Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.

By Talos this can't be happening

reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.

why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Honestly you don’t even have to change the genre much. Guy probably went through quite the ordeal because of all the people trying to get to Indy.

Day 1: “Professor Jones, hate to bother you but there’s an assassin trying to kill me, do you have...yes I see it...*gunshots* just to make sure, is there any paperwork I can file or should I just call the police?”

Day 85: “Oh fucking try me, I have 84 papers to grade because that lazy asshole went off to fucking Burma in the middle of fucking finals week, if you don’t leave right the fuck now I will awaken that ancient artifact in the corner and turn your intestines into fucking snakes.”

also, don’t forget: the movies are set in the 1930s-50s

so please imagine this 20-year-old girl who’s had to practically fight god to convince everyone that, no, she would NOT be happier with a degree in home economics and yes, she DOES want to be an archaeologist. she’s had to deal with male grad students trying to steal her research and constant patronizing questions about whether she can really handle the dirt and insects out in the field. even Indy, who stands up for her when the department leadership tries to pull Some Bullshit, sometimes treats her like a glorified secretary just out of habit

when the bad guys show up, they are therefore faced with a young woman who exists in a permanent state of simmering rage. she has a sensible wool skirt and practical oxfords and a baseball bat and you can fuck right off if you’re trying to pull this nonsense right after one of her professors just called her “sweetie” for the dozenth time

Okay idk if the timing and logistics match up at all but i just have a fever thought that his TA is none other than Mrs Evelyn O’Connell. Just think about it.

Jones: Are you sure you’re up for this position?

Evie: Dr Jones I assure you that despite being a woman I-

Jones: No no it’s not that, it’s just that there’s a lot of… weird artifacts that come through my door

Evie: Oh, well I actually have some experience with weird

Jones: and sometimes it can get dangerous…

Evie *smiling*: I can handle that as well

(Later in the school year, during a shoot out)

Jones: You weren’t kidding! *gunshots*

Evie pulling out a grenade and chucks it: These ruffians aren’t half as bad Imhotep, and he was nothing compared to midterms *explosion*

Evie: Oh dear they seem to have brought more friends. Pass me my bag Professor Jones if you’d please. 

Jones: Sure Evie *hands her the bag* 

Evie: *pulls out an old fashion pistol with a large bell* 

Jones: I don’t think that’s going to be enough. 

Evie: Oh it’s not. I’m phoning my husband *fires a flare through the window* 

Jones: I doubt stiff upper lip gent is going to help us right now Evie. 

Evie: I whole heartedly agree Professor Jones.

*A moment later Rick crashes the car through the wall and pulls out a tommy gun. He screams at the top of his lungs as he rushes the bad guys* 

Evie: Luckily my husband is American.

This continued to get better and better as I went.

someone write this fic, and let me know when you post it.

gun to your head, you HAVE to make an R-rated scooby doo movie. What do you do

completely normal silly movie but shaggy hits a bong in every scene

its a different bong each time BTW

Also he and Scooby both get to say fuck.

Could we crash tumblr if we all posted the word "crash" on the 1st of april 2022, 12:35 EST?

Everyone schedule

Pm

Doing it again since I accidentally put the wrong time zone

So everyone can find their time :3

You may ask, "Jenna, why do you want this? Isn't there enough suffering in the world?" Well, you are right. But I want to scare the owners of this site. Not @staff, you know damn well they don't actually call the shots. No, i want to scare the people who make decisions. I want them to know that we can act as a unit and wreck shit on our own accord, that this community can move mountains. I want them to hesitate next time they make an announcement. Popular sovereignty, motherfuckers.

I know most people know this but some people in the notes don't, so reminder that you don't have to wake up or anything to post it, just schedule the post like this:

now you just hit the blue schedule and forget about it until the day it happens 👍

oh hell yeah im doing this gamers join us

i love this because everyone ive seen who's reblogged this is like "yeah okay whatever" like nobody's really excited about this it's just something we all feel the need to do because it's our duty to keep this website as uninhabitable as the fucking mariana trench

you know how everyone treats women like we’re ancient after 30 i think we should lean into that. i want retirement. i want senior discounts

guide 4 teens

hgtv show hosts: we made this dark disgusting house into a nice bright warm cozy masterpiece

the house:

needs a pop of color . . . I think some red accents would really give it that homey feel :)

A brief summary of how user engagement is tracked on Tumblr, for the newcomer:

(For those going “how is this not obvious”, it’s about prior expectations, bro. On many major social media platforms, using the built-in sharing tools does divert user engagement from the original post. For example, as noted above, quote-retweeting on Twitter causes likes to accrue to the quote-retweet instead of the original tweet. This is because Twitter is hostile to human life.)

It’s really good for stuff like this to go around every once in a while!  Strange as it may seem, people may in fact migrate here from Twitter or Instagram, where this stuff works differently and where there are different expectations of engagement.

DON’T FORGET - *most* Tumblr users DO NOT MIND if you engage with their OLD posts!  (Apparently on Instagram they do? this baffles me.) 

