Spite's poetry is eating me alive. What do you mean a demon writes poetry while his host is asleep. What do you mean he describes himself as a fraction of what he once was.

"a PEACE cut from the ALL" A PEACE. A peace. Not piece. He was content once. Rememburnings. The memory of what he used to be burns. An infinity instead of a small shade.

What do you mean he feels like a hooked claw into Lucanis's gut. What do you mean he can feel the joy from Lucanis when they drink coffee because Lucanis wiggles his toes. A small shade and a wounded spirit sitting together oh my fucking god

Rip to everyone on this site who didn't realise they were following sleeper dragon age fans. The fandom is awakening from its deep slumber.

The final song in the Solavellan ending, when Lost Elf reappears, that is not on the soundtrack

Are y’all telling me you looked at Lucanis and expect him to have the understanding of himself that he’s demisexual?

The man doesn’t even realize he can buy his own wyvern tooth dagger with his own money. He’s not doing that kind of reflection.

Okay this is some personal shit but I need y'all to understand something:

Asexuality wasn't even formally recognized as a sexual orientation until 2012 (and the variations along the spectrum even later.)

I was 29 in 2012. I spent the first 3 decades of my life thinking I just "didn't have a knack for flirting" or that something was fundamentally broken about me, and it must just be an amalgamation of all my own insecurities and self-loathing that every time someone expressed attraction to me my entire being recoiled from it like touching a hot stove, like "haha you know what actually fuck this." Even if I liked them. Even if I, during several ill-fated attempts in my mid-20s, initiated it.

I clocked Lucanis as demi long before Mary confirmed it. Several of his banters make it painfully obvious. He loves romance in fiction but can't seem to make it happen for himself irl. He has made exactly one (1) other attempt, because it takes So Much respect and trust and time and mental energy to get him interested in the first place, and when it went unacknowledged/unreciprocated he just shrugged and went 'well thats how that goes I guess" and never bothered again. And now he's in his mid-thirties with a busy career (and trauma upon trauma) and assumes its just never happening. He expresses affection through acts of service bc it's all he can do despite believing its not enough (bc he knows other people need something he can't seem to give).

He understands some people have unusual kinks and thats fine, it's all the same shade of weird to him so y'all might as well have fun. He's obsessed with wyverns (this seems to be a very specific joke in the ace community lol).

He is absolutely desperate to hold onto his few remaining familial connections (however toxic), because that's all the love he ever expects to know.

And the almost-kiss? That wasn't Spite. The contrived attempt at swagger, not exactly fake but more like trying to ride a fleeting wave of mutual attraction long enough to communicate it with body language. The utter bliss of Rook's single finger on his chest because he is so terribly touch-starved.

Then the Flinch.

And then this expression of frustration and guilt and bone-deep sadness on his face and in his voice that I felt in my soul because that was me. That was me at 25-28 trying desperately to touch a hot stove on purpose because I was so abyssmally lonely. And I too blamed it on trauma. On self-loathing. On feeling othered and wrong.

I wanted to fucking cry for him.

Though not as much as when, at long last, we arrive at a relationship where while sex isn't necessarily off the table if both are feeling it, what matters to him above all else is that he ends the day asleep in your arms.

Just absolute perfection.

I have a long post in the works with all the dialogue in game where while it doesn't explicitly say he is demi, it is confirmation that he is on the spectrum. I clocked it long before Mary Kirby posted it as well.

I was apart of a high control religion that told pre-teen to 18 years even looking at the other gender was a sin next to murder. But at 18 we were all dumped in a church for the sole purpose of matching us up and getting us married. I tried once to reach out at this church when I attended in my early twenties. Yet I seemed to be the gateway for guys to approach my friends and I could not understand why, or why I was icked out at seeing two people who barely knew eachother making out on the desk outside of sunday school. I knew I was Bi/Pan back in highschool but as an adult I didn't understand why I could not be like allo members of my family. I found out I was demisexual from fandom, specifically a writing mentor of mine who affectionately bullied me into publishing some of my not perfect works for fandom. She pulled me aside having come from the same cultural icongraphy as mine and said "I can't tell you what you are, but I think if you go google demisexuality, that will help you understand yourself honey." I can't tell you how much I cried reading about demisexuality, I thought I was broken and wrong. No I just needed connection. As someone in an long term relationship looking at marriage. At the end of the day, all that matters to me is being able to hug and hold my partner and fall asleep to the sound of their breathing.

