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@squeeingfangirl / squeeingfangirl.tumblr.com

baguette, he/him unless something else is funnier, from the 1900s

I don’t trust anyone who didn’t laugh at this… you gotta be dead inside if you didn’t react when sis delivered that punchline 😂

Transcript:

The video is slightly cut off at the beginning and end.

First woman: What’s your favorite joke that cracks you up every time that nobody else thinks is funny?

Second woman: Oh my gosh, I’ve been waiting to tell this, ‘cause every time I tell this joke, no one ever laughs! So maybe tiktok will think my joke is funny. Okay, lemme not hype it up, it sucks, it sucks, okay? I don’t wanna hype it up.

She takes a deep breath in and out.

Woman: Why are chickens so awesome? …BECAUSE!!!

‘Because’ is shouted abruptly like a chicken noise, like ‘bə-KAWs’.

Woman, snickering: It’s so good!!!

It’s amazing how much baking you can do when you follow all the goddamn directions. Baking is not a category in which you can fuck around unless you have tons of experience.

"Cooking is an art, but baking is a science."

"i am a god" in the most neutral possible tone

You guys don't understand, EVERYONE hates this dude. He regularly fucks up and still delivers that ending line with the same tone. 0 aknowledgement that he made it wrong. People want to kill him in the comments regularly. The fact that he did this one right is a fluke and it pisses me off even more

Please forgive me. I will go on from time to time, but generally in the service of thoroughness and always with the best of intentions.

JACK RACKHAM + iconic lines

[ID: gifs from Black Sails.

Jack Rakham says, “To be underestimated, it’s an incredible gift.”

“We’re all villains in Nassau. Don’t think because you’re new you’re any different.”

“You asked for better captains. I give you, Captain Jack Rakham.”

“It’s the art that leaves the mark. But to leave it, it must transcend. It must be true.”

“You and I were neck and neck in this race right till the end. But, Jesus, did I make up a lot of ground to catch you.”

“If you’re going to behave like children, then I will be your daddy.”

“There’s a whole world out there that every so often rewards ambition.”

“We are the proud new owners of a brothel. Let’s hope no one notices.”

Someone says, “Captain Linus Harcourt of The Goliath.” Rakham replies, “You ship is named after the Greatest disappointment in the history of warfare?”

“Put down the newspaper and read a book.”

/ end ID]

I mean this with all the love in the world, but if you're going to put that in the tags on an Egyptologist's post there's going to be a strongly worded 'no, that's misinformation and I won't stand for it' response incoming.

I hate this narrative. It's reductive, it doesn't help anyone (except making the commenter feel morally superior for dunking on the archaeologists), and it's kinda just...wrong.

Firstly, the narrative that 'everything was stolen' is just flat out wrong. Most people love to use the BM as an example of 'place that steals shit' and I'm gonna let you in on a secret: the BM never had a dig team (it has archaeologists now, but it didn't back when most people conceive of this happening). The BM is where people bequeathed stuff on their death, not the ones going out there to get it. Then you have the ways in which things were acquired by those who did go out there. Most of these are ‘bought it from a local seller who’d been in the tombs themselves and had a stall to make money from tourists’, archaeologists who worked with the Egyptian government and were subject to ‘partition agreements’ whereby they were allowed to keep half of what they found (the Egyptian government got first pick), authorised removal of items by the Pasha Muhammad Ali as gifts for helping Egypt (see: Giovanni Belzoni), traded items that ended up in people’s possession, and colonial spoils (most of which were taken from the French who were doing a colonialism before that. Y’know…Napoleon. That guy.).

Secondly, the narrative that archaeologists are stealing is also wrong. It’s anti-intellectual and is one of the things those who think that learning about the past is a waste of money use to cut our funding and try to shut us down. Archaeologists are bound by the 1970 UNESCO Convention which prohibits the illegal removal, export, or transference of cultural property from a country without that country’s explicit permission. Archaeologists do not ‘steal shit’ because a) that’s immoral and b) unless those archaeologists are from the country those objects originate in, they have no jurisdiction. Egypt specifically has had control over their antiquities (aside from those being looted on the black market) since at least the late 1800s. Howard Carter got short shifted in the 1920s because he upset the Egyptian government and they chose not to let him work on Tutankhamun’s tomb anymore. You cannot dig in Egypt without the Egyptian government’s permission and all the artefacts there belong to them once they’re out of the ground. I’m sure we don’t want to go around suggesting that they’re just letting people steal from them, do we?

