hoarding queer labels like a dragon hoards its gold

i know my audience.

im literally s h a k i n g i wanna rant about poppy playtime theories so bad but i cant do it irl so fuck it imma do it here

okay so all the smiling critters right we all know those were children right? their cardboard cutouts are all quite unique, so here's my theories on what happened to each of them based off those audios.

Bubba Bubbaphant: first to die- not sure exactly what happened. i think whatever it was, he knew too much about Playcare's secrets and someone had to 'get rid of him'.* Kickinchicken: tried to run away and go outside. went down kicking and screaming. Picky Piggy: forced to eat the other's remains probably to survive, died of starvation afterwards Hoppy Hopscotch: jumped off something in an attempt to escape, didn't survive. Bobby Bearhug: abandoned/neglected until death. probably was left alone after the employees were killed during the Hour of Joy, and then died. Dogday: died trying to tell the others to run. Craftycorn: killed somebody, probably in self-defense.

As for Catnap, he didn't have a cutout (at least not that i'm aware of anyways), but Ollie says that the prototype 'saved' him. I'm guessing that something pretty traumatic happened to Catnap's child, maybe he was about to die, and the prototype stepped in to help.

*Bubba's theory is heavily based off that one tape we see of a kid asking if his friend is okay and surprising a worker who i'd assume is in on the killings or whatever

I also have theories about Ollie himself. We don't know who or what he is, and I've seen many people guess that he's another toy of some sorts. But I don't think he is. I think he's a survivor. Specifically: I think Ollie is one of the orphaned kids from Playcare who managed to survive the Hour of Joy, and somehow has been making it on his own trapped inside the facility. I assume that he had help from Poppy and Kissy, but then the prototype had taken Poppy and put her in the case from chapter one and maybe he had been with Kissy since then?

Even more specifically: I think Ollie is the kid from that tape I mentioned before, the one where someone had came in and asked if his friend was okay? I think Ollie was that sick friend.

Another part of me though, thinks that Ollie may have been a scrapped concept for one of the Smiling Friends. Maybe there was supposed to be another animal but they never went and got publicized.

Another thing I wanna say: The above theories are how the kids died. The human children presumably used for creating the Smiling Critters. But i also have theories about how the toys died (the stuffed toys that we see like Dogday- ones created after the kids themselves died.)

I think Catnap had killed them all, to be honest. I think after he was pulled off shelves he had such resentment for the rest of the critters that he rampaged and slaughtered the rest of them, and probably kept Dogday alive for torture which is what we saw in-game.

I also am very curious to know who and what the prototype is. I had been assuming that Poppy was the first person killed and turned into a toy, but evidently there was someone before her. Maybe the prototype was another person who was turned into a scrapped version of the Poppy that we know?

oh my god i forgot about this post

i love you wasps i love you flies i love you beetles i love you moths i love you non-bee pollinators i love you "uncharismatic" organisms who nonetheless carry our ecosystem on your backs

String identified: a t t - at "caatc" ga t ca ct ac

Closest match: Sabra harpagula genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Scarce Hook-Tip

(image source)

You've Been Portal Jacked! Part 12

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I think he has an idea

I saw a lady today holding a kitten really high up so artistic rendition of it because it made my day. The lil guy was just okay with it

“neopronouns are weird” every time i wake up there’s a 75% chance that everyone’s vocabulary has changed overnight. brother what is a gyatt

people should find this post via carrier pidgeon

^^^ hey important addition to this post brought to you by an anon. to be clear the point of the post was not the term “gyat” itself but how quickly language changes HOWEVER this is an important discussion to have too

reblogging this again because people are missing the point of the post. and for the record i agree white tiktokers are the plague

Silk is so beautiful. Thank you worms

u know they boil them alive for silk right

They’re worms…

ok im not gonna argue with a sociopath

Thank god

As I've already said on another post:

A: you don't have to kill them for the silk

B: silk moths spend BASICALLY THEIR WHOLE LIVES AS CATERPILLARS and only wrap themselves in silk after they've lived all their life because

C: when they turn into moths, THEY DO NOT HAVE MOUTHS. this is a very common feature for moths. They turn into moths to have sex and then starve to death.

D: in the wild, maybe thirty out of a hundred eggs survive to be caterpillars. Maybe one out of a hundred survives to become a moth. A moth who has a few days, at most, to live. They have no way to defend themselves. Many die before they even get to mate. Some never find mates. If they don't starve to death, they get eaten by a predator. And this isn't even counting the ones who get eaten in the cocoon by parasitic wasps.

E: the lifecycle of a wild silkworm is to struggle, struggle, maybe get sex, then starve to death.

F: domestic silkworms are literally flightless. They cannot survive in the wild. But we take care of them. Nearly one hundred percent of silkworms survive to metamorphosis- and every single one of them lives a safe, warm, long life, where their favourite food is literally handed to them, where they want for nothing. And even THEN, MORE OF THEM SURVIVE TO BECOME MOTHS THAN THEY DO IN THE WILD. The ones who die do so painlessly, and 100% of them gets used- they're literally edible. They get eaten, like they would in the wild, but infitesimally less painfully because they're already dead when they get eaten. Even the cocoons from the moths who chewed through their silk get used! And the moths? The many more who survive than in the wild? They have gigantic orgies, lay eggs that they know will live the same long, idyllic lives they did, and then die.

The life of a domestic silkworm moth is the kindest, most perfect life they could ever live.

This is like if aliens said "hey you get to eat your favourite food forever, live longer than you ever would, and never be in any danger, and your children and their children and their children will also have this, but when you die peacefully in your sleep after living a full life (because you are ssfe from all diseases also) we get your clothes and also your bodies?" and also imagine YOU DON'T HAVE A CONCEPT OF A SOUL OR BURYING A BODY OR CREMATING A BODY OR DOING ANYTHING WITH A BODY. OR THAT THE BODY OF SOMEONE WHO DIED HAS ANY VALUE TO YOU WHATSOEVER. Assume dead humans like. Just lie there and get eaten by dogs.

Literally, to them, all we get out of this is like... instead of something else eating the bodies, we eat them? It's literally just "hey instead of getting eaten by birds, would you like to have lives sweeter than you could imagine but like. You get eaten by monkeys and also less of you get eaten and you're already dead when they eat you."

If you're going to judge someone for liking the byproduct of a process, maybe educate yourself on the process first.

PEOPLE THINK SILKWORMS ARE BOILED ALIVE?!?!?

Pink Prison, a comic I did for my color theory class this semester! we had to pick a color, research it, and do a piece related to it somehow. i chose pink :)

So I had a funny dream the other night.

It involved a very gay witch.

UM PEOPLE REALLY LIKED THIS???

THANKS I REALLY WANT TO DRAW THEM MORE

wow tumblr really loves piracy huh. this didn’t break 100 on any other platform, but got 10k notes in less than 24 hours here. yo ho tumblrinas.

Piracy 🤝 Physical Media 🤝 Libraries

Physical media has two hands 😌

As Charles Stross said, we used to have a word for people who collected media and organized it and made it available to everyone for free. We called them "Librarians".

Pirates and Librarians and Archivists aren't different types of people, they're different sides of the same coin. Pirate if you have to, Archive if it's at risk, Library...ize? If you can.

okay the lack of a verb for "Library" slightly ruins the metaphor. But the point is: Librarians make sure everyone can access it. Archivists make sure it will always exist. Pirates make sure it can be gotten for free, without limitations. We need all these roles at different times, and they all work together.

Remember, if you've seen Nosferatu, the super influential silent horror film, it's because of piracy. All the "legal" copies were destroyed. Archivists made sure the pirated copies lasted. And Librarians made sure you could easily watch a copy.

theyer old enough that they used to connect 

They're older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It's why we're like this, I think. You don't stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You're always going to be a little Off.

They used to be as tall as the Himalayas.

watching gen z and millennials make fun of gen alpha has been torturous. "But they're actually stupid" 1. theyre middle schoolers 2. isn't that what older gens said about us? don't you remember being 11?

it truly is just "impulse reaction to cringe <- has not yet unlearned shame"

the cycle continues let me out of here

guys. guys I think we should kill cringe culture

My kids and their friends are Gen Alpha, and they are sweet, sweet kids living though appalling times.

They grew up with the most rigidly binary models of childhood that have existed in my lifetime (girl-glue, anyone?) and been viewed as their earning potential since before they could walk. They have been exploited and abandoned on the internet by their parents, have been exploited on the internet by the algorithm when they were too young to understand it. They are the first large generation of the children of Mommy bloggers, anti-vaxxers, trad wives, and quiverful types.

They’ve survived a pandemic, and had it cut through their schooling in a way that has been enormously traumatic. They have the smallest outdoor range of any generation to date. In their lifetime, climate change has become violently real, socioeconomic disparity has only increased, reactionary movements have increased, and rights that we’ve taken for granted have been rolled back. They are the generation of British trans kids taking their lives on the now-static youth GIC waiting lists. The American trans kids who are watching their very existence become illegal. They are the generation of creative kids whose arts and humanities funding has been cut to the bone. A generation who have grown up watching soft-lit, queer friendly cartoons, walking out in to a world of violent trans and homophobia.

They are depressed, anxious, afraid. Their aspirations are low, their hopes for the future fragile.

They are clever, and creative, and charming, and brave. And they are KIDS.

Be nice to them, they’re dealing with a lot.

They are clever, and

creative, and charming, and

brave. And they are KIDS.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.