𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐥
Beneath her cheek, the soft cotton of Y/N's pillowcase was soaked through with hot tears. It was completely dark where she was huddled up into a tiny ball under the sheets, her hand fisting into the duvet to keep it tucked over her head, blocking out the sunshine spilling through the windows. The tears that spilled out of her bloodshot eyes stung; they burned their way down the corners of her eyes, down her cheeks, and she sniffled, her cheek sore when she wiped it against her pillow.
“Baby … “ her husband's voice was sing-songy as he neared the bedroom. “Hmm … where's my girl disappeared off to?”
She didn't bother replying. Instead, Y/N curled up further into herself, dragging the sheets further over her head. She was little more than a small bump in the middle of the bed, and when the door to the bedroom opened, a sudden bubble of amused laughter sprung around the room.
“Aw … what's that under the sheets?” Chris's voice held a playful lilt to it. “Couldn't possibly be my wife … right?”
A split second later, Chris jumped onto the bed; his body was a warm, solid weight atop of Y/N's, and the woman's breath hitched, her eyes filling with fresh tears as he tucked his arms around her over the duvet, wriggling his limbs around in the manner of an excitable pet.
“Mmm … so warm,” Chris giggled, the sheets separating his face from her neck. “Fancy going out? We could go find an ice cream van or something.”
Swallowing thickly, Y/N shook her head against her pillow. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, and she buried her face deeper into the cushion.
“No.”
“No?” Chris repeated. He dropped his head against her shoulder, cuddling her a little tighter. “That's okay. We can stay in and cuddle … wanna watch a movie?”
“No.”
At that, Chris frowned. He propped himself up on an elbow and peered down at his hidden wife, his brows furrowing together. “Baby? You okay?”
She didn't respond. Y/N sniffed instead, and she swiped the back of a fist over her damp undereyes, sinking lower under the duvet. It was stifling now; but she didn't dare move. She couldn't bring herself to face the man who was surely observing every one of her minimal movements.
“What's wrong, baby girl?” Chris's voice had dropped the playfulness from earlier. It was softer now, painfully gentle, and Y/N squeezed her eyes shut even more as she felt the familiar prickle behind them. His hand was tender as it rubbed in slow strokes over her arm, and she couldn't help but recoil, pulling herself away from him.
If Chris was hurt, he didn't show it. He encircled his arms around her again instead, dropping a loving kiss to the duvet where he presumed her head would be.
“Talk to me, baby,” Chris hummed. “What's going on, hmm?”
Wordlessly, Y/N curled her fingers around her husband's phone. She thrust her arm out of the sheets and pushed his phone into the confused man's hand before retreating into her little cocoon.
“Is that my phone? Phone thief … I was looking for that,” Chris chuckled, mildly baffled. He looked down at the screen and smiled, his eyes instantly softening; it was open on a photo of Y/N, one he had taken yesterday when she hadn't been looking. He swiped to the left - there were more, each one featuring his laughing wife, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks glowing under the setting sun.
Chris's heart lurched. God, he thought. That sunset has nothing on her beauty.
“Why did you take those?” Y/N's voice was hoarse, and it snapped Chris out of his momentary daze.
Chris blinked. “What do you mean?”
Y/N gulped. Her lips trembled, and her fingers curled tighter in their fists, nearly piercing the delicate skin of her palms. “I … I look so ugly.”
At that, Chris froze. “Take that back.”
“No.”
“Baby … “
“No. Leave me alone.”
Looking back at his phone, Chris bit his lip. Her broken words had hit him hard; he couldn't stand the idea of anyone saying something negative about his wife. For her to say it about herself … Chris inhaled slowly, his eyes falling shut briefly.
“I won't,” he said softly, his hand going to rest on her shoulder. “You're not ugly, baby girl. Never ever ever. You're so beautiful.”
At that, Y/N finally sat up. The duvet fell off of her and pooled at her hips; her hair clung to her cheeks, her eyes wild with unshed tears and her lips rosy and swollen from where she had been chewing on them. She was wrecked - and yet, even like this, her beauty shone through. Chris's breath hitched - he would have pulled her in for a kiss if it wasn't for the sudden anger and self loathing that warped across her face, robbing him of his thoughts.
“I'm so fat,” she breathed, shoulders heaving. “I … I keep telling myself that I'm not, but … I am. I hate how I look so bad in every photo … like … I look fine in the mirror but then someone takes a photo of me and suddenly I look like the most hideous … troll.”