Finally, and most importantly: 99% of all tombs in Egypt were robbed in antiquity by the Ancient Egyptians themselves. That’s why finding an intact tomb is so rare and important. My doctoral thesis was on the Egyptian investigations (c.1090 BCE) into these tomb robberies in the Valley of the Kings/Queens. Do you know what they show? That tomb robbing, even outside the socio-economic issues of the Late New Kingdom, was a common occurrence. They would enter tombs by boring holes into the side through another tunnel, get in there, rip off the linen coverings or set them alight, watch them burn, and then collect the jewels and amulets from the bodies to barter with. That description is from Papyrus Leopold II Amherst, which has translations readily available online. All in all, the Tribunal were only interested in the robberies of the Royal tombs, and thus when someone admitted to robbing the tomb of a noble or someone else, they simply didn’t care. Those weren’t important.

Tutankhamun’s tomb was so important because it was the only one that hadn’t been robbed in antiquity, not that it hadn’t been robbed by English colonialists (tbf there are many other countries that did colonialism here but you guys are never interested in them). There’s the Deir el Bahri cache where the Egyptians, around the same time as their tomb robbery investigations, moved all the mummies they still had of their kings into one place. They didn’t even do this carefully because all the mummies are in the wrong coffins, and some of the coffins have the wrong lids/bases (i.e. it’s Amenhotep II’s mummy, with the lid of Ramesses II and the base of Thutmose III). These were mummies of royal tombs that had already been robbed and had been robbed a long, long time ago, even for the Egyptians.

I’m not sure if you read the article at all, and from the comment it seems like you didn’t, but Thutmose II’s tomb was massively water damaged. The ceiling has caved in and it’s pretty dangerous to be inside. What they suspect might be where he’s buried now is close by and covered by man-made rubble. This is a hastily constructed second tomb, if indeed that’s what it is (I don’t wanna wait a month to find out but I might get rumblings of news earlier if it is). It doesn’t guarantee that any grave goods exist within it except perhaps his mummy. It could have been robbed thousands of years ago and all we’re going to find are remnants of what used to be. We only know the other tomb is his based small fragments that still exist of the starred ceiling (reserved for royal tombs) and a smashed offering from Hatshepsut for his kA. It would be frankly amazing if he still had all his burial goods with him, but realistically, knowing Egyptian history as I do, the best-case scenario (realistically) is a few grave goods and his mummy.

In summary, archaeologists don’t steal things and most of the tombs in Egypt were looted by the Egyptians themselves thousands of years before European colonialism ever set foot in them.

I haven't seen this on Tumblr yet. Cory Booker has held the floor of the Senate for a 16 hour and counting filibuster and it's all streaming on YT. Currently almost 30k people are watching. You can become one of them without even moving from your screen. In the category of "the absolute least you can do" to support a democrat actually doing something... maybe give it a watch.

He is now at hour 20 and if he breaches 24 hours & 18 minutes he will take the record for longest filibuster, a record currently held by Strom Thurmond who used his filibuster to argue against civil rights legislation & voting rights

"It's not about right and left it's about right and wrong" - Cory Booker

and he's doing it as eloquently as I've ever heard someone speak in defense of this stupid annoying mess of a country. I'm over 40, have kept on top of the news most of my life, can remember back to speeches and debates going back to the late 1980s, and it's been a damn long time since I've been this impressed with someone's speechmaking. It really shows how much he prepared ahead of time to do this filibuster. Nothing he's doing or saying is an accident.

At 7:19 EST he officially broke Strom Thurmond's record.

Gotta appreciate the season finale for complicating things more. Both for its outright rejection of "the way to save the innies is reintegration" as NOT being a cut-and-dry solution. But also for the fact that, while most people are 1-innie-1-outtie, Gemma Scout is 25 different people.

Cold Harbor!Gemma was alive for 15 minutes. A man showed up and said "I'm your husband. You can trust me. It's okay. Come with me." And he led her into non-existence.

Like there's the needling part of your brain that says "Of course rescuing Gemma Scout is an ultimate good. All Mark's issues aside, Gemma is a kidnapped woman being held and tortured, and she deserves to be saved."

It just comes with the elephant in the room of the 25 other Gemmas who don't get to be saved. Who, with Gemma's rescue, are consigned to non-existence just as much as Irv B. Irv B got a funeral.

Each Gemma innie is just as much of an innie as Helly R or Mark S. You cannot make any attempts to rationalize why Cold Harbor!Gemma can be wiped from existence while doing that to Helly R would be murder. Because if you try, then you're toeing a very dangerous line defining an arbitrary standard someone needs to meet to earn their humanity.

What is the difference between Helly R and Cold Harbor!Gemma? Time alive? Experiences? Number of human connections? None of these things, if lacking, cost someone their humanity. None of these things can deny Cold Harbor!Gemma her humanity, over someone like Helly R.

Of course Gemma needed to be freed. But no one told Cold Harbor!Gemma what it would cost her.

Mark S was allowed to make the decision to stay. Mark S took his humanity and ran. No one told Cold Harbor!Gemma.

"But they were going to kill Gemma after Cold Harbor. The innies would die anyway. It was either rescue Gemma Scout or rescue none of them." That's probably entirely true. But no one rationalized it that way.

No one, outtie or innie Mark, said, "I wish we could save the innie Gemmas. But with the circumstances how they are, we have no other choice. We can only rescue Gemma and hope to save them later, somehow, too."

Mark S ran Ms. Casey down the hall--the woman he knows, his coworker, his friend, the person he wanted to save--and led her to the door and said "You have to leave now."

No one explained it to her. No one asked Ms. Casey.

There's an EU initiative going on right now that essentially boils down to wanting to force videogame publishers with paid games and/or games with paid elements such as DLC, expansions and microtransactions to leave said games in a playable state after they end support, or in simpler terms, make them stop killing games.

A "playable state" would be something like an offline mode for previously always online titles, or the ability for people to host their own servers where reasonably possible just to name some examples.

I don't think I need to tell anyone that having something you paid for being taken from you is bad, which is a thing that routinely happens with live service and other always online games with a notable recent example being The Crew which is now permanently unplayable.

Any EU citizen is eligible to sign the initiative, but only once and if you mess up that's it. You can find it here. (https://citizens-initiative.europa.eu/initiatives/details/2024/000007_en)

Even if you're not European or you signed it already, you can share this initiative with anyone who is, even if they don't care about videogames specifically because this needs a million signatures and there is different thresholds that need to be met for each EU country for their votes to even count and could also be a precedent for other similar practices like when Sony removed a bunch of Discovery TV content people paid for.

SUPPORT BELOW 50% OF THE THRESHOLD IN THESE COUNTRIES:

Bulgaria - 35% Croatia - 45% Cyprus - 12% (!!!!) Czechia - 47% Greece - 27% Italy - 41% Latvia - 43% Luxembourg - 20% Malta - 11% (!!!!) Romania - 48% Slovakia - 47% Slovenia - 38%

SEVEN countries out of 27 have met the threshold so far. Deadline is 31st July, 2025.

This should absolutely be the law <3

It very much should. Here's an update on the numbers as of April 2025.

COUNTRIES BELOW 50% OF THRESHOLD:

Bulgaria - 36.8% Croatia - 47% Cyprus - 12.8% Czechia - 48.8% Greece - 31.7% (some progress!) Italy - 44.8% (a bit more progress!) Latvia - 44.6% Luxembourg - 21% Malta - 12% Romania - 50% (YAY) Slovakia - 48.8% Slovenia - 42.4% (there too!)

As you can see, it's slow going. Many more countries haven't reached the threshold yet, and remember, the deadline is 31/07/2025. We need them all up by then!

OTHER COUNTRIES IN NEED OF MORE SIGNATURES:

Austria (72.7%), Belgium (90.1% presque !!), Estonia (56.5%), Hungary (62.9%), Lithuania (61.1%), Portugal (53.6%), Spain (84.6), and France (81.8% allez les gars quoi votez sur ma vie).

To Poland, who reached a stratospheric 141.4%, I never doubted you. You hold the record for most signatures in relation to population size. Mass respect. You smashed that threshold.

my gf said something sooo insane about helly the other day and i cannot stop thinking about it. she was like. helena and helly’s relationship is almost maternal. the way helena created helly as an extension of herself, to serve her interests, to try and impress her own family. she scolds helly, talks down to her like a child. “i understand you’re unhappy with the life you’ve been given” “i am a person, you are not”. the way she envies and resents helly’s freedom. the way she feels entitled to helly’s life and is now living vicariously through her in the most literal sense. what if you created life and now they’re experiencing the things you’ve always wanted for yourself. what if you created life and they were flawed and loud and demanding and they were loved more than you’ve ever been. and you hated them for it. the mother/daughterisms are insane my girlfriend is insane

That's not insane, she's right. "I hate that she dresses me in the morning, like I'm a baby! That she controls me, and this company, and all of us... it's disgusting."

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