resident short king

actually. the point of it all is to be sweet to your friends. so there

“and the universe said…”

the pen testing pads at art stores are the only worthwhile social media platform

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

happy too tired July everyone

[image text: "July 1. Too tired." end text]

Pour one out for #tboy swag.

it’s kind of deeply depressing that there exists this entire vast subculture of progressive-learning 15-19 year olds online who are legitimately filled with anxiety over their media consumption diet and closely monitor themselves and others to make sure nothing they consume is Problematic™ lest they be ousted from their social circles. at the exact age where it’s actually good to have a varied media diet and be able to critically engage with harmful elements, too

straight up if you are high school or early university aged and you’re spending time feeling significant guilt and anxiety about what you choose to read or watch because of your online peers and shaping your media diet based on fear, you do not have to be around those peers anymore. there is a vast world outside this kind of person

yeah sorry but can you send me that prophetic vision again? it's just i couldn't figure out what it meant last time because your friends were all shouting "pass the weed bro" and making sex noises in the background while you broadcast it. kind of distracting.

the moon controlling the tides sounds like something out of a fantasy novel and yet…there she is…doing That…every day…

this tag killed me

sdfghjkl Jonathan calling Dracula's vampire ladies ‘awful’ and then immediately clarifying that he's casting no aspersions on women, women are great, Mina is a woman after all

ive said it before, ill say it again. the only kind of pasta i like has a red sauce. i dont care how well made your shrimp alfredo is, i cant stand the consistency or texture. i dont like the creaminess. i want that sweet sweet marinara, baby.

jesus fucking christ man

just fuck off

one of us still stands. remember this lesson.

i have survived several attempts on my life by simply not dying, giving people the impression that i'm hard to kill. however my poor posture and laughably pathetic demeanour cancels out any intimidation factor i could gain from this.

Making the people you adore laugh is literally everything

As much as I love ‘I would kill for you’, it kinda really loses its impact if the person saying it is a villain who already kills at the slightest provocation

’I would refrain from killing for you, I would spare them all if you asked me’ is a very sexy alternative, and a much more powerful declaration of love coming from a character prone to violence

earrings change your gender not like fully but they Change it

They're a flavour enhancer, like salt or soy sauce.

MSG (more substantial gender)