voice 137 characters in Futurama and 94 characters in The Simpsons and 96 characters in Adventure Time and every one of the My Little Ponies and 27 characters in Arcane and 96 characters in Kim Possible and 4 characters in Phineas and Ferb and 296 characters in Dexter's Laboratory and all of the main cast of Fairly Odd Parents and at least 6 characters in every Pixar movie and almost every animated depiction of Superman and 473 SpongeBob characters and they've been in every installment of Mass Effect and Halo and The Elder Scrolls and Fallout and Call of Duty and they were in Star Trek and Law & Order and they were 12 characters in the MCU and they also invented t-shirts and the colour green and they got paid a sum total of $3.27 and a mothball for all of it combined. then you go burn down David Zaslav's house with him inside

@thessalian

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

always struck when the uk government says "there is no place for knife crime in our society" because then I start trying to think of a society fully oriented around knife crime

I started writing a novel on that premise.

Havelock Vetinari is literature's most dangerous tyrant.

Astute, learned, and wickedly clever, there are no ends the man will not go to in achieving his goals. There is no one he will not manipulate, no one too important to remove by a variety of means, and no one so powerful as to threaten his position.

And this applies, most importantly of all, to himself. Who watches the Watch, after all?

But Vetinari is literature's most dangerous tyrant because he is at once, yes, a tyrant, but ALSO literature's most dedicated civil servant.

He cares for the city. And ONLY for the city. It is from this position of being the man who truly only cares for Ahnk Morpork that he derives his authority. After all, who cares as much as he does?

Vimes? Perhaps, but he's a married man and a father with private concerns that should take his attention as well (even if Vetinari has to constantly remind him of that fact). He has other things to worry about, but good job that man for sticking to his lane: a sledgehammer sized scalpel for repelling threats and keeping the peace.

Carrot? Certainly, but Carrot cares more for the PEOPLE than the CITY. His mind is on the present, keeping the ones who are alive upright and breathing and getting justice for those tragically cut short. He is not concerned with the welfare of the CITY, as such. Not with the future the next generation shall inherit.

The guilds? Self-interested fools who were happy to take what Havelock gave them: stability and a piece of the pie no sane person would eat. They are content to squabble over portions of nebulous power, and all of them recognize that if Vetinari were gone... well, it doesn't much bear thinking about, really.

The nobles? Self-interested fools who are UNhappy with what Vetinari has given them: a slow walk to total obscurity and an eternal life in the back catalogues of Twerp's Peerage. Besides, they tend to only be effective when they can convince others to foolishly do their bidding, and the market for such men has seen a suspicious dearth in supply as late.

The wizards? Certainly not. Tried that before, thank you, and everyone seems much happier when gravity remains consistent and no one randomly becomes newts. Let them remain in their university, fat, happy, and most definitely NOT doing any bloody magic.

Lipwig? Maybe. In time. If he is convinced that it is in his own self-interest and things remain... interesting. But he also has Spike and the Bank and the Post Office, and a man can only juggle so much before suddenly there's a chainsaw in the front row and an awful lot of screaming. Best to keep him in practice of course, but... no. Not yet.

Vetinari uses all of them. They are tools in his box as he tunes and fixes and cares for the Disc's greatest city. The Turtle moves, but so does the Patrician, and it is a close contest on who shifts greater mountains. It is easy to imagine more than a few of the gods on Cori Celeste are keeping an eye on him and wondering what he's up to.

Except for the smart ones. They are doubtlessly taking notes.

Okay so for international followers who aren’t aware, election season in Australia is basically the biggest comedy event of the decade. Australian culture does NOT tolerate people who try to big up themselves or rock the boat, so a bunch of billionaires and politicians suddenly appearing everywhere claiming how great they are is basically painting a giant target on their backs to be mocked, tarred and feathered.

This is so much the case that the Australian national broadcaster The ABC used to even have a whole running series during elections where they would send out fake journalists to mock politicians and crash their events to spread chaos which was one of the highest rating shows on TV.

Pranks included trying to replace the microphones at press packs with baguettes and seeing how long it takes the politicians to realise, a kid cracking an egg on a neo-nazi’s head, and a comedian chasing the Prime Minister down the street with a chainsaw.

Obviously politicians didn’t like this so eventually the show was pulled from TV, but that just left a giant hole for the internet to fill where a bunch of pranksters untethered by TV standards now turn up to all political events trying to clown on the politicians.

At the last election, the national clowning included a remix of the Prime Minister’s debate into a song called “coal makes me cum” which cut up the Prime Minister’s words to make it sound like he jerks off to fossil fuels (the guy one famously brought a lump of coal into parliament to show off how much he loves it, so it was deserved).

This song ended up getting over a million streams and hit number one in the charts during the election. Not only that it even got enough write in votes for the Hottest 100 (our national yearly song poll that’s a huge event in Australia) that it ended up ranking despite not being in the official voting list and as a result the national broadcaster had to play it on air.

The song made a laughing stock out of Scott Morrison, the Prime Minister at the time, and he and his government were absolutely annihilated on election day.

As for the second one, we inadvertently informed a bunch of people about the next election announcement yesterday when we joked about it on a poll about cum (see previous reblog). Apologies if this is how any of you are now learning about the election.

you guys will never guess what our entry to Eurovision this year is about

Why are we like this

In fairness they should never have let us into Eurovision

In fairness they should

never have let us into

Eurovision

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

We all need to be more Australian.

UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.

The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isn’t supposed to happen.

Weighing in to say:

YES, I SEE THIS ON MOBILE. HOWEVER I DO **NOT** THINK IT'S SHOWING THE ANON'S REAL IDENTITY.

The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info

I think the bug is the inbox INCORRECTLY attributing anons to neighboring, logged-in asks.

Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.

And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.

But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity

So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

CONFIRMED THE BUG IS INCORRECT ATTRIBUTION.

Thanks @thepatchycat for being a test subject. As you can see the icon being attributed to this ask is NOT the patchy cat

The pictured icon belongs to @watchingforcomets who sent me a nice ask about nail polish yesterday which I have not yet answered!

thinking again about vampirism as disability

what if you slept all day and woke at night, lonely and frustrated. what if you couldn't go to social events, or even mundane public spaces like stores. what if you couldn't see the sun. what if you couldn't go to the pool, or the beach, or the creek. what if you couldn't eat what everyone else is eating. what if you couldn't eat at all. what if your basic needs came at the cost of your loved ones' quality of life. what if you became agitated, confused, maybe even violent if your needs weren't met. what if people blamed your behavior on demons, or worse, your own inherent evil. what if people saw you as a threat to your own community. what if the default response to your suffering was either indifference or violence. what if people thought you were better off dead, that you no longer count as human, that they're doing you a favor by letting you disappear. what if people assumed you must somehow deserve all of this. what about that.