Avatar

@pepper-roni / pepper-roni.tumblr.com

Roni-31-♊️-Night Blogger

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

This is fucking insane

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

We watched this with the FC literally last night so I'm delighted to reblog this again. What a fucking movie.

Just said to @petermorwood last night, "I'd say it's time for a rewatch." Gonna do that right now. (If I have to sit here doing this Mailchimp crap, at least I can have Yzma yelling "Why do we even have this lever?!" in the background.

Remember that time that Trudie Styler was allowed to make a Making Of Documentary about Kingdom of the Sun/Emperor's New Groove because her husband (Sting) was hired to do the music and this was part of his contract, but the doc showed how much of a disaster the making of this movie was so Disney refused to release it but then it got leaked on the internet and now the internet archive has it?

The sooner yall remember that Hollywood is the propaganda arm of the US military, the sooner yall will stop fangirling over a bunch of your White boy faves making war criminals look good becos that's strategic too.

Also, lmao at these tweets:

"Everything is based on memory", cool bro will you include this then?

Ray Mendoza sir, is your memory long enough to remember the death toll of Iraqi casualties as a result of the Iraq war?

you don’t gotta tell me to boycott the Nintendo prices by not buying bc i don’t have the money to get them anyways

‘guys don’t spend 600-700 dollars on the new nintendo products to send a message’ im way ahead of you man

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

I don’t really Go Here but u can always rely on this man to read a right wing politician’s outfit for filth

I mean. Just devastating 😭

This man has LETHAL comebacks. Idiots keep trying to get one over on him and he has never missed

Actually no I'm double reblogging this I found the one where he *calls a guy's tailor* to confirm his suit isn't actually bespoke

You cannot win in his arena. This isn't "if you come at the king you better not miss" this is "don't fight a shark in the water"

I gotta add this one

he alerted the FBI about a january 6th rioter because he noticed their ugly shoes lol

“Is your blood also off-the-rack?”

I would never survive if someone said that to me after trying that shit goodBYE

I’d love to see a version of Julius Caesar where he takes the beware the Ides of March warning seriously like “oh shit. good heads up man thanks” and he goes into it with his own knife. He calms down a bit when he see’s all his best friends like “yea, the squad is here and everyone is strapped. nice”

I don’t know why this is making me laugh so hard

Because I am very funny

Julius: I have a bad feeling about today. Brutus, you have my back, right?

Brutus: … Yes. Absolutely.

my wife tried to do the thing where you pull a tablecloth really fast and the dishes stay in place but instead of a tablecloth it was a towel and instead of dishes it was our poor long suffering cat that was just trying to sleep on said towel. poor baby got whipped across the room fast enough that its meow got dopplered into meeeeeeOOOWWwwwwww

Avatar
nayohme

Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs

Avatar
coomerfrau

my brother’s grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one boochie. I hate its immortal suffering.

WHWHAHAHAHAVEGEDHDHWHAHAHAHA

Avatar
smokeweedinbong

grandmas love to have complexes

Avatar
pruane2

Are we just ignoring the person that got hit by an electrical blast

She’s just doing it for attention

Avatar
beste-glatisant

my ex’s grandmother did that with black standard poodles she named Precious and told no one that they were different dogs until one of her sons came by one day and noticed that Precious had suddenly become a puppy after 30 years

so she didn’t actually replace him with puppies bc that would be too obvious, she got younger dogs who were still old enough to pass as the previous dog and she had a habit of giving the dog makeovers (dying his grey hairs back to black , painting his nails etc bc “it’s good for his self esteem”) which made it less obvious when an older greying dog was replaced with a younger model. my uncle figures it out bc he moved back in with her to help take care of her and she couldn’t keep it from him when the dog switch happened

Avatar
beste-glatisant

YOU DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT THE DOG MAKEOVERS FHSHSH

Beste-glatisant’s ex got them with an electrical blast as well. Shocking post. Absolutely shocking. Stop reblogging to contain the voltage

Flshshfldlshdjkdkdjfhdhdfh

OK can someone call an electrician? I don’t think this post is up to code.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.