Old Bloodhounds
Mark came all the way from taking his final paper directly to your hospital. He liked to shrink away from your gaze, blend into the background, and always stayed quiet when visiting you—but he still visited. Why? Mostly because…he needed the reassurance that you were still alive and awake. He needed it like he needed air to breathe, to see that you had the second chance to live past Yoonsu, among your loved ones once more.
But he didn’t—he wasn't ready to be included among those people yet. He was in love with you, and he was aware you somewhat loved him too, whether romantically or not didn’t matter to him at the moment. He was just sure that you loved him regardless—but he could never forgive himself for what he did to you. That’s why he shrinks himself, making it as if he’s not even there in your room as you entertain your other visitors.
So imagine his surprise when he realised he was your only visitor for today. At 2 PM in the afternoon, just after lunch hour—you were looking straight at him, and his hand still held the door.
“Mark! Oh, thank god, I was starting to get bored.” You sighed in relief, albeit a little too…theatrically?
Not even Yuno was here? Your dad? Not even Geonwoo and Woojin?
“Everyone set you up so I can finally have a heart-to-heart with you.. You either close the door on your way in or way out, Mark. But be advised, one of those two choices is gonna make me cry.”
He begrudgingly closed the door, walking over to the chair on your bedside that faced the window.
He froze, gripping on the bed rail, squeezing his eyes shut at the way you called his name.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He spoke with a shaky voice, feeling like there were only just the two of you in this world right now.
“I know that wasn’t your intention, but it still stung.” You told him in earnest, then reached out your hand to touch under his chin, tilting his head up so he could directly face you.
“Minhyung, just talk to me. It’s the least you could do.”
“What do you mean you don’t know how?”
Mark’s face fell at your question.
“I don’t know how to speak to you without thinking about how I don’t deserve being here with you. I treated you like shit! I was a fucking asshole—”
“So was everybody else! Everyone was an asshole to me, everyone treated me like shit back then, but they got over themselves.—you should too!” You yelled back, raising your arms in frustration at his stubborn behaviour.
“I’ve been an asshole to you since the beginning. Ever since you took my order at your pop up coffee shop, and you’ve always been so understanding, it just..” Mark trailed off, feeling his tears rolling down his face, “You’re the most selfless and bravest person I know, and I’ve been nothing but shitty to you. You…you deserve better than me, Y/N.”
You took hold of his face, both of your hands framing his face and pulling on him slightly. He held the railing again, not exactly resisting or pulling himself away, but was displaying a little caution with the way you came closer to him. He glanced at the spot where you had been stabbed, hoping you didn’t hurt yourself doing this.
“Stop putting me on a pedestal, Minhyung. Don’t you realise you’ve been treating me like a martyr?”
And you’ve never seen him look so horrified before. The horror Mark felt at this moment was comparable to the horror he felt on the night you got stabbed.
“You visit me without speaking to me, you just stare at me, bring me fresh bouquets every time you come—it’s like you’re visiting my grave, Minhyung, but I’m alive. I’m awake. I’m here breathing and living with you, so why can’t you look at me without looking like you’re grieving over me?”
One of his hands went up to hold yours, shaking his head in your hold.
Your voice broke, your tears fell—you’ve been so happy celebrating your reunion with everyone else, why did he have to be the one reunion that tore your heart apart?
“All those times I suffered under Yoonsu, all I kept thinking about was how happy I was gonna be once I get to reunite with everyone I love—but now you’re pulling away from me, and I don’t how else am I gonna bring you back to me. I can't lose you—what do I have to do to bring you back to me?”
Mark’s hands now held your wrists. Even as you cried over him, you still wiped away his tears. He was hurting you, but you still tried to soothe him and comfort his aching heart.
He needed to get over himself.
He needed to be there for you.
Mark’s hands went to hold your wrists as he finally leaned in to your palms, pressing and pushing his face against your open palms, warm with life, blood still pumping underneath your skin. You were alive. You were awake. You were here, returned to him.
Now he had to return to you too.
“Okay. Okay, I’m here now, Y/N. I’m here now, with you. You don’t have to do anything—I’m sorry that it took me so long to come back. I'm sorry.”
You immediately pulled him into a tight hug, and he gladly wrapped his arms around you too.
“Stay. Stay this time.” You begged him.
“I'm not going anywhere else. I'll always be here. With you.”
A/N : let the record show i wrote this entire chapter while listening to a ludwig livestream on twitch
