fml we gotta do everything ourselves here

GET BOOPED SUCKEEERS

what’s new pussycat just started playing in this restaurant and every millenial in the room shared a knowing, fearful look

It’s fucking Tom Jones? Millennials are you too stupid to realize that Tom Jones is the reason some of you exist? (Think about it for a second, you’ll get it)

hhhhhh oh my god ohhh my god oh my fucking god

tom jones fucked all of our moms

Two weeks ago, my sister and I went out for breakfast at a popular cafe near her place. Enya’s ‘Only Time’ started playing halfway through our homefries, and was still droning right along as I ate my last bite of potato. Squinting, I looked up at the ceiling, looked at my sister, and said:

“Either someone’s playing ‘Only Time’ back-to-back, or ‘Only Time’ is a lot longer than I remember.”

Her eyes went huge. We lingered over our tea (a thing we normally wouldn’t do in a crowded eatery, but we had a mystery to solve) and soon confirmed that, yes, somebody was looping Enya. No one else in the cafe seemed to have caught on, but we were some of the younger people present anyway. The staff were all going about their business. Nobody was looking around with fearful millennial knowingness but us. By the sixth-ish repetition, we were in silent hysterics, biting our fists, whispering “GODDAMMIT” to each other, drawing weird glances from adjacent tables.

My sister got up to use the bathroom. Left alone with the seventh repetition of ‘Only Time’, I left my stuff at our table, got back in line, and ordered a pastry to go. As the barista rang me up, I said:

“Hey, sorry, weird question, but I have to know. Are you guys pulling a Salt and Pepper Diner right now?”

Her face transitioned from ‘polite customer service mask’ to ‘sly but delighted’ in .2 seconds. “We’ve been waiting to see if anybody would notice. Nobody’s been reacting at all!”

“Is there a prize for being the first?” I promise I was joking, but she lit up and said,

“Yes, oh my god! Do you want a cookie??”

And that’s the story of how John Mulaney won me a giant ginger-molasses cookie. 

The nefarious anglerfish has turned 12!!!!

Wish him a happy birthday!!

A bit of a pallet cleanser for everyone.

Most of the dogs: you have bestowed affection, I will cuddle you

The pit bull: KISSU????? KISSU FOR ME????? I KISS U!!!!! I GIVE KISSES!!!!!

🌟Today's Miku figure is:🌟

Myethos Shaohua, Shaoshi ver. (2025)

first pt original post(and everyone clapped)

for @dandybabbler & @whatifdazaieatshats

Honest Government Ad | Canada Election 2025

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

:C

I’m so fucking sick of AI

Don't forget that the OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE TWITTER ACCOUNT used this garbage AI ripping off Ghibli to post a meme about an immigrant getting arrested and deported:

Regardless of your feelings on drug dealing, this kind of behavior from AN ACTUAL GOVERNMENT is totally unacceptable. It just goes to show what type of people embrace this AI "art" garbage.

Have you ever looked closely at a car windshield?

The edge of the glass is painted where it is glued to the car but it has these small dots between the clear and painted glass.

These are there for a reason. When the sun hits the glass the painted areas and the clear areas will absorb heat at different rates. This causes the glass to expand and contract differently putting stress on the glass.

These dots help the glass to warm up more evenly over a larger area so the glass does not suffer stress that could cause it to spontaneously explode.

Fun fact: the Tesla cybertruck doesn’t have these.

Yes, the glass will spontaneously crack or explode in the sun.

#mustrum ridcully (via @fairytalesandfandoms )