The face of a man who is willing to risk it all
how many times do you think eddie called buck trying to catch him during a break to tell him about his day and thought 'man they've been out for a long time it must be a tough call' when it went to voicemail. at what point did the little ball of anxiety in his stomach grow big enough to start calling the rest of the team. did he start searching for news alerts about the 118 when no one answered. did he have to think of jello when he saw. did it work.
i want buck to introduce his kid to bobby. i want him to hold a little chubby hand in his big hand and use it to point at bobby, old and grey, across the room. i want him to duck his head so the little baby can hear him better even though his mouth is right there, and i wanna hear him say "see that? that's grandpa over there" and i want to see bobby not even looking at them, because he's standing by the grill with an apron and a serious expression on his face. and i want buck to say to little buck jr, "you see him over there? that man taught me everything i know. he's the one who helped grow me up so i can be the best dad i can be to you, and he's going to take care of you too." and then i want little baby buck to babble incoherently because he is a baby after all, and i want him to reach up and grab buck's nose with his little tiny, chubby baby hand, with his little, tiny chubby baby nails digging into the soft skin of buck's nose and i want buck to laugh and say "ouch" loud enough for bobby to look up, finally, and wave with his grill tongs. that's what i want. that's the future they deserve to have.
Is that what you did? Yes. So many times.
9-1-1 | LET GO (1.02) 9-1-1 | SICK DAYΒ (8.14)
Huh, what do you know? Buck CAN open his mouth and 'force' someone to stop running. Hope he can find some use for his new powers on one particular runner. It's not wrong to demand things from your romantic partners, I don't think I have ever seen Buck do that yet (for his selfish ends, not to help someone else).
Hello, love! Here are 332 brand new words for you!
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βYou asked to talk because you had a plan in mind. So, lay it on me.β
βHe canβt be alone right now.β Tommy begins, frowning.
βDidnβt Eddie go straight there from his shift?β
βThatβs not what I mean.β Tommy chews the inside of his cheek and leans back in his chair. βI donβt want to smother him, Bobby. I donβt want him to feel like he canβt trust us. But he needs someone with him when heβs not on shift. Or he might be the next call the 118 responds to.β
βWe canβt babysit him, Tommy.β
βI know.β He snaps, frustration bleeding through. βI know that. But we can make sure he doesnβt have to be alone. You can talk to my captain and get my shifts. Align them with Evanβs. When heβs off shift, I can pick him up. I can-β
βYou will burn yourself out and he will most likely hate you for it.β Bobby says.
βThen what the fuck am I supposed to do?β Tommy growls. βBecause I canβt sit here and watch him kill himself-β
βTake a breath, Tommy.β Bobby waits for him to do it once. Twice. Three times. Then he smiles sadly and Tommyβs chest constricts. βI never said I wouldnβt do it. I was warning you of the most likely outcome.β
βI donβt care if Evan hates me. He already does.β Tommy says, speaking around the sudden lump in his throat. βBut I would never forgive myself for not being there if he needed someone. If anything happened to himβ¦β
βMaybe you should tell him that.β Bobby suggests kindly.
βHe doesnβt want to hear it. Itβs a little late to tell him I love him.β Tommy laughs mirthlessly and drags his hand over stinging eyes. Heβs got no idea what to do next, but that doesnβt matter. Heβll keep taking care of Evan until his last breath if thatβs how long it takes. Might as well be in for a penny, in for a pound.
I've thought a lot about how I would develop and execute Buck and Tommy's eventual reconciliation throughout the rest of the season. It's surprisingly different from what I initially wanted, which was definitely an 8Γ15 makeup β which I would still very much love, don't get me wrong. This isn't a prediction, to be clear β as I highly doubt we'll actually get anything like this β it's simply what I would personally like to see, as a viewer and BuckTommy fan.
8Γ15:
While Buck and Tommy reunite and work together, they do not reconcile.
