That Pathetic Commenter

god i love accidentally forgetting tumblr exists and then logging on to see your blog, it's so chaotic i adore it all

also, my adoption ceremony!! i'm a member of the family!! i'm not an orphan!! this is a win!! i request apple slices please!!

also also, honeypot, love, sweetheart, darling, if you're still single as a pringle, i wouldn't be opposed to waxing poetic about you 👀 (join our family it isn't a cult i SWEAR-)

also also also, swannon just casually dropping pure gold?? like actual beauty?? actual cinema, please and thank you??? our mother has truly fed us well 🙏

anyways that's it for my recap post, i'll try not to fade into the ether next time 🫡

-COI

(p.s. i'm expecting a wedding ceremony by the end of this year, either swannon and t-rex or loq and star bowl. i'll be very disappointed if there's neither.)

Lmao I accidentally extra faded you, sorry, also my god stop sexting in my asks

@stars-in-soup and I have something going on that completely transcends the mortal simplicities of marriage, how dare you insinuate we could be reduced to such banalities

To bring back some sanity into this blog….

Spill the beans, who’s your favourite rookie? Give us a ranking

And who adopted which rookie? What’s the family tree?

- 🪿 (who has recovered due to Oscar piastri cuntism)

EXCELLENT question I think:

1. Kimi Antonelli, Max Verstappen's favourite son, in my heart Max would go Taken levels of crazy to get him back if he were kidnapped for real

2. Ollie Bearman, cinammon roll looking baby with truly underrated levels of cunt and I still believe he's secretly Charles' son birthed by the man himself, fruit of his loins, if you don't see the vision of how similar they actually are you're wrong

3. Isack Hadjar, undeniably the funniest rookie on the grid, and I'm not sure anyone will agree with me on this but I actually think Lewis' dad just adopted him and Lewis is so confused about whether he should act like a dad or a brother now and does not have the time to deal with a pathetic little frenchman on his doorstep situation on top of being baptised by fire into Ferrari communication capabilities two weekends in a row, unwanted baby acquisition if you will. In my head he would sell him for 1 french fry and then immediately regret it and empty his whole bank account to get him back

4. Liam Lawson, Max Verstappen's technically son who acts more like the oldest brother who only comes home to do his laundry nowadays, not seen for days on end (and yes he is a rookie TO ME)

5. Gabriel Bortoleto because I know absolutely nothing about him (and that is 100% my fault) except that he's in the process of signing the adoption papers to join Max's every growing zoo family and he will absolutely be bullied by Penelope as soon as Max brings him home

6. Jack Doohan (Idk, he's just some guy to me really, I have nothing against him, but I cannot bring myself to emotionally invest) but he's giving orphan to me personally which is mean but he just looks so depressed but that might just be his face idk