A Fool And A Rascal

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

Why is his name Puss in Boots? It's like calling a rooster wearing socks Cock in Socks

@theshitpostcalligrapher "Cock in socks"?

ya why not

most basic treatments for sickness involve some form of salt water (drinking electrolytes, gargling with warm salt water, epsom salt baths) as a way of microdosing going to the seaside

Ough you go to therapy you take your meds you learn to drive you make friends you graduate college you get a dog you rent a cute apartment you learn to love properly and then one person says something and it makes you feel like a kid again, alone on the swing

This seems to be resonating with some people. I'm sorry for that. We can sit on the swings together, if you'd like.

tumblr will never be the next pdf at this rate

i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

tattoos i mean. i’m not like, taking a couple of invertebrates out on the town

why not

@chthonicillness life could be a dream

Wikipedia article with every single word linking to another article

Penetration is a gender-neutral act. Topping is gender-neutral. Bottoming is gender-neutral. You are not more or less of a man or a woman depending on how you fuck. You are not “fake trans” for having sex a certain way. You are not any less masculine for bottoming or any less feminine for topping.

Additionally, acting like being penetrated is an act of submission is deeply rooted in misogynistic, cisheteronormative ideas of sexual intercourse, as in "penetration is something that is done to women for the sexual gratification of the man, nothing more, therefore it is inherently degrading and feminine".

A cishet man getting pegged by his cishet girlfriend is not gay, he's not less of a man or submissive by default. A cishet man getting pegged by his cishet girlfriend can be sexually dominant and simply likes to be fucked in his ass - these two can co-exist. Yet, in the eyes of cishet society, a man that likes to have his ass played with, must enjoy it because it's "degrading" , not because it simply feels good.

That's why I so heavily preach about the difference between sub/dom/switch and bottom/top/vers. Penetration can be used to increase the feeling and severity of a power dynamic, but it doesn't create one. These two things are entirely separate from eachother, unless connected willingly.

Straight guys who use tumblr are the funniest people ever literally how did you end up here

Dei hire

huh weird.

curious about how the price announcements might be affecting people's opinions like I was considering buying until i heard the game pricing and now I'm just not going to bc we can't let them think that's okay

calculus class won the vote! good luck kitty youre really gonna need it

Note: your title, not your URL--for instance, mine is "I have a few dice…one or two maybe"

im tired of him

@sunday-brunch

happy trans day of visibility

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

It's free slug

Finally some good fucking news