Many also don’t mind if you “spam” their notifications with a bunch of likes or reblogs in a row.  

Tumblr has a rich culture of Very Old Posts continuing to make the reblog rounds, and people become fond of them.

Also, unlike Twitter, you can reblog the same post multiple times.  Heck, you can reblog the same post every hour on the hour for days. (Please don’t.)  But you do see a lot of “oh this came across my dash again, must reblog” with posts users are fond of.  This is fine.

Tags ARE a divine mystery.  People use the tags both for organization (inasmuch as this works, sometimes), and for added commentary.  Commentary added to the tags will generally be seen by those who follow that person and see their reblog on their dash; but the OP and whoever they reblogged it from can also see the tags in the notifications. 

So again – you can use the tags for commentary, and many people do. But people WILL see it.  It just won’t “stick” with the post… necessarily.  Tumblr also has a culture of people seeing some tags they think are relevant or clever, and reblogging a post with someone else’s tags included.  So bear that in mind as well – something you put in the tags could get “pulled up” into a reblog chain by someone else, and this is generally seen as fine.

As a noob me self, nice!

what if I wasn’t tired all the time imagine the possibilities

a PSA created by Ron Wimberly ( @d-pi ) and the National Lawyers Guild. Meant for NYC in specific but good advice to anyone out there. “I am exercising my constitutional rights to remain silent and have an attorney” and “I do not consent to a search” are the only things you should ever say to a cop asking you questions.

Wording is incredibly important here guys! Do not say “I want a lawyer”. That can be interpreted as a statement of fact and not an invocation of your rights. Specifically say that you are invoking your right to an attorney and that you are invoking your right to remain silent

And if you speak after you say "I am invoking my right to remain silent", you will need to re-invoke your right to remain silent as speaking voids that statement. Be careful! Don't let them goad you into breaking your silence. I'd even say make sure to invoke your right to a lawyer and deny a search then claim your right to remain silent, even if it's in the same sentence, to avoid any 'misunderstandings'.

unrelated to last post but topical: as the child of lawyers, I got one thing drilled into me from age 10: don’t fucken talk to cops. never talk to cops.

Don’t talk to cops about insignificant things, it’s a trick to get you into a talking-mode to gradually work to more sensitive questions.

Don’t talk to workers inside a police station (medics, cleaners, people bringing bitter cold coffee), assume they’re all cops.

If you absolutely must talk to a medic, deliver your essential medical information to them in one sentence and go back to ‘no comment’ after that. Do not get in a conversation.

Don’t accept a lawyer offered by the cops or a lawyer you don’t know. ONLY take the lawyer provided by the activist organization you’re part of and ask to see their ID. Do not believe people who claim they represent the same firm. If in doubt, keep your mouth shut. 

I've been detained. I've been arrested. I know the instinct when you're around other human beings is to try to relate to them on a human level. I get it, being detained is scary, you're in cuffs, maybe you're in the back of a squad car, or in a van in the event of mass arrest. The first thing you're going to want to do is just... Talk to someone. Anyone. To remember that we're all human here, or to try to win them over.

Don't. Cops aren't people. They aren't your friends, and they aren't there to protect you. They're the bloodhounds of the state. Every comment is a hint, every question has ulterior motives, and they are just trying to pump your for information.

The coffee is a trick, your one call is monitored, they are not your fucking friends. You're an enemy combatant and every single interaction you have with them is a component of an interrogation. Close your mouth, ask for legal counsel, and always remember, cops aren't just allowed to lie to you, it's one of their favorite things to do.

you cannot win a cop over. you cannot befriend a cop. a cop does not see you as a person, they see you as a perpetrator - you should view them the same.

Also be careful about anyone in the same arrest van / cell as you because - cops are known to put undercovers in cells to interrogate the arrested - everything is monitored all the time

Comfort and support your comrades, but do not share personal details or discuss anything that could be used against you.

indigenous religions need to be acknowledged and treated with respect and so do indigenous sacred lands.

fun fact: just because something isn’t sacred to you doesn’t mean it isn’t sacred!

Thank you, @ blimpeh on Twitter for this warning! ZERO TOLERANCE FOR TERFs and transphobes. Also don’t exclude male and non-binary witches! That’s not the witch way.

I will always reblog warnings about this book. I've seen way too many people post pics of this book because it's "aesthetically pleasing" or whatever. Lister is a fucking terf and doesn't deserve the revenue from people buying her book.

Instead, consider checking out this website for a list of lgbtq+ positive/inclusive works. Here's a sneak preview of a few of the books mentioned above.

rb if you’d wipe all pedophiles off this earth

It’s sad that there are only 13k notes on this..m

put this on all 3 of my blogs

Bye bitches

This is painful. I have no words..

As horrid as this is, don’t look away. Esp if you’re white. You probably never knew this happened. I didn’t. Knowledge is power, and if we want to be effective allies, we need to face the true history of what black America has suffered.

Educate yourselves for the sake of a future free of discrimination and oppression.

Im not black but I feel that rage too

This poor child….