Buck is too distraught over Bobby. Tommy doesn't feel that it would be right to even focus on their relationship at a time like this, and Buck agrees. They hug, Tommy clearly wants to kiss Buck, but it doesn't happen.
"See you at the ceremony, Evan. And... I'm very sorry we couldn't save everyone."
"Yeah. Yeah, me too."
"Bye, Evan."
"Hey, Tommy?"
"Yeah?"
βThank you. For being there. For trying.β
"Of course. Anytime, anywhere."
When Tommy is far enough away, Buck smiles through sad (for Bobby) and touched tears (for Tommy). "Yeah, I see that."
8Γ16
Maddie demands that Buck visit for dinner after the ceremony. "You're hurting, and I'm not letting you do that alone. You're coming over. And bring a bag, because you're staying over."
Off Buck's expression. "Just for tonightβ¦ and maybe tomorrow.β
Buck and Tommy do not interact at the ceremony, save for a brief "How are you doing?" from Tommy and some silent exchanges before and after the march. After the ceremony, Buck watches Tommy from afar while deep in thought, but we don't know what he's thinking.
At Maddie and Chinney's, we see Maddie, Chimney, Buck... and Tommy sitting at the kitchen table.
After dinner, we realize that Tommy is only in attendance as a friend. Still, there's a lot of unspoken (yet affectionate) tension between the two men, and Maddie quietly observes the two from afar.
After Tommy leaves, Maddie tells Buck to go for it.
Buck is surprised, "I thought you said I should learn to be alone. Besides, after Bobby..."
"Yeah, I don't know why I said that. That was silly. I guess I thought I was protecting my baby brother... but I see that I was doing anything but, wasn't I? Anyway, I just remembered something. I'm not sure why, because I'm confronted by it every day. So are you." Maddie laughs solemnly.
"What?"
"Life... can sometimes be very fleeting... and just too unpredictable and short."
Buck doesn't respond to that.
8Γ17
Tommy doesn't appear. Buck mainly mourns Bobby, but there is a scene where Buck pulls out his phone and hovers over Tommy's name. He puts the phone back in his pocket. Not this time.
8Γ18
The big Buck and Tommy reconciliation happens surprisingly early into the episode before the big main event (Bobby being alive or something else). Buck is the one to initiate it when Tommy stops by, you know, as a friend, to see how Buck is doing.
Tommy is hesitant - citing Bobby as the main reason and at least partially meaning it - but Buck pushes back. "That's bull. If you don't want to be with me anymore, then just say that. But if there's one thing my time at the 118 has taught me, it's that... life is fleeting. And too short, to not fight for what I want. No, for what I know is right. And Tommy, I'm sorry l didn't make it clear. I really thought I had, but I guess not. You are right. Not Eddie, not anyone else. You."
They agree to get back together, but also agree that they need to really sit and actually, you know, discuss their issues some more before truly moving forward.
We get one last moment at the very end with Buck and Tommy. I have two scenarios in mind.
Scenario 1:
Buck and Tommy cook dinner at Buck's (or Tommy's) place. The last we see of them is Tommy cooking at the stove, turning and noticing Buck watching and smiling at him, and Tommy smiles back. We pan back to Buck, who hasn't looked this content - in maybe ever? He's in deep. They both are.
Scenario 2:
We finally get to see Tommy take Buck on a date via helicopter.
Unfortunately for us, we only see Buck and Tommy hugging and kissing with a sunset backdrop before climbing aboard. This date is theirs and theirs alone.
Bobby was so fucking sexy in this episode. Running back to save the baby before the car exploded. Seeing him all happy with Athena and telling May and Harry that theyβre building their dream home. Taking the badge from the lab manager to go down to save the trapped scientists. Doing surgery on Hen to save her life with Chim coaching him through it. Offering to be the one to defy the Army and risk prison to get the antidote to save Chim.
This was an all time sexy episode for Bobby.