IDK

*stares pensively into the distance*

what if. what if the blorbos. what if they kissed.

what if they pined messy & inconsolable for years. what if they twined their lives together denying it meant anything. what if they ached to hold one another close in the dark of night with all their tender spots and scars exposed. what if they couldn't look at each other without being blinded, staring at the sun regardless, adoring.

what if they fucked nasty style.

It's time I fed those who have fed me with the fics on AO3. I've been starved of Moaui content from binge reading, I just had to draw it myself. Hopefully there's more to come, I've been extremely hyped about this ship ever since seeing Moana 2.

~~~~

Just a mini fic down here to describe the scene.

Golden light through the frozen stillness

patricksvisuals

Literally something out of Scooby Doo

i just want to one day be loved like elle woods’ sorority sisters loved her

they all simply do not understand why elle wants to go to harvard so bad... yet they help her study, grade her tests, motivate her and all around fully support her from the moment she decides to go and never stop believing in elle not for a single second... like wow name me one sweeter moment in all of cinema, i’ll wait

sorry to be legally blonde blogging on main once again but i just wanted to talk about how easy it would’ve been to screw that movie up. the entire premise is based around a girl doing the most to get a guy, the main conflict of the film is the one between elle and viv, elle and her friends are stereotypical girly girls, etc - all that is just a perfect setup for a kind of passive aggressive lowkey misogynistic film that aims at actual feminist themes but falls short at #girlboss. but it doesn’t! while vivian is certainly catty to elle at first the insults aren’t sexist, vivian is just threatened but the confrontation is surprisingly and refreshingly... levelheaded? is the best way i can describe it. there is none of that one scene that a lot of 90’s movies seem to have where the two female protags have a fight where they insult each other’s appearance and then latch onto each other’s hair and yell bloody murder. ya know the one. there is none of that, none of the throwing around lowkey insults to women left and right, and in the end it works out quite beautifully because the only character we meet who is actually outright sexist is warner, which sets him up to be a gigantic asshole without having to have him like kill a kitten or something. it’s clever writing! and for a movie that came out in 2001 to toe that line between empowerment and sexism so well and come out the other side an enjoyable story with realistic women that does not fall under sexist tropes and stands the test of time is very admirable imo

anyway,

so FUCKING MAD

i caved and bought a new tire for my bike to finally & completely get rid of the persistent flat tire issue. a real expensive fancy-ass tire that should have been perfect. i install it today (finally). goes well. i put the wheel back on the bike's frame and-

it doesn't fucking fit. the fender is too close, the tire can't move at all it's fully pressed up locked in. because the new tire is like 1/4 of an inch fuller than the original (which is btw pretty much as close to the original as i could find it's not a popular size)

i take the tire off, so i can investigate how to adjust the fender placement. i can't it's built-in there's no way to move it around. okay so can i take it off- no, because the wire for the rear light is routed through the fender which is hollow, it's a solid unbroken wire i would have to fucking cut the wire and resolder it back together which will not be water resistant and will be way more prone to breaking from just normal riding around aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

and tumblr didn't even do a fun little prank to lift my spirits >(

alright, so it's crazy to remove the fender (regardless of the wire issue) because then i can't ride the bike in the rain without getting fully splashed up my ass

so i am returning my brand new shiny tire and will once more!!!! attempt to find and remove whatever fucking bit of debris is apparently stuck inside the original tire causing flats every damn time i think i've fixed it

if that fails, i will have to buy a new one of that same tire, even though it's not the best, because i don't trust any others to actually fit into the bike's frame correctly now that i know just how fucking tight the tolerance is

this is so rogue but does anyone have the poetry template that went semi-viral on twitter a while back? it was designed for kids but someone gave it to their mother who has dementia and she wrote a really moving poem about her experience.

the minute I posted this I remembered enough of the prompt itself to find it and now I’m trying not to cry at work

on a totally different note is this response from a kid, which is also beautiful and imo no less profound. and shows how the prompt can be interpreted so differently.

TEMPLATE:

My name is ...

Today I feel like ...*

Sometimes I am ...

And sometimes I am ...

But always I am ...

I ask the world, "...

And the answer is ... (repeat * words)

Vote based on your local government's regulations/recommendations. For example, if your tap water meets the legal requirements for safe drinking water but tastes funny so you filter it before drinking, you would select option 4: "It is SAFE, but it tastes/smells/looks off; I DON'T drink it as-is."

