You tell your cowgirl gf you want to bring toys into the bedroom and she brings out a handsaw, a vaguely rake-like implement, and two semispheroidal objects with handles

Dead Ringers

never added the final line to one of these mugs before, but I felt it was time for weird bugs

boy if i pitch can u catch.. while blues primarily a basketball guy i really wanted to draw him playing baseball so heres a bunch of quickie studies :-)

New discourse: it's actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you'll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!

also if you're a Sag and you're dating a Taurus, that means you're secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!

Also, humanoid signs like Aquarius, Gemini, and Virgo absolutely cannot date animal signs. That is interspecies erotica coded fucko and animals CANNOT CONSENT.

Aries, Capricorn and Taurus dating each other make me sick, they're all bovidae it's so obviously incest I-- 🤢

If you date a gemini that's polyamory-coded

So I'm just supposed to be celibate forever then-?

Don't be silly! Sexuality is to be celebrated and love is love after all! You just have to accept that however you're doing it will be awful and problematic in some capacity, miring you in a constant low-level state of shame and guilt that can and will be weaponized against you at any time, should someone somewhere take offense to any of your actions or just your face. This process is enlightened and progressive and definitely not repackaged Original Sin

hey @beemovieerotic! what.

Yeah. it's a lot to get into but tldr: there's an energy crisis in Monstropolis because humans are having fewer children, who monsters need to scare for electricity - so the CEO sets up a secret division of Monsters Inc (the Fuck Floor) where they fuck horny adult monsterfuckers to produce screams.

In the human world, the CIA under the leadership of president Marianne Williamson launches ICUM, the Intelligence Center for Understanding Monsters, where trained agents honeypot monsters to gain intel on the monster world.

Sulley gets sent to the Fuck Floor and he's sent through the closet to our protagonist Oakley who's part of the CIA, and they end up catching feelings for each other.

As part of the worldbuilding, both the monster and human worlds have become heavily involved in astrology:

I won't spoil everything but Williamson's secret service aka the Astral Warriors have to find out Sulley and Oakley's star signs to determine the fate of the two worlds.

thank you tumblr user @beemovieerotica for elevating this post. or detruding it. one of these. at any rate the post level has definitely been changed in a significant way

This is the peak tumblr content I couldn't stay away from <3

i was preparing a wet specimen one day and my dad was like this reminds me of my work buddy who ties dollar store balloons to roadkill and watches them fly away. and i had to drop everything for a second and say no. no i dont think this is like that

you'll be a giant some day, kid

Turns out, no one wins in a mirror match...

The muse possessed me after a little exchange with @goldenrodlion, turns out we both would have lightning (and ice) attacks in a fighting game..!

Oh that's a tumbler or roller pigeon! They're bred to do this! It's believed that the original inclination to tumble in the air was a tactic to avoid being caught by flying predators, then this inclination was bred in favor of doing it more. Some breeds can also fly normally for hours as well, and the most sound breeds are those that can make safe landings still. There's whole shows and competitions around tumbler pigeons!

There's more unsound breeds of course as well, but this one clearly has good control of its flight and landing. Well done pigeon!

tumblr pigeon 🤨

i’m back in the fucking building again

bonus:

yes it is. and i haven’t even told y’all about the time a girl i met at a bar told me i looked like tim stoker yet

so, i've witnessed multiple instances of croatian children (approx. in the 7 - 15 age range, so like, generation alpha + younger zoomers) conversing amongst each other in english instead of croatian. the last time was at my local gas station, where i heard two girls discuss what chocolate bars they should buy in (grammatically correct but clearly accented) english before switching to (flawless) croatian while paying for their chocolate

anyone i've tried to talk abt this irl uniformly reacted with horror, all of them seemingly convinced english is eventually going to entirely displace croatian as a native language—but i'm not really sure that's what's going on. knowledge of english is a really new phenomenon in croatia (and the rest of former yugoslavia). really new—mastery of the language begins w zoomers, more or less. you shouldn't expect any croat over the age of 25 to speak english fluently, and any over the age of 35 to speak english at all. (millennials + younger gen xers are nominally fluent in german; their parents are nominally fluent in russian, and their parents are nominally fluent in german, again). it is perfectly reasonable for a young croat to assume nobody older than them—say, a gas station clerk, or the noisy old fart standing behind them in the queue—is going to be privy to the content of their conversation if they converse in english. this leads me to think these kids are using english as an adult-exclusive cipher. which is pretty fucking cool, actually, even though i imagine it's not really the sort of thing one should expect to have a long shelf life, esp. as older zoomers reach child-rearing age

I've seen it noted that in some Papuan communities researchers decades ago were saying things like 'the younger generations only really speak in Tok Pisin and so the language is likely in danger of dying out in the next few decades', and then researchers returning to field sites more recently report the exact same sociolinguistic distribution. I've seen it suggested that actually what's happening is that the younger generations are actually pretty fluent in the community language, but only switch to actually using it once they reach maturity, a phenomenon that Anderbeck (2015) terms 'Adult Acquisition', and Saad, Arnold & Peddie (Accepted) term 'Late Vernacular Production'. It's obiouvsly not the case that all the small languages of Papua have this kind of dynamic going on,

Anderbeck, Karl. 2015. Portraits of language vitality in the languages of Indonesia. In I. Wayan Arka, Ni Luh Nyoman Seri Malini, Ida Ayu Made Puspani (eds.), Language documentation and cultural practices in the Austronesian world, Papers from ICAL 12 (A–PL 019) 4:19–47. Canberra: Pacific Linguistics.

Saad, G., Arnold, L., & Peddie, E. (Accepted/In press). Late Vernacular Production in Island Southeast Asia and the Pacific. Glossa Contact.

trans person: im trans

society: ok

the magnificent african forest buffalo:

OP was eating Delicious Rotisserie Chicken when making this post!

how did you know that.

“As you can see, everything just breaks.”

Workday Wednesday Lets Get This Fucking Bread

watching twin peaks is hard because sometimes you think 'these characters could use some therapy'. and then you remember that some of them did seek out professional help but their only option was this