Excuse me I need to go cry over this romance and drink another coffee. Also if someone wants to pop into messages and explain the wyvern thing I would love you forever. (It might also explain some things about me)

Re: the wyvern thing - as long as I've been around the online ace community there has been a truth universally acknowledged that Ace People Really Love Dragons For Some Reason.

Like it would be a stereotype if it came from outside, but its very much an insider observation (in the same vein as "wow we neurodivergent queers sure do love mothman huh"). The joke went like "oh lol we must actually be only attracted to powerful mythological creatures that don't exist, that explains everything! ;)"

(No one actually believes that joke obvs, despite the also well-known ace-to-monsterfucker pipeline, which has more to do with having a high tolerance for unconventional expressions of love/sex in fiction due to having no personal preferences or basis of reference, at least among non sex-repulsed aces.) (And also something something often being made to feel inhuman ourselves in an allonormative society yada yada don't worry about it).

Idk if its intentional with Lucanis but its still funny; though in his case it can't be high dragons bc he already sees those more often than he would like and they usually try to destroy his hometown or eat him and anyway thats Taash's territory. So its wyverns, which are endemic to southern Thedas and so far away they might as well be myth.

I would also like to submit that the reason Lucanis never bought himself a wyvern-tooth dagger with his grown adult money is bc Caterina used to discourage what she saw as an unbecoming childish obsession and probably shamed or punished him for wanting the dagger (its also likely not the most practical assassin's tool). So that little desire became painful and he just put it away the rest of his life, until out of nowhere someone (who incidentally also just got done saving his life so he respects them already) randomly gifts him one. The part of young Lucanis's mind that Caterina managed to lock away but not destroy suddenly lights up like fireworks and goes FUCK YEAH WYVERNS (while Spite goes FUCK YOU CATERINA) and he's momentarily *giddy* over it. ❤️

(Also congrats to you and your partner on your relationship that sounds wonderful.)

My hot Dragon Age: the Veilguard take is that Lucanis has absolutely zero game. People portray him as super cool and flirty and suave and I’m like

This is a man who does not know what to do with a compliment. He’s a little business boy who has a big job and an overbearing grandmother.

You say something sexy to him and he fucking chokes on his own spit.

Y’all hear the accent and think sensual right away but this man hasn’t slept in like 3 weeks, is literally running on Spite, and hides in the pantry most of the time.

No game whatsoever.

I love him 🥹💕

Being in the dragon age fandom for like 12+ years is like

Dragon Age 2 release week: this game fucking sucks, they ruined the lore and the companions are cringe

Dragon Age 2, 5 years after release: this game is fantastic albeit rushed, the companions are my favorite

Inquisition release week: this game fucking sucks, they ruined the lore with these new implications

Inquisition, 5 years after release: this game is fantastic, I love the lore implications

Veilguard release week: this game fucking sucks--

Playing around with Dorian's design a bit.

we have fun here in Thedas

Lucanis Dellamorte 🖤 hi tumblr! been awhile <3

Pssst

Hey, are you an artist or writer with WIPs?

Come here... I got a secret for you pssst come ‘ere

waiting in deep suspense

Psst you ready here comes the secret

Here it comes

I am also very curious about this secret

Your time spent enjoying the creative process is infinitely more valuable that any final project you create. So stop putting yourself down for never finishing or posting those WIPs because every moment you spent creating something you loved is a moment not wasted. Your progress and talent is measured by your passion not your number of posts.

This post went from 3k to 7k overnight and that just goes to show how many of you need to hear this so make sure you don’t ever forget it

I like the funny little head canon that when Lucanis gave Viago the knife to like.. flirt with him, that Viago did NOT in fact take the gesture as flirting or as a courting gift and actually took it as a threat against de Riva, so he has his head on a swivel with house Dellamorte and Teia could tell him but it’s so much funnier to watch it play out this way and then you know.. he’s presumed dead and viago is still confused but mourns all the same and then all of the sudden he is very much not dead and not only is he uh not dead he also is now romantically involved with a de Riva, Viago’s little sibling protégé no less, and someone please put him out of his misery already and tell him