lee jihoon - what kind of future
angst angst angst.
rushed this so its not good!! will create a better version later!!
Jihoon paced back and forth in his small bedroom, his heart heavy with a maelstrom of emotions he couldn't begin to untangle. He kept glancing at the calendar, counting down the days until your birthday. You would be turning 20, a whole year older than his 19 years. It was a silly thing to focus on, but in that moment, the age difference felt like an insurmountable chasm between them. (Even though it was only a year..)
He replayed your interactions in his mind, trying to decipher the true nature of your feelings. Did you really like him as more than just a cute junior, or was he fooling himself? There had been moments, stolen glances and lingering touches, that made him think maybe, just maybe, you reciprocated his affections. But then there were other times when you seemed to pull away, putting up walls he couldn't breach no matter how hard he tried.
Jihoon collapsed onto his bed, burying his face in the pillow that still carried a faint hint of your perfume. He inhaled deeply, letting the scent fill his lungs and transport him back to happier times. Times when he could hold your hand without hesitation, when he could make you laugh until tears streamed down your face. Times when the future seemed bright and full of promise.
But now, that future was uncertain, hazy and out of reach. He wanted to believe that you both could make it work, no matter what obstacles stood in the way. But the doubt lingered, gnawing at him like a persistent ache he couldn't shake. Was he good enough for you? Did he deserve a chance at a future with a girl like you?
He remembered the way your parents had looked at him with disdain, their eyes filled with a mixture of contempt and pity. They saw him as a distraction, a fling that their precious daughter needed to outgrow. And maybe they were right. Maybe you would eventually realize that you could do so much better than a boy from the wrong side of town.
The thought made Jihoon's heart clench painfully in his chest. He couldn't bear the idea of losing you, of never seeing your smile again or hearing your melodic laughter. But he also couldn't stand the idea of holding you back, of being the reason you settled for less than you deserved. He sat up abruptly, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
Meanwhile you sat in your lavishly decorated bedroom, surrounded by the trappings of a life of privilege. You stared at your reflection in the ornate mirror, barely recognizing the girl who stared back at you. Your eyes, usually sparkling with life and vitality, looked dull and lifeless. Your skin, once a radiant and flawless canvas, now appeared sallow and worn from the endless tears and sleepless nights.
You had always known that your parents had high expectations for your life. They had groomed you from a young age to be the perfect student - poised, graceful, and destined for greatness. But none of that mattered anymore. All you could think about was the aching void in your chest, the hollow emptiness that had taken up residence since you had walked away from Jihoon.
Your mind drifted to the countless moments you had shared together, the inside jokes and secret smiles that had made you feel alive in a way you never had before. You remembered the way his hand felt in yours, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed at something silly you said. You remembered the way he looked at you, like you were the most beautiful girl in the world, and it made you feel cherished and adored.
But more than anything, you remembered the way he had looked at you when you walked away from him. The utter devastation and heartbreak etched into every line of his handsome face. You had wanted to run back to him, to throw yourself into his arms and beg him to forgive you for being so foolish. But you had hesitated, and in that moment of hesitation, you had lost him.
And so the memories of that day still haunts him. Even more than they do to you. And Jihoon's always wondering, "What kind of future, is the right one for us?"