“No you do not,” Chris said firmly. “Baby … you're so beautiful. I took these photos because I genuinely thought - think - you're the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on … your weight doesn't change that. It never has, and it never will.”
Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks, dripping off of her chin and splattering onto her thighs. “Don't lie to me. How can you even say that? Don't you feel embarrassed because of me?”
“Why on earth would I feel embarrassed of you?”
“Because! You're so … fit. And so insanely handsome … I'm literally the same size as you, but where you're all muscle, I'm all fat. I mean … sometimes I look like I have muscle, but on top of that I'm still so fat … doesn't that put you off?”
Chris swallowed slowly. His eyes had begun to blur. “No.”
“Don't lie,” Y/N repeated, her words breaking off into a shaky whisper. “You … you deserve someone prettier than me. Someone who's on your level. Someone skinny, someone with an actual jawline, someone - “
She was cut off when his lips pressed against hers; her words dissolved on her tongue with the shock of the sudden gesture, and heat seeped into her shivering body. Chris's eyelashes fluttered against her wet skin, like dozens of kisses of their own, and when he pulled away, the heavy buzz that had been circulating around her mind all morning suddenly dimmed.
“Shut up,” Chris whispered, the faintest of smiles toying on his lips. He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs caressing her cheekbones with the most tender of touches. “I don't wanna hear anymore. You hear me? I'm not gonna let you talk about the love of my life like that.”
Y/N gulped. “You're deluded.”
“No, baby, I'm not,” Chris leaned forward, his lips brushing against her forehead. “Listen to me baby. You are not ugly. I don't care how much you weigh … you fit perfectly in my arms, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah? I love the softer parts of you … I love your cute little face. I like squishing your cheeks like this - “ the side of his index finger and thumb gently pinched the softness of his wife's cheeks, his eyes lighting up as he did so. “ - And I love your pretty little tummy. You're so perfect to cuddle … “
On cue, the man effortlessly scooped Y/N onto his lap as if she barely weighed more than a small apple. He grinned widely and enclosed his long arms around her torso, holding her tight, bumping his nose against hers. “God, baby … I wish you could see what I could see in you. I don't want anyone else. Only you. All of you”
Y/N's vision swam again as she looked down onto her husband's earnest face. “Even my side profile? I think I have the ugliest side profile.”
“I love your side profile,” Chris hummed. His touch was careful as he cupped her chin, and he turned it to the side a little, peppering the softness of her cheek, her jaw, her neck, with loving, lingering kisses. “Mine.”
She looked at him, her chin wobbling a little. She looked as though she wanted to say something else, but …
“What is it, baby?” Chris pulled her closer.
Y/N looked down. “I look like … like … that fucking pelican in Finding Nemo.”
Chris let out a bark of laughter; he couldn't help it - the sound escaped him with so much disbelief that Y/N couldn't hold back the tiny curve of her lips either.
“Nigel?” Chris wheezed, his fingers curling into the drape of her t-shirt. “Baby … for fuck’s sake. Your imagination is gonna be the death of me - you do not, and I repeat, do not, look like Nigel. Or any pelican for that matter.”
‘But I do,” Y/N whined, dropping her face into her hands in embarrassment. “I saw a picture of him earlier from the side and like … I really do.”
“Baby, you're not a pelican,” Chris's body shook with mirth. “Look at me.”
“No.”
“Baby … come on. Maybe I'm in love with pelicans, hmm?”
Y/N's mouth dropped, just as her hands did. “Are you calling me a pelican?”
“No! You called yourself one,” Chris exclaimed, taking a hold of her hands in his.
“But you're agreeing!”
“I'm not! Look … you don't look like Nigel,” Chris giggled, his hands cupping her face again. “I promise … you don't look like Nigel, or a pelican. You look so beautiful, baby girl.”
Y/N blinked, her cheeks squishing against her husband's playful grip. Her eyes were round as she stared at him, and when Chris's grin widened, she felt the knot in her chest begin to loosen.
“What's gotten into you, hmm?” He asked softly, slipping his fingers into her hair. “You're always so confident in yourself … I love that about you.”
