there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them
I use spicy to describe food
my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it
Twilight
civic duty
context: the heritage foundation is trying to launder data in support of doge by sending a survey to only their supporters and using blatantly leading questions. the survey takes less than 5 minutes and they don't verify your email
you CAN do it multiple times if you so wish
Oh good we broke the first one. New link is here, same story.
Cannot even make this shit up
Just did this, took 2 min!!
my infamously data skewing followers rise up!
My followers urge to scew poll results knows no bounds
You know, as the concept of “zombifying fungi” becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a “brain parasite.” So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)
It’s funny how many people are replying “but that’s worse!” like you didn’t know that’s exactly why I put a smiley
The good news: you get to pick your new soulmate! (You can define "soulmate" however you want: platonic/romantic/partners in crime/etc. But they will be in your life, constantly.)
The bad news: you don't get to pick where they come from.
Spin this wheel until you get a fandom with characters that you recognize. As soon as you do, stop. One of those people* is going to be a constant presence in your life, whether you like it or not. So choose wisely.
*broadly defined
tbh no april fools gag tumblr ever pulls will ever be as good as the lizard election of 2016 staff put more effort into that than the rest of this website combined and it shows
for those of you who werent here in 2016 on april fools that year the entire fucking website was transformed and there was an election for a position that wasnt even ever specified and the candidates were four lizards (or three lizards and a salamander as a scandal would later prove) and it was called decision2016
each lizard had their own 3d models and tumblr blog and campaign and there was also a tumblr blog dedicated to reporting on the election and they made like whole ass news broadcasts with a guy in front of a green screen
you could vote for your favorite candidate and there was a built-in function that let you make and post a campaign poster
in case anyone was wondering the winner of the election was mop. relatable and reliable. #Mop Could
lest we forget
This was absolutely the biggest April Fools effort I ever witnessed while on staff. I already posted about this in an ask but here’s more of the shit that went down behind the scenes.
- Like all April Fools, this was done entirely through volunteer work on Staff. No one was forced to work on April Fools, it’s always employee-initiated and driven, even if it needs approval from leadership.
- The prank almost didn’t go through because leadership felt that the lizards weren’t relatable enough, so the compromise was to give them hats.
- The video updates on the Decision 2016 blog were greenscreen Fiverr actors that were all recorded months? Weeks? in advance? I wasn’t on creative so I don’t know all the deets about how those were made.
- As mentioned in my post, the victory speech by Mop was one of our designers screaming as loud as she could in a closet near the end of the day. The full audio was never posted but staff kept passing around the scream on slack and laughing about it for months afterwards
- There was a “war room” dedicated to advancing the election narrative as votes came in, posting updates in real time and also pushing changes to code as necessary (for bug fixes and what not)
- The votes were real and the “election” was decided by real users, even if the graphics and whatnot were exaggerated for comical effect. Mop won because Mop won. Democracy at work
- Someone brought in their own lizard to celebrate the proceedings. It was a bearded dragon
- This was the culmination of what was probably the most cohesive and imaginative (and largest) creative team Tumblr ever had. Unfortunately almost all of them are now long gone, and Tumblr Creative is now just a skeleton crew compared to their peak
- Wretched Tooth Doesn’t Like To Talk About Himself
- People drew porn of the lizards and posted it on Tumblr. Staff saw it and were sending it to each other on the company Slack. We thought it was great. I mean, terrifying, but great
- This picture of David Karp is my favorite photo of David Karp I have on my phone
a whole chapter of my tumblr memoir will be “lizard election 2016”
it was the first project i ever led myself, and i thought i’d be fired for sure by the end of it. completely worth it. would do it all again.
my only regret, echoed by @zacksultan and a few of the other creatives, was that we didn’t get BuzzFeed and other press in the war room with us at the time. it was magical.
okay so my friend who did the photography is still sifting and editing through the rest of the photos but here are a few that pass muster largely unedited (i did a bit of poking at the colour grading in the default photo app)
shoutout to my lovely photographer, @sharlit-and-seedot for capturing the essence of man... tm
we're gonna go for some afternoon shots next tuesday!
the plan is to hit up casa loma and the distillery district for some cool afternoon and evening shots, so if you see a plague doctor shuffling around Toronto on tuesday, come say hi!
ALSO if any of yall have any funny captions/edits for these photos PLEASE MAKE THEM AND SHOW ME. MEMEIFY THE FUCK OUTTA THESE IMAGES!!!
I think i got my cryptids confused
also second backrooms cause i couldn't decide which i liked more
BACKROOOMING MEEEEEEE!!!!!!
oh also @blu-jei made a full transparent version of this one ^ so like. here you are tumblr, free paper doll!
colorblind pride flag just dropped
(for those of you who have been living under a rock since late 2019, automattic owns tumblr)
people need to realise that a poor little meow meow must be a character who has committed atrocities you cannot poor little meow meow a good guy that’s not how this works
what this post has shown me is that so many of people on this hellsite cannot distinguish between a poor little meow meow and a blorbo from my shows smh
Hope this helps!
who made this post
Another hit post from God themself
Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Gotham City Breakout
why does every dc lego movie understand the characters on a deeper fundamental level than their live action ones
Mordred Manor! (with close-ups under the cut)
edit: i just put up some new drawings on my ko-fi, so if you wanna print this out as a poster or something, you can find it there at full resolution in the 'Misc Art' folder! :) (personal use only!)
I catch a glimpse of myself on the television screen on the wall that’s airing my arrival live and feel gratified that I appear almost bored. Peeta Mellark, on the other hand, has obviously been crying and interestingly enough does not seem to be trying to cover it up. I immediately wonder if this will be his strategy in the Games. To appear weak and frightened, to reassure the other tributes that he is no competition at all, and then come out fighting. - "You know what my mother said to me when she came to say good-bye, as if to cheer me up, she says maybe District Twelve will finally have a winner. Then I realized, she didn’t mean me, she meant you!” bursts out Peeta. “Oh, she meant you,” I say with a wave of dismissal. “She said, ‘She’s a survivor, that one.’ She is,” says Peeta.
We here at Sylph Co. are proud to announce the opening of an official tumblr account. By manufacturing and distributing Pokéballs and Trainer Acessories, we're not just selling supplies, we're selling connections between people and pokémon
[Image Description: the "silence, brand" image followed by twelve pictures of Unown spelling out the words "kung pow penis" letter by letter, followed by a gif of Zorua exploding an offscreen opponent. Each image is posted by a different person. End ID.]
Media preservation. Thank you catgirldragon
