@snowymaltese / snowymaltese.tumblr.com
“It’s been a long week,” I say in the middle of the day on Monday.
Im at work and nobody knows that im painting Doris from Shrek in Pre-Raphaelite style on my ipad.
In case anyone thought I was lying, here is the proof!
My reference was Hanging the Mistletoe by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (Its hard to match with their skill but that lady reminded me of Doris very much)
So very crash!
Who’s going to go back to 2015 and tell past me all about how this meme became sentient and destroyed the government?
If you ever find yourself in a horror scenario, remember to blush really hard when the ghost/demon/monster appears. If you do that fast enough you might be able to shift the genre.
This applies doubly if the antagonist is more abstract. If a house starts growing teeth and flesh you've gotta be prepared to get a little freaky
i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"
@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful
@holyknuckled like that?
oh? my god???
yeah, Exactly like that
aaugh i hate citing sources *excruciatingly loud sounds of tearing metal combined with tortured human screams and fleshy hitting noises* ok that wasn't so bad actually..
[Image description: There are five images, all screenshots of tags and replies on this post. The first is tags in all caps that read, "prev tags?! are you okay?" The second image is the prev tags mentioned, and reads, "me watching two hours worth of cars 3 interviews with brian fee so i can find a concrete source for lightning mcqueens age. btw on that note there's canonically a 20 year age gap between mcqueen and mater. in the first movie mcqueen is 29 and mater is 49. stan materfred its less problematic." The third image is tags in response to the previous image that read, "prev what. what. mater is. 49?? he's what?? he. was older than my dad when i first watched the movie? what??" The fourth image is tags in response again, and it reads, "prev in the credits of cars 2 we see maters passport including his DOB. his birthday is the same as john lasseters. 12 jan 1957. as i write this in 2022 john lasseter is 65. thus. mater is a gilf." The fifth image is a reply that reads, "mater is a gilf." End description]
[Image ID: It is a wojak meme, showing a man, who has the Wojak face, standing in the corner of a party, while smiling couples dance around him. Above the Couples' heads text reads, "Mater's 49????" And "Gilf Mater." Above the Wojak man's head, Text reads, "They don't know Materfred is the ship name for Mater and Manfred Von Karma" END ID]
[Image ID: A screenshot of a google search of "Manfred Von Karma", showing he's a white haired kinda "has fun being evil" looking man, the first result being his Ace Attorney wiki page. Hes a prosecutor. END ID]
Ace Attorney Heritage Post
ID: screenshot of sonic abridged where Eggman asks Shadow and Rouge the Bat "What are you two FUCKING talking about?" end ID.
ID: tumblr tags: #Oh ok my Lightning/McQueen/Rodimus Prime ship doesn't seem that weird now. end ID.
Comment: ...i mean listen. the transformers are at least Machines. i think it's less weird to ship a sentient car with a... thing that can sometimes be a... rodimus is a car, right? yeah ok Hot Rod. yeah. whatever thats funny but it makes sense. those are just cars. Lightning McQueen can date an alien good for him. but Manfred Von Karma is an asshole and mater deserves better. that would be some toxic ass old man yaoi
Divorce seems to radicalize american men in a way that needs to be studied
A divorced american man will join a right wing terror group because he didnt get custody of the kids he didnt take care of at all
An american man will have an affair with a colleague, get caught, get divorced, and join isis
Intelligent words from @junequeer
God, I love tumblr, its the only place where we can get a philosophical analysis of why divorcees crumble and it was in the tags. Like if not for the screenshot, 90% of people would miss this wisdom
I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A CUTE PICTURE WITH MY GARDEVOIR AND OGERPON
rip magneto you would have loved killing elon musk
Probably with a cybertruck, let's be honest. And it would have ruled so hard.
YOU CANT LEAVE THIS IN THE TAGS
LMAO IM CRYING 😭
Me when I'm throwing cheese slices at the local cybertuck
"reblogged"
no I posted this and also I will have u know that while looking for an image to make this joke I had to see an edgy code geass quote edit that I MADE at the age of 13
this is a screenshot from a 300 like tiktok posted by “ltz_lelouch” and tagged as “poetic rizz” in 2023. but nice try!
She said she saw an image she made as a 13 year old in the results, NOT that it was the image she used, or that she made the edit herself. Reading comprehension is so dire…
Tumblr pissing on the poor??? Not what I had in mind for my deranged 2025 code geass posting but alright