Sniffing hard, Y/N shrugged. “I don't know. I just … wanted to look at the photos on your phone and I saw those and the only thing I could focus on was my double chin when I smile. And … just … I don't know. I feel like it's unfair to you. You've worked so hard to look like you do, and I just … look like this.”
Chris's eyes were pained. But they still held an overwhelming amount of love for her in the depths of the starry black as he leaned his forehead against hers.
“It's not unfair,” Chris whispered. “It's not like you're unhealthy … you're super healthy. And you're so strong - don't forget how you picked me up the other day.”
At that, Y/N started to giggle.
“Look … yes you're a little chubby, but so what? I think you're a healthy size … I love you the way you are. I genuinely do. I like that you're all soft, but if I poke you here - “ he chuckled when she yelped, his finger pressing against her killer stomach “ - I can feel your muscle. You don't have to be thin to be healthy, baby. You can be skinny and be really unhealthy, and you can be bigger and way healthier - size, weight, it doesn't matter. You know that, right? It's how you feel that matters. And hey, scientifically speaking, women are supposed to have a higher body fat percentage than men anyway … you need that extra softness to keep your body working properly, yeah?”
“I know … “ Y/N wiped at her cheek. “But … I'm still the same size as you.”
Chris smiled. “So? Doesn't mean I can't still wrap you up like this … “
She was suddenly cushioned against their bedcovers, Chris's body draped over her like a koala; he really did have an extraordinary talent of making sure his entire surface area was stuck to hers, and with her cheek pressed up against the steady thudding of his heart, Y/N felt the thoughts that had been taking up all the space in her mind slowly trickle away.
She snuggled closer to him, allowing herself to return his bear hug.
“There she is,” Chris hummed, tugging her even closer. “My baby. I love you so much, you know that, right? You're my whole entire world.”
Y/N's eyes swam with more tears. “And you're mine.”
“Don't cry,” the man patted her back, his fingers threading through her hair with his endless tenderness. “Shh … you're too pretty to keep crying. I hate when you're sad … breaks my heart.”
“I'm not sad anymore,” Y/N mumbled against his chest. “I just … feel so … lucky. To have you.”
Chris beamed. He peered down at her, his chest swelling with a sudden burst of unconditional love. “Not as lucky as I am to have you.”
Her lips spreading into a watery smile, Y/N looked up at him. His thumb brushed the remains of her tears away, and she stared into his eyes, a question floating around her own.
Chris started to chuckle. “What, baby?”
Y/N giggled. “Can we … go get ice cream?”
His laughter increasing, Chris nodded. He pulled her flush against his chest first, his hand cradling the back of her head as he hummed in pure contentment.
“Wanna go get food first?” Chris suggested. “We could go get your favourite … “
Y/N's eyes lit up. “That pizza place?”
“Yeah, that pizza place,” Chris grinned. “Even though we just had it yesterday … “
“Hey, I could eat that pizza every single day,” Y/N huffed. “It's so good.”
He only hugged her tighter. “I know. I could watch you eating it everyday.”
Tilting her head up at him, Y/N's eyes suddenly flickered with mischief. “Chris?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you marry me because you had a crush on Nigel?”
“Baby, I swear - “
“Only kidding. Maybe.”
“I married you because I'm in love with you. Not Nigel. Otherwise I'd have married him.”
They were both giggling now, and Y/N looped her arms his neck, grinning against his lips. “I know I brought it up, but … it's strangely reassuring.”
Chris shook his head before closing his lips over hers. “Unbelievable.”
Tag list ~ @dalamjisung @ateez-babygirl @waverzzzzzzzz @smutdumpskz @hotmesshapa @chanssmiles @leand125 @foivetimesacharm @dprkbyn @renytherat @super-btstrash-posts @sleepyleeji @ka-ni-ma @straystaychan @mylifesupsidedowm @armystay89 @shut-up256 @hanstan34 @blackfangedreaper @suhomylife @kannaexe @kookie9704 @notastraykid @strayfoxxchan @elizalabs3 @jdopes-recorder @forever-in-the-sky2 @peachygiku @chansducky10 @shakalakaboomboo @jisuperboard @zandra-42 @whyyougottadothatbro @skzcoffeemachine @where-is-innie @rizzshimura @miin17 @nappynapnaps @prettymiye0n @lost-leopard-beanie @chnbngs @hann1bee @stayceebs97 @solandiszale @cosmicalily @modesttiger @chanlixart (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)
