what’s up sluts (not derogatory I love whores and slutty people)

Hey, uh, I'm not going to make it tonight. Yeah, uh, the dragon queen kidnapped me. Yeah, again. No, it's fine, don't send anyone. She wants me to drink from her enchanted chalice and become her consort. I'm not sure what that means, but I'm going to roll with it. See ya tomorrow

Ugh, my coworker just showed up half an hour late, 7ft tall with horns brushing the ceiling and a feathered tail. He totally drank from the Dragon Queen's Enchanted Chalice™

(Also, he has tits now(??). Buddy, is there something you want to get off your chest????)

Tragic: Your himbo coworker is completely unaware and unappreciative of the fact that he's being forcefemmed by the dragon queen

AITA for telling my coworker that his girlfriend is forcefemming him?

My (28M) coworker (29M) has been seeing a girl (378F) for a few weeks. I can't go into specifics for privacy reasons, but she is in possession of a certain enchanted chalice that he definitely drank from and now he is a 7ft tall half dragon with breasts and killer hips.

Before he started seeing her, We used to spend a lot of time together outside of work, playing video games or watching tv or just hanging out and talking. But she's taken up all of his attention lately and decided to make him her consort. To make matters worse, she is very obviously forcefemming him with that enchanted chalice and he doesn't even realize it

I look at him and his beautiful scales and feathers and I just get so mad. There are so many people who would kill for an opportunity like this and he doesn't even seem to realize. I mean, who wouldn't want to be a sexy dragongirl?

So he was showing me his muscles, asking me if they looked any bigger (they do, the sight of them makes my chest so tight). I just fucking lost it. I yelled at him and told him his stupid girlfriend was turning him into a girl and a creature. He got real quiet and excused himself from the room.

He hasn't answered any of my texts and I'm starting to think I fucked up our friendship, but he had to know. I support him and only want what is best for him but I don't think she is right for him. AITA?

EDIT: I am not in love with my coworker! I don't even like guys!

EDIT: Why do people keep replying to this with 🥚 emojis? Is that some kind of dragon joke??

EDIT: I AM NOT JEALOUS OF MY COWORKER'S CONDITION!!

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

#you gotta be more specific man#Hobbits are specifically famous for two Really Long Walks

Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted

one thing that sucks about me is that whenever a cis guy starts wondering about how to look more attractive or appealing my first and only suggestion is always estrogen. but i’m not really wrong per se.

this t4t stuff is getting way too complicated. how am i supposed to compete? i don’t even own any weapons.

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

today i went for a drive and saw a big ass Jeep with the license plate P@P@ BE@R and a window sticker that said “Bought with Daddy’s Money…and I’m Daddy” and I sped up my car a bit to look through the driver’s window and prayed that I’d see what i hoped to see and sure enough there was a big chunky bear with a big ol beard driving the car with this twink chewing gum on his phone in the passenger seat and even though the window was tinted i could see was another one in the back seat…and the world was right for that single moment

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

Reblog if you:

No one will know which is it

This guy inspired me to repair my own macbook. First of all, you should know that I am not… like, I have to look up HOW to look up what my computer specifications are. Tech, that ware either soft or hard, is not a subject in which I experience comfort or competence. But my puppy peed on my keyboard, and I asked the apple store, or the fucking mac cafe, or the godsdamn Computer House Chill Zone or whatever cute ass name they have for their bullshit store, and they said it would be TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO REPLACE MY KEYBOARD. I’m not even exaggerating.

So I asked the internet, well how hard IS it to repair? And I saw this guy’s video, and while I am no techie, I AM fueled by spite, so I was all “oh, they do that shit on purpose specifically so they can charge me $1200 bucks or make me buy a new computer hunh? FUCK THEM” and I bought all the tools I needed for about $25 and I bought all the parts I needed for about another $25 and I watched a few tutorial videos, and I replaced my own keyboard.

So, once you are doing the actual deed, it becomes pretty obvious that they are finding creative ways to make this much harder than it has to be on purpose. On thing that stood out to me is, instead of all the tiny screws being the same size, there are about two dozen very slightly different sizes. They could easily be all the same size, or like, two sizes at most, but no.

These mother fuckers will take a panel that screws into place and they’ll use a different size screw for each corner. They are so close that you almost cannot tell them apart visually, but they each will only screw into the matching corner. Like, it’s a pretty clear “fuck you” to anyone trying to do repairs.

anyway, this guy is also fueled by spite, and doing holy work, and I have mad respect

This is awesome. Man is doing good ass deeds 24/7 because he’s giving people control.

How dare you not leave a link to his channel, this guy is the savior of the modern world.

vittoria alla ribellione

Fuck Apple, Fuck every big tech company

fuck you. I'm not saying tgirl anymore. girl is trans by default. I will now specify when I'm talking about a cis woman

How to pick up trans bitches:

"Hey, what are your pronouns?"

Wait for them to answer

"Cool, now can I see them tiddies?"

Works literally 0% of the time idk why someone would try this

Actually this would work

It shouldn't

Yeah you're mommy's little dei hire

Aww thanks <3

HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY

so much care put into housing this aging spider. why are my eyes wet

(tiktok link)

Alien Scientist: No, you don’t understand. Humans will pack bond with anything.

If you are trying to overcome a fear of spiders I can’t recommend this TikTok enough. They never post jump scares and always put warnings if a spider moves fast in a video. All of the videos are super cute and portray the spiders in a very positive and non threatening manner. 11/10 would recommend.

@official-megumin

❗️GAME TIP❗️you can take your autistic girlfriend to the aquarium to stare at fish🐟🐠

’cold showers are actually much better for you’ I don’t care if they gave me the power to manipulate time. you can pry scorching hot showers out of my dead hands. and even if I got time manipulation powers I would just use them to take more hot showers. btw

Using the blog as a dating site would work great if all the girls I like weren't some of the densest lesbians (lovingly) in the most far away countries (derogatory)

I'm going to keep reblogging this until my dense lesbian sees it

"far away countries (derogatory)" is one of these things that really sound different depending on where you are.

Are you calling me out for racism on my yearning post?

everyone knows the thing racists hate most about foreigners is that they are very far away