rosesrded

Oh to be sleepy and crawl into bed with someone who's warm and safe and you know will take care of you in all the right ways, who'll hold you and tell you that its all gonna be okay.

Let me give you, the internet, and mostly myself, some executive function advice.

Sometimes, when you find yourself somehow unable to do a thing you need or want to do, one issue might be that your brain has subconsciously tacked on extra tasks, and those tasks are making the whole thing too overwhelming!

Tl;dr: don't do that!

For example, I like to track the books I read and I've been meaning to add a few books I've recently finished. But my brain has added that I should also write a review, and the exact dates I read them (which I can't even remember) and oh by the way I should finish moving my stuff over to storygraph and before I know it that 1 task has turned into 4! And my executive functioning says no.

In fact, while I was getting the idea to write this post, my brain went "wouldn't it be nice to also write a post about y and tag them all properly and go back through my posts and find all mental health posts and tag those too" and wouldn't you know it. 4 tasks.

Discard those extra tasks. Don't even write them down. They don't matter. Strip it down to the 1 task you started with and only do that.

Sure, you won't have achieved some theoretical better end result but that end result was never gonna happen anyway. It was paralysing you from getting the initial task done. And maybe once that initial task is done, you can get to one (1! not 4!) additional task. Later. Not now.

Half-assing is better than no-assing.

"What if you mess up? What if you realize you’ve already forgotten the materials you start studying?What if you initially focus but feel like a sedated zombie after a while?"

Can't you change these questions in your mind to - What if you can actually focus well for a long time? What if you do good enough to at least feel relieved? What if you can feel some sense of control over your life? What if you didn’t forget as much as you thought? What if you're way more competent than you thought? What if consistent hard work actually brings what your childhood self had desired instead of disappointments and exhaustion? What if it solves your lack of appetite and anxiety and thought spirals?

What if you asked the second set of questions more often? You already subconsciously know it would've lessened your stress a lot. Can you please stop thinking of self-hatred and pessimism as inseparable parts of your identity?

You're throwing yourself on the verge of extreme uncertainties. Do you deserve this much indifference? Ik you're afraid. But there isn’t any way to eliminate the fears without working on things while being afraid at first.

And even if you're lagging way too behind, you can manage to improve better than you're expecting at present. Trust this for at least a little time and trust everyone who trusted you.

i'd kill to have a voice note feature on here because i have so much to say but no will to type ugh

I would legit have my own podcast then lmfao

The version of you right now is deserving of love. Not you two years ago when you had more of your shit together, or the five years later version where you’ll surely be thriving. The version of you right now. The one that might just be okay, or is really struggling, or is bored and unproductive. That version deserves love. Having trouble accepting this is fine, but actively denying it is not. Your value is intrinsic, and finding confidence in that is mandatory.

it's like.. i've got a little over 1 year of this left. this isn't perfect, i'm practically counting down the days until i leave. this is living with my parents and tiptoeing around each other to full blown arguments and slamming my door. this is being in a place where i can go nowhere, where i stay in my room all day, in front of my laptop. but this is also staying in a room i share with no one, decorated with things i've had for years and years. more than a decade i've lived in this house, it's all blurred by. you never experience something like your childhood bedroom ever again. sitting under my desk, talking on the phone with my friend, if i squint i can remember i had my first kiss sitting under this same desk 7 years ago. this is my last year of high school, before i move god knows where for college, to my new adult life. even if i stay right in this same house, it won't be the same. idk how to explain but it just won't..

can i not turn my brain off? i'm so scared lmfao

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

 A friend threatened me to repost so I will!

Basically, there r tons of fake asses on tumblr who just want comments and followers, so someone started this to see who's actually a good friend. Everyone I tag better repost (and tag other people and preferably threaten them in a creative way as well) bc I'm high on caffeine and newfound lesbianism and will resort to violence.

@ey-theys-was-coronas

@fangirlhehe

I would tag more people but they're the only ones I've really interacted with-

Hey queeeeeen!!!!! How ya doing with your newfound lesbianism?

@i-got-poisenality @gone5doll @theoneandonlypatches @above-the-foldd

I know I didn’t tag everyone, I just can’t remember all of my mooties and I’m tired lol

Uhhh- ill try to tag everyone i can remember, its been a minute since ive been active ok here.

@more-sonorous @ey-theys-was-coronas @newsies-lodging-house @sprace-javey

I'll do as many as I remember

@sobsloudlybutprettily @imnotactually-a-crouch @prongsie-piee @werewolf-from-mars @my-castles-crumbling @bigmack2go @ey-theys-was-coronas

@swirling-romantics @fifisettos @xerussquirrel @urgayoldercousinmags @nolonger-ams @soupdeewoop @eternally-wandering @liv-in-the-chaos @clodyghost i think thats most if not all of my people

@indigostation @astronomical-anteater @turtlesinatree @ literally anyone who isn't here just for meaningless engagement farming

I'm too bad at interacting with people for this lol

@starkayezer @blueberry-b4gel @astarsmindd

making actual friends yesssss

@woods3115 @mairon-goth-minion @sunshinerainbowsandlollipops @sage-way

not great at friends either🥲🥲 but here

@marauding-almond @ravensncrowsx @ariannabananasstuff and all my other mutuals

im sorry I’m not very active at the moment guys but I still care about you very much

@ramblingsfromthytruly @bostonharbor @t1oui @blueberry-b4gel @ravensncrowsx + everyone that I’ve frogetten

it's ok to have a life outside of tumblr almond xx

i am NOT all that social but stilllll hereeeee

@busycryingoverthemarauders @mikasumi @eatingpizzainbedbecauseimscared @rosesrded many many more ppl ily all!!

Love you too <33

Social anxiety always gets the best of me :(

@liacademia @yourstrulyhri @meowingbackatcats @moonlight-n-moondust @wilpadude @astra-wberry @berlinmacaw @lavhere-blog @pxasee + everyone else I've ever interacted with <33

Here's the link to the video

👏 SAY 👏 IT 👏 LOUDER 👏

👏🏻 FOR 👏🏻 THE👏🏻 PEOPLE👏🏻 IN 👏🏻THE 👏🏻 BACK👏🏻