Examples of an off taste could include tasting like metal or chlorine; an off look could include visible particulates or a yellow tint.

–

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

I was thinking about Aragorn’s stupidly long legs again and I think it should be canon that he regularly smacks his forehead into low door frames and stuff. Just somwhere in Minas Tirith there’s a loud thunk followed by a long string of Sindarin swearwords and Arwen is like “ah yes, here he comes, the King of Gondor and Arnor, the love of my life.”

#it’s funnier because none of the humans around her are able to hear the thunk and the swearing so they think she has some kind of#Magical Elf Love Sense that anticipates his arrival#but no#she just hears him smacking his head on the weirdly low door by the eastern staricase AGAIN#also the elves are just as tall or taller but they NEVER smack their heads on the doorframes#unless they are very very drunk

WHY would you hide these GOLDEn additions in the tags?

#tolkien#lotr#aragorn#arwen#i see this headcanon and i raise you ‘minas tirith is the only city where aragorn does not smack his head on the doors’#because it was built by numenoreans before they were diminished (in spirit but also in height) by their exile#for everyone except aragorn and arwen the doorways are weirdly tall#for aragorn it’s just ‘oh thank the valar i don’t have to duck anymore’#it still takes him some time to shake the habit of ducking every time he goes through a doorway though#the first time faramir sees him do this he is very confused#the second time he sees arwen stuff her entire hand in her mouth to keep from laughing and is even more confused#the third time he asks what’s going on and almost dies of laughter when aragorn sheepishly explains that he’s used to smacking his head#every time he goes through a door

@winterinhimring YES

#So Rivendell ought to likewise have plenty of height in their doorways#Thus he didn’t develop the habit to duck early in life and so we get to keep the bit about Aragorn constantly whacking his head against#Other doorframes#But almost everywhere else WILL have shorter doorframes and he FORGETS#(Specially after that exhausting week around the battle of Helm’s Deep. The doorframes of the Riddermark aren’t built for the Dunedain)#So maybe it’s a toss up as to when he remembers to duck and when he forgets and when he remembers he doesn’t actually need to#Get this man some stability he’s earned it

@lady-merian These are BRILLIANT additions.

more excellent tags from @exercise-of-trust 😂

Bree being one of the only settlements that is actually designed to accomodate both tall and short people is actually surprisingly easy for Strider, as he is like. Aha. Inclusive architecture. The presence of a choice of doorway heights signals to me that I must pay attention to which one I select!

Unfortunately, his increased awareness of his head directly corresponds to reduced awareness of his legs, and while he can brilliantly navigate his way to a good Lurking Corner in any given Bree pub without hitting his head on a single chandelier, he then stretches out his legs and wipes out two hobbit servers with glasses, a guy selling spectacles, the chandelier itself, and ultimately a percentage point of the local economy

yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you greedy fucks

good.

"We keep making our service worse, cancelling shows before their time, hiking up the prices, and generally ruining what once was a decent product--piracy keeps wining somehow. 🤷"

This is especially funny because early on, part of Netflix's business model was to look at what series were being pirated and acquire them, and a lot of pirates would just use Netflix because it was easier and not too expensive.

But then Netflix made themselves infinitely more inconvenient and you'll never guess what happened next

I think I just aged about a bajillion years. I just had to explain a) why a landline phone needed to be plugged into the wall and b) what a switch hook is (the thing under the phone cradle that depresses when you put the handset back on its base, ending the call) and the person I was explaining it to was so enamored like golly gee, you sure do know a lot about 20th century technology.

*shakes fist playfully but gently lest my dusty arm fall off* whipper snappers

Also, not to compound the vampire rumors, but telephones are from the 19th century.

“Back in my day we used to own the media we liked.”

Okay, Grandma Joy.

“We kept them on spools of special tape that could store magnetic patterns that machines called videocassette recorders could read, creating moving pictures and sound on the screen, but only if you turned the tv to a special channel.”

(Talking aside to someone else) Has she had her meds today?

“If you wanted to watch your show again, you had to rewind the tape by holding down the button, but if you had a fancy machine it would do it for you as soon as it reached the end…”

Uhu…

“We could even record live television with them! And no one could stop us!”

Okay, someone’s over excited. Let’s get you back to bed…

Mama Mia it’s-a Wednesday

WRONG FUCKING IMAGE

HAPPY MAMA MIA ITS-A WEDNESDAY WRONG FUCKING IMAGE WEDNESDAY

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits