Hello my dear Customers~

Today should be the day you ALL buy a Thneed!!

I’m straight but this gif makes my prostate clench it kinda hurts 

This feels like finding a vintage grenade in a box and pulling the pin

We literally cannot let them start charging 80 dollars for video games 70 dollars was already outrageous 60 was pushing it. 80 fucking dollars. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND. For MARIO?!?!?!?!?

ideally people would use some critical thinking and talk with their wallets by simply Not Buying It but at the end of the day emotionally immature and financially irresponsible morons are still gonna buy it day one because "buhubbuhh but maro look so good ......"

"Why is everyone in a rush to play a new shitty game. That isn't finished yet, and that costs a lot of money when you haven't even played the classics that have been out for years" ~ Dunkey

Please, play a 15$ indie game. It'll change your life!

We literally cannot let them start charging 80 dollars for video games 70 dollars was already outrageous 60 was pushing it. 80 fucking dollars. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND. For MARIO?!?!?!?!?

ideally people would use some critical thinking and talk with their wallets by simply Not Buying It but at the end of the day emotionally immature and financially irresponsible morons are still gonna buy it day one because "buhubbuhh but maro look so good ......"

To everyone considering paying 5 billion dollars per year to play gamecube games on switch

Take my hand. I can show you a better way

ur payin eighty dollars for this?

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

“So basically my couch has electricity and I use it to charge my battery powered doorbell”

“Okay that makes sense”

Now explain it to a Japanese samurai from the year 1218

"do you know how waterwheels grind up grain in a water mill using the force of running water? We found a way to create a huge source of force that runs all the time and can transfer its force over long distance. I can tell you in more detail, but that's the basics. Now that is a chime that has a mechanism that one can press instead of having to open the door to let you know that you are waiting to be let in. It requires the transferred force to make the mechanism work and that wire is how we transfer the force to the chime."

Now explain this to a USAmerican

Imagine a burger with dodge ram beep beep

I love seeing list memes where someone makes a "le cool people vs le cringe" and they obviously skew it so they barely scrape by into the cool kids club

You just KNOW this dudes 5'11"

I'm 5'11, but in most casual conversations I'll say I'm 5'9. I do this purely for the chaos that it creates. Because everyone assumes that men only exaggerate their height up, it makes me look like the only person honestly describing their height and thus knocks at least 2 inches off everyone else's description. The panic that the 6'1 guys feel at the thought of being described as 5'11 is hard to understate. I have had people run back to their cars to grab tape measures. If I could get away with describing myself as 4'6 I would.

you are the diametrical opposite of the aforementioned guy. you are a demigod walking among mortals

I'm howling, I know shit about the newest Snow White Disney regurgitation but I just clicked on it on iMDb and-

1.8 stars????? I didn't think that was possible. I clicked on it and-

IT'S EVEN FUCKING LOWER THAN THAT IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE OBVIOUSLY PAID-FOR 10S. Like even the other two recent disasters are higher than that!

This is where it occured to me to check something and-

IT'S RATED SIGNIFICANTLY LOWER THAN A MOVIE MADE PURPOSEFULLY TO BE AS GROSS AND HORRIBLE AS POSSIBLE. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT??????

IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THE SEQUEL OF A SEQUEL OF A HORROR MOVIE MADE EXCLUSIVELY BECAUSE TOM CARDY MADE A SONG ABOUT IT.

I think I'm going to pirate this and watch it out of sheer morbid curiosity.

I couldn't help myself, I went on a quest to find a movie worse than this. A bit hard, because iMDb doesn't let you sort by the lowest rated 250, but I managed.

BEHOLD! The movies that managed to get a worse rating than Snow White!

Pledge this!

I actually saw this one when I was, uh, probably way too young for it. It's about Paris Hilton being a sadistic tyrant of some posh university and it includes charming scenes of her making aspiring college students eat leftover sushi from dog bowls and spraying whipped cream on her boyfriend's dick to make her dog give him a blowjob. Definitely worse than Snow White, right?

Well-

Enough people thought it was at least ironically funny to give it a 3.7 mean so it's, technically, NOT worse than Snow White. I guess Paris Hilton is at least hot.

Next, we have:

A very promising title! Apparently it's a sequel of a Turkish film 'The Man Who Saved the World', (which in itself is apparently 'Turkish Star Wars') and which one reviewer called 'mindbogglingly awful'. Hold on, let me show you the funniest part of one review:

This movie is so bad it interferes with one's inner peace! Surely not even Snow White is THAT bad.

Except-

To be fair, Turks in Space is a sequel of a problematic cult favorite, so it still manages to have some fans. My condolences to the person whose inner peace was disturbed, I hope you moved to a Tibetan monastery in 2019 and haven't had internet acess since. Hell, 2024 would be be better than seeing this.

Okay, by now iMDb algorhythm or whatever it is has figured out what I want and grudgingly started offering me its worst rated movies. Unfortunately...

It turns out it's REALLY FUCKING HARD to make a movie that is so universally unappealing. Even the worst movies so far have at least a dozen people who gave it a pity rating and a few maniacs who think it's unintentionally the best thing ever. Finding something below 1.8 is actually pretty hard!

But I prevailed and found this!

It's a very bad german vanity film about... I don't know, some guy who won a talent show once? The reviews speak for themselves:

'Cultural equivalent of stoning the viewer to death'. Wow. Have we finally found the most universally hated movie of all-

NOPE! Turns out even camcorder vanity projects have their fans. And mind you, this movie at least didn't cost 250 million to make! Considering how cheap it looks and that some people went to war with the German Amazon to track it down, I think it actually made more money than it cost anyway.

And so my search for a movie hated more than Snow White continues!

We're taking a turn for the absurd, and while these are TECHNICALLY a series, I have found TWO things that have made me nearly burst my spleen.

We have...

Literally just a collection of Charli D'Amelio's videos. I have to admit I had to google who the fuck that was.

But she still isn't what we're looking for. She does get an honorable mention because it's on her page that I found THIS.

People wiser than me have already realised what this is, but alas. I am an idiot. The 'ape' part should have tipped me off, but in my defense, seeing only half of that monkey's head was probably on purpose because you realize it instantly once you see it.

I had to open my computer, open youtube in a private window and then carefully copy it over here without opening it because I don't want Youtube algorhythm to catch so much as a whiff of it. But yes. It's exactly what it says on the tin.

HOWEVER.

It is, by the virtue of at least the people who went blind at the Bored Ape concert, NOT the most universally hated movie! Snow White continues to edge out some VERY stiff competition!

me: i dont like gangnam style

you: yeah me nei-

me: PSY-ch!

reblog if you gangnam smiled