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life is hell welcome to the 9th ring

@the-tired-ish-rat

i stole a brownie recipe off the internet and that curse is following me irl right now. it's shia labeoufing me. | quick info: she/they, aroace | i reblog like there's no tomorrow and don't tag (fasr reblob buttom... my belonvd...) so venture into my realm but on your head it be what you find there

Hey is anybody having trouble with those Captcha test things lately? Mine are getting kinda weird and I’m even not too sure what to click on

Hi, a few people accused this of being AI generated and I would like to point out I actually painted this— it was inspired by how fucked up AI generated captcha images look, of course, but the final result was hand-drawn. Don’t mind that I have over 200 layers on this thing haha my painting process is a disaster

I appreciate the people reassuring me in the comments so much haha but don’t worry I wasn’t upset! I found it funny + it was an understandable mistake anyway since I was deliberately trying to imitate that vibe, just wanted to clear up that it was art because I evidently forgot to when I initially posted it

Oh yeah, extra details: the rock/leaf litter textures I used for the ground are actually static grain taken from MRI brain scans I had done years ago

Achievement Unlocked:

Artificial Artificial Intelligence

You managed to mimick AI so perfectly that everyone thinks you're a fake. Whoops/congratulations!

One difference between the Lord of the Rings books and the Peter Jackson films that I find really interesting is what the hobbits find when they return to the Shire.

In the books, they return from the War, only to see that the war has not left their home untouched. Not only has it not left their home unscathed, battle and conflict is still actively ravaging the Shire. They return, weary and battle-scarred, to find a home actively wounded and in need of rescue and healing. All four launch themselves into defending their home and rousting those harming it, and eventually succeed. But their idyllic home has been damaged, and even once healed, is never quite again the Shire they set out to save.

In contrast, in the Jackson films, they return to a Shire shockingly untouched by the horrors of war. The hobbits of the Shire talk, in the Green Dragon in Fellowship of the Ring, about not getting involved with issues "beyond our borders," and it seems those issues have not invaded their sanctuary. After having been bowed to by kings, dwarves, elves, and men alike at the coronation in Gondor, their only acknowledgment upon returning home is a skeptical head shake from an older hobbit.

One of the most poignant scenes to me in Return of the King (and there are a considerable amount) is the scene where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin are sitting in the Green Dragon. The pub patrons bustle around them, talking loudly, clapping excitedly, drinking cheerfully, just as they had in the beginning of the story. But the four hobbits sit silently, watching almost curiously at what was once familiar but is now foreign to them. Their home has not changed. But they have.

Which is the deeper hurt? To come to your home to find it irrevocably changed, despite all you did to keep it untouched and the same? Or to return home but no longer feeling at home, because it is only you that is irrevocably changed?

LOTR Heritage Post

I don’t like being referred to as a boy

Woah mama I'll give anyone who misgenders you the Elvis Special (a bullet)

This account likely makes the list of “the last accounts I’d ever expect to be anywhere near my blog” but I appreciate it

Woah mama I'm one of your mutuals

Achievement Unlocked:

All Shook Up

Learn an unexpected secret about your connection to an Elvis-themed gimmick blog.

i better not hear you talking smack about/being prejudiced towards drugs and/or people who do them. especially if you consume any amount of caffeine (a recreational socially accepted drug) on a daily basis

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

me: oh thomas cromwell, we're really in it now. every day i get emails.

the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: i was on committees with the duke of norfolk. and they beheaded me.

me: yep. good point.

me: cromwell. cromwell this post has got too big and famous and people are starting to misunderstand me on it.

the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: oh no! you achieved too much fame and status? and now people are misrepresenting you? should we strip your lands and title? have you been beheaded?

me: YES ALRIGHT FINE

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment

Once I dreamt Will Wood did a social experiment where he did a live stream and if it had 0 viewers he would make new music, then his internet failed and the stream crashed so he was forced to make new music, he wrote an album called “I hate you all (you all suck)” and it went viral on tiktok to the point he was on tv shows and really well known as “that one tiktok guy” he was so fed up he went on tour where he just reprimanded each member of the audience individually by name. Every show sold out

What is wonder?

The art history version of “you’d look prettier if you smiled more”

you know what? fuck this *un-smiles your painting*

HAD to keep @furbearingbrick 's tag:

He gave her softer eyes, bigger breasts, a sweet inviting smile, narrower arms and wrists, and a less emphatic chin. A complacent and Proper Maiden for his smug consumption.

That is NOT what the artist painted.

The artist painted the cleaned image. Thank goodness and highly skilled people that we get to see it.

I'm so mad that the restored version is cropped in the photos there. I badly wanted to see the whole background cleaned. That SKY. SHOW ME IT.

NEVERMIND. The fucker who added boobs and a coy smile also pasted on a whole strip of new canvas at the top and slapped a skyline on there. o_0

Wow. The Kind of Guy(tm) who would do that really hasn't changed.

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