(post is about all varities of relationships :3)

some in-sys relationships: ive known this alter my whole life. our history is long and complex, and ultimately lead me to how i feel about them now.

other in-sys relationships: yeah i fronted with this guy once to eat 1 bagel and now we are inseparable and i think id kill for them actually

attention plural transgenders . i love you .

anybody else in here feel like they're constantly and involuntarily calculating their every thought and action. and doing it wrong

me every time I cry in front of another person: wow I can't believe I would make myself cry on purpose to garner pity and sympathy. no I don't cry except in absolute extremis. why do you ask

Sonya Massey was a paranoid-schizophrenic woman who turned to the police when she was scared and suspected an intruder inside of her home; she was a Black, mentally ill, woman shot dead and executed by a white police officer solely because she said "I rebuke you" over a pot of water. she was DUCKING DOWN behind a counter repeating the words "I'm sorry" as he advanced and, eventually, killed her. Sean Grayson, a white police officer, executed her.

her name was Sonya Massey. she was a human being who deserved to live. say her fucking name. Sonya Massey.

edit: please do not erase or negate the fact that Sonya was schizophrenic. Black schizophrenic people are more likely to die at the hands of the police as well as be brutalised by them, and by negating the fact that she was schizophrenic, you are erasing that this was an execution fuelled by BOTH racism & saneism. please have some respect and continue to say her name, thank you.

that cop therapist post is probably not wrong (i don't know the stats offhand but i would not be surprised if there's a cop to psych professional pipeline, at least for jobs that don't require grad degrees) but it's also irritating that it's missing the more fundamental point that psychiatric institutions are carceral institutions and psychiatry as a discipline serves a carceral function. serve time in court mandated 'treatment' or serve time in jail / prison. act in a way deemed too aberrant and get medicated or institutionalised against your will. etc. this applies regardless of whether your psych or therapist trained as a cop or social worker or physician and it's why people who think "defund the police" means "replace them with psychiatric intervention" are not just foolish but dangerous. psychiatry is part of the carceral apparatus, structurally; its practitioners are cops, structurally; stop redirecting this to complain about individuals or specific career paths

Sometimes we all have to remind ourselves that we’re not here to be “good representation” like a fictional character, we’re here to be human beings who are kind to one another and kind to ourselves.

keep get lot of “even though am only low support needs / only level 1 / verbal / etc… struggle a lot with autism…” n with either implied or explicitly said “not as bad as higher support needs / higher level / etc” “can’t imagine what it like for [ ]”

n as higher support need level 2/3 nonverbal autistic, want say:

yes of course be aware we exist n sometimes face extra stuff extra struggle extra ableism advocate with us be aware of experiences you may not have but

you all have just as much claim to autism & autism as disability as us

don’t need tiptoe around us

low support needs is support needs & level 1 autism is autism is disability. n struggle around that is true struggle valid struggle

don’t need be higher support needs level 2&3 semiverbal nonverbal severe autism etc to be struggle

compulsive anxiety of Must Make Sure Am Not Speak Over so say “even though only 1/LSN”, overly done, actually can feed into idea that only HrSN 2/3 struggle true struggle valid struggle n LSN level 1 not struggle enough not valid enough n so if struggle, must be HrSN 2/3. it actually water down downplay all amounts of support low/medium/high/everything in between, downplay all levels of autism 1 2 & 3

last thing want see is you all downplay self for so long n burn out n backfire, “what about me? why only about HSN level 3 nonverbal people?” n swing other way - this harm all autistics, you n us

confidently say “am low support needs autism n i struggle” “am level 1 autistic n i struggle” actually best way help all autistics, both you n me

The main difference between Level 1 autism and Level 3 autism is that both can struggle A LOT, just in different ways. Low support needs autistics have so very different lives, they struggle with things I can't do at all, but I'm sure I would be afraid of these things if I were able to do them.

The level system wasn't made to determine how much you struggle, it was made to tell others with what kind of things you likely struggle. With the assumption that we all struggle.

"Why are you filling your pockets with... are those little origami stars?"

"Yeah, I'm going to teleport to Europe for a bit, but I'm cursed to lose something that I had with me in transit every time. So I always carry like two hundred little paper stars with me."

"And that works?"

"Usually. I have an extra pairs of glasses too, and a burner phone. I thought about carrying a shirt and like... leggings or something I could roll up real small, but so far it's never taken my clothes and anyway I could always teleport right back to my room to grab more if I need to."

"Still, it means you can't carry anything expensive with you."

"What? No. Expensive is fine. I just avoid carrying sentimental stuff. Why would I care if it's expensive?"

"Because you don't want to lose expensive stuff?"

"Oh! Oh, no. No dude. Dude. I rob banks like... all the time. Also rich people."

"Wait. The thing with Elon Musk... did you... kill him?"

"Maybe? It's unclear. I teleported to him while naked and picked him up, then teleported again. I don't know where my shit goes when it disappears but uh... he's there, I guess."

What happens if I teleport naked. Like not with anything.

Goodbye your peanus

New bottom surgery just dropped

As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

That’s… not how class works

OK, so- my partner was adopted by a rich woman when he was a baby. She's from a prominent family, practically royalty where we're from. She certainly had the means to send him to fancy private school, give him good food, nice clothes/toys, premium healthcare... she chose not to. According to her he was lucky to be "adopted out of poverty" at all and should have been content with what she deigned to give him. And she reminded him of this constantly, all through his childhood.

She dangled the promise of uni in exchange for good behavior and good grades- with terms and conditions, of course. And filling her laundry list of demands was something like pulling teeth whilst jumping through hoops. In the end, did he get to go to uni? Of course not. (And certainly being queer/trans on top of it all did not help things whatsoever).

He cut her off after high school, and when I met him a year ago he had been working as (the equivalent of) an UberEats driver for a living for the last few years, including through the pandemic. (Sixteen hours a day for the equivalent of $6 (six) USD, not including the gas for his shitty rundown scooter; caught COVID twice, suffers from chronic fatigue to this day).

And to this day he still has to be selective about which of our ~leftist anarcho-commie~ friends he divulges this part of his background to- cos all they hear is "raised rich" and then suddenly he's not One of Them because "well teeeeechncially :^) you're from the oppressing class...". Like.... shit, man!

Social rules don't mean shit when it comes to abusive parents. Even rich ones.

Probably especially rich ones.

people are totally on board with the concept of "sufficiently rich people are above the law, and this is bad" but refuse to connect that to the concept of "this also includes laws that protect children from abuse and exploitation"

like we understand "the ruling classes get and maintain their wealth through cruel exploitation of those less powerful" and we can't wrap our heads around "a lifetime of this cruel and merciless behavior being valorized by your peers probably doesn't predispose you to suddenly changing gears once you have a helplessly dependent child that's totally under your control."

like yeah the rich are our enemies in this ongoing class war, absolutely, it's an Us or Them situation to save the planet. but if you don't give a shit about saving the enemy's children too, i don't think very highly of your motivation or your methods.

oh, here's a relevant example I saw just the other day:

My abusive dad made 6 figures while I was growing up. So not rich, but upper middle class. When my parents divorced, he paid the tiniest amount of child support possible, and then was consistently late on those payments. We almost lost our house at one point. My mom ran a local business that hardly made any money and I worked there for free to help out. The whole time, my dad would dangle financial assistance over our heads as a manipulation tactic. Sure he’ll pay for me to replace the broken laptop I need to do my homework… if I give him the time and love and attention he wants. He made us grovel at his feet for everything he paid for. A lot of the time, we said no. The emotional cost just wasn’t worth it.

I went no contact with him before I turned 18. When I applied for financial aid for college, I was turned down completely, because my dad had plenty of money. I tried to explain to them that he had disowned me and I would never see a single cent of that money. They didn’t care.

So yeah, I definitely feel for kids of rich abusive parents. If I went through this with just an upper middle class abuser, I can only imagine how much more fucked up it gets in the upper class. Money can and WILL be used as leverage in the abusive relationship. And often you’ll be forced to choose between money you really need and the emotional stability you’ve worked so hard for. It’s not an easy choice.

One of my parents was pretty well off on paper, but had all his money tied up in debts, and beyond that was abusive and negligent in many ways. He routinely promised to pay for college, swore it would be no problem... but when it came down to the wire, he didn't offer a single cent. I also had several scares where I almost couldn't apply for financial aid or scholarships because the forms required both parents' financial info, and what do you know, the much richer, shitbag one acted like digging up even a little bit of that info was asking for the sun and the moon. I had to fight to get him to fill in simple forms or provide info, and if he didn't then I would get no help from him nor from the finaid institutions I couldn't apply to without his info. Finaid programs just assume both parents will help their children with college costs. But this is just not always the case, even when the parents are upper-middle class or outright rich, and there's no recourse for kids whose parents won't help. Also lately I've been feeling haunted by that one 18 to 20-something year old who died in that shitty tin coffin of a Titanic submersible, even though he didn't want to go and was rightly scared to, because (so say his surviving relatives) his rich father made him go. Doesn't matter how shiny your silver spoon is if your parents get you killed. People should really be more skeptical of clear-cut, binary ways of looking at the world, especially when it's a negative simplification that dehumanizes people without regard for nuance. Intersectionality means remembering that situations are complicated in ways that might not always be obvious. Maybe that rich kid has abusive parents, or an invisible disability, or maybe they're queer and their parents use their wealth and status as a lever to try to make them act cis or straight. Or maybe they *don't* have any struggles like that but they go to all the lefty civil rights protests and help their friends whenever they need it and foster kittens or something - that's not nothing, even if they lack an intuitive understanding of what it's like to be poor. You can't just look at one single way in which a human is privileged (class, in this case) and write them off as rotten, or as having no problems of their own. Gah. /rant I'd better get off the internet if I'm in this kind of mood I guess

Can we please stop it with the “the only transmasc music is whiney ukulele shit”??? Like first of all just say Cavetown we know you mean Cavetown. Second off, Cavetown is a good artist and shaming people for liking his music is weird and gross. Third off, there are way more transmasc artists out there yall just don’t care enough to look. (Ex. Ryan Cassata, Noah Finnce, The Oozes, just to name a few).

& the way this association came about is so infuriating.

Cavetown was, for many young trans boys & transmasc kids, the first and ONLY (!!) transmasc artist they knew of, the most widely known, and one that appealed to a certain aesthetic of boyhood that many found a home in. And then because everything associated with trans boys must be mocked, Cavetown became the symbol of "haha transmascs are so annoying and effeminate and transtrenders!" And then that became "all transmasc artists are exactly like Cavetown, and this is stupid and lame and transmascs are incapable of making anything interesting." Which in turn means that so many trans men&masc who want to create music have to advertise themselves by emphasizing that they aren't annoying or lame Like Those Other Transmascs because the online queer community is so goddamn unsupportive of our art.

There's so many amazing transmasc artists out there, and specifically Black artists (Dreamer Isioma, Beverly Glenn-Copeland, Anjimile, Malaika Mfalme, Cuee), but all anyone wants to do is use transmascs as a punching bag.

Absolutely. We've had system members get injured. We've had some of them die, including recently. Its painful. But, that is our experience, and not every system may experience this.

-Natasha/Angel and Megatron

it's ok when people do things imperfectly. there are plenty of mediocre books and movies and works of art and all those people are fine and did not die from producing something that's just ok. not